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View Full Version : Anyone else had problems about Easter at school? I hate it!



Lilac Hamster
Mar 30th, 2007, 12:52 PM
I am so mad right now with my 5 year old daughter's infant school, so thoughtless and disrespectful in some of the things they make the children sing and they KNOW how strongly I feel about our vegan ethics and raising the children this way so IMO there is no excuse for what they did today and they should have discussed this with me beforehand!

Today was the Easter Bonnet parade so I had made up an Easter hat with some toy chicks and paper flowers, as did most of the parents.

When it came to parade time I was there with the parents waiting, the reception children came in in their hats, and then all started singing "chick chick chick chick chicken, lay a little egg for me... I want one for my tea... etc, etc". Obviously I was not happy, but could not say anything! I have to work out what I am going to do to address this after the Easter break.

Afterwards on the way home I called hubby at work and he said he had actually heard Lucy singing this song at home one time this week (I had not heard her), and so he was somewhat aware they had been singing it in school, although obviously neither of us was aware that the children as a group would be singing it at the Easter hat parade today. Her father had explained to her that we don't want to eat eggs from hens, which she agreed we did not want to eat, but she also said it was just a song (see how they use these things to brainwash kids, the idea that farming is all sweetness and light all you have to do is ask a hen nicely for an egg?).

I am so upset about the mixed messages my daughter is getting, with the school promoting the eating of eggs by making the children sing this song. She knows we do not agree with it, so I am worried as to how she might be feeling in case she thinks I might be cross or upset with her for singing it today with the other children (I wouldn't blame her obviously, she is only 5 years old, and I hold the teachers and headteacher 100% responsible for being so completely disrespectful and insensitive to my beliefs about animal exploitation). My daughter is so good about asking if things are vegan and totally accepts we are vegan so as not to harm animals, all three children do do far and are not rebelling against it, I think because we have never just said we are vegan but we have explained although not graphically, that animals suffer in the process so they all seem to see the sense in why we are a vegan family. But I am terribly upset about the conflicting pressures on my daughter in this situation, because she is too young to explain to the teachers that we are not happy about her having to sing an egg eating song. My main concern is that the whole thing, which should have been a happy occasion, might have caused her some anxiety today! She ran over and gave me a big hug right after the Easter hat parade, before returning to her classroom, and I am wondering if this was in part because she was seeking some reassurance that I was not mad with her for singing an anti-vegan song! most of the kids did not rush up to their mums for a big hug, but stayed in line like little soldiers. Maybe I am reading too much into it and she would probably do that anyway, she does tend to do this which is lovely and spontaneous, but I don't know if she is feeling some anxiety about my possible disapproval. I don't want this for her and am so mad with the school for putting us through this.

What would other parents do in this situation, and can anyone think of any Easter songs I can suggest for next year which would not be offensive?

twinkle
Mar 30th, 2007, 01:17 PM
There are tons of songs here (http://www.preschooleducation.com/seaster.shtml) most of which seem suitable.

If you google "easter songs" a lot comes up.

puffin
Mar 30th, 2007, 01:21 PM
It wouldnt bother me if my son sang that song. Sorry but i think its a waste of time and energy getting annoyed about something like that.

twinkle
Mar 30th, 2007, 01:23 PM
... Her father had explained to her that we don't want to eat eggs from hens, which she agreed we did not want to eat, but she also said it was just a song (see how they use these things to brainwash kids, the idea that farming is all sweetness and light all you have to do is ask a hen nicely for an egg?)....

I can see why you are upset about this, but I also think that as you have provided her with the fundamentals of veganism, she will be quite able to grasp that what she is singing isn't necessarily true. Children have to learn at quite an early age what is and isn't real, and there are plenty of fairy tales and nursery rhymes (e.g. Rockabybaby) where quite horrible things are happening if you take them literally, but they are just songs or stories for the purposes of entertainment. You can be sure she's going to believe you about the realities of egg farming, over a silly song :)

Marrers
Mar 30th, 2007, 01:39 PM
Twinkle makes some good points. Try not to worry too much - I'm sure once your daughter is home and you have had a chance to make sure she is not upset you will start to feel less stressed about it.

From what I have read about your efforts with the school it seems like you are doing a great job and really promoting awareness, it is impressive.

Perhaps after the holdiays it would be worth mentioning to the school that it was something they could have done differently if they had realised the implications, making it quite lightweight and taking it as a mistake or oversight (whether it was or not). In a few weeks time it may be easier to tackle it like that, once your annoyance has died down a bit!

I think in an ongoing situation like this you should pick your battles as I'm sure there are or will be plenty! As you've said in the past that you'll get better results if the school sees you as a calm and reasoned person who is working in partnership with them. That's also my opinion. :)

Charlotte
Mar 30th, 2007, 04:34 PM
Send her to a non Christian school?

Lilac Hamster
Mar 30th, 2007, 05:38 PM
I'm an atheist, so I certainly wouldn't send my children to a Christian school. It's an ordinary state infant school, not a church school (sorry maybe this wasn't clear but in fact most non-denominational schools seem to observe Easter as well as Christmas).

They just do the fun side of Easter with Easter Eggs and the Easter Bunny which is no big problem, I just send in Whizzers speckled eggs and got some of the vegan creme eggs too, so she does not miss out even though I have to provide ours while no-one else has to provide any (so of course as vegans we never really get fully equal treatment just because teachers and school staff are generally clueless about veganism).

I'm not going to fight against her learning about religions, so long as it is not pushed on them they have to believe it, as the vegan issues are more important to me, and I have to pick my battles or would be battling all the time. I don't think they've really pushed religion too much so far (the religious side is more prevalent at Christmas, it annoys me a bit admittedly).

My older two (14 and 11) seem to be growing up pretty much to be non-believers anyway. The little one does say she believes in god although that might change, we shall see, it's up to them really.

I'll probably take Marrers' advice, not be too confrontational but say I felt a bit uncomfortable about the song because of being about eating real eggs, and suggest for the future a few of the other songs Twinkle found, since none of them promote eggs as something to eat.

Thanks everyone, including Puffin, even though we don't agree, because for me it seems like a subtle form of brainwashing when they get them singing songs such as this. Old McDonald had a Farm is a particular pet hate of one of my vegan friends, she does not like her son being encouraged to sing it.

Lucy is fine anyway, I don't think she has been worried or upset at all.

Cherry
Mar 30th, 2007, 06:16 PM
Wouldn't the church be more encouraging of songs about Jesus rather than eggs and chickens? :D

Don't worry Lilachamster. If your daughter was at all upset (and it doesn't sound like she was) then she just needs to know that you aren't cross with her and that you're proud of her and her bonnet :) I can imagine that it was a bit of a nasty shock to hear her singing an un-vegan song, but if she's anything like you then I don't think she's going to be easily brainwashed and has strong feelings about veganism already :)

Really it's down to Lucy's teacher, who should have been more thoughtful, but mistakes happen. It might be a good idea to mention it to her next teacher before they choose the Easter songs next year.

EDIT - was multitasking whilst writing this and somehow managed to miss Lilac Hamsters post :D

Hemlock
Mar 30th, 2007, 06:23 PM
Unfortunately the world is predominently omni and they rarely understand why we would get upset over things like that.

puffin
Mar 30th, 2007, 08:17 PM
I agree Hemlock, thats why i said it isnt worth worrying about. Vegans are already thought of as weird and i think if you went into the school lesley saying you were offened by a song no one would take it serious anyway.
Its best not to let things like that get to you.
Sorry i was short earlier, crap week and i havent much patience.

auntierozzi
Mar 30th, 2007, 08:27 PM
Chick chick chick chick chicken
You know you're safe with us
Chick chick chick chick chicken
With vegans, no need to fuss...
Your eggs are not for eating
That's a promise we can make
So....chick chick chick chick chicken
Your eggs we will not take....;)

Cherry
Mar 30th, 2007, 08:49 PM
I feel the need to stick up for the teaching profession.

All teachers I have ever worked with have made big efforts to ensure that all children (whether allergic to dairy or nuts, Christian with strong views about 'witches' in books etc) are happy and included. Almost all teachers I've met do such a lot for the kids in their class. They worry about them at night and at the weekends, they plan their lessons around things they know children in the class will enjoy or will relate to, they buy them things with their own money,they care if someone is behaving out of character or is being left out, they worry about whether the children are meeting their potential and are making progress, and are under tremendous pressure as it is with the paperwork. People seem to be under the impression that 'teachers don't care' and won't take any notice :(

I think it was just an oversight, rather than apathy.

Lilac Hamster
Mar 31st, 2007, 12:16 AM
At one time the British ppl were almost certainly predominantly racist. Maybe that is a good reason that nothing should have been said about the offensive line "catch a nigger by his toe" in a children's rhyme.
I'm glad enough people believed it was something to speak up over, aren't you, or is that somehow "different"?


Unfortunately the world is predominently omni and they rarely understand why we would get upset over things like that.

Hemlock
Mar 31st, 2007, 01:46 PM
I remember being sung that song in the sixties by an adult and it wasn't considered at all offensive back then as noone cared what black people felt like - hopefully in only 40 years time people will find the chicken song equally offensive to vegans but we are not at that stage yet.

Sometimes you just get really fed up with having to explain yourself over and over again (about your veganism) and I have days where I just cannot be bothered because I am too tired/busy/got other things going on.

Actually I am glad you mentioned that other offensive song because it gives us all hope that times do indeed change so we have something to look forward to.

Talking bout how times change - i as born illegitimate in the 60's which was considered a disgrace back then and people in my grandmothers village used to refer to me as "that bastard" right in front of my face:eek: I have become quite hard skinned as a result:)

cedarblue
Mar 31st, 2007, 02:43 PM
At one time the British ppl were almost certainly predominantly racist.

WOW, thats a sweeping statment if ever i saw one.....