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Odinsfury
Apr 29th, 2007, 07:47 PM
I've been following a vegan diet for about a month now and I can say that I definitely would not go back. I haven't felt this alive and well since I was a child.

In the past I had little or no regard for the cruelty that the world inflicts on animals, but since I've made the switch I've come to realize how wrong it is to raise animals just to imprison them for their entire life to be exploited and slaughtered.

I realize that I've easily passed the hardest step for a lot of people, which is changing your diet. It wasn't much of a stretch for me, the only thing I had to give up was fish and since I've given it up I don't really count it as a loss.

One of my challenges to come is going to be telling my dad. I'm 25 now, but I still don't have the courage to tell him. Luckily, I just don't eat dinner at his house very often, but sooner or later I'll have to tell him. When I was 12 I decided I didn't like meat of the land dwelling variety, but he made me eat it anyway. I think this has something to do with the perceived difficulty.

Another one of my problems is the number of products I already own that were manufactured from animals. My reversible leather belt, my gloves, my cell phone case, my wallet, my slippers, some of my shoes, and the list goes on and on. I can't even afford to replace it all at this time. I suppose I'll just have to replace it all one at a time.

Anyhow, thanks to all that read this and I would appreciate any advice you can give me.

flutterby
Apr 29th, 2007, 07:51 PM
Another one of my problems is the number of products I already own that were manufactured from animals. My reversible leather belt, my gloves, my cell phone case, my wallet, my slippers, some of my shoes, and the list goes on and on. I can't even afford to replace it all at this time. I suppose I'll just have to replace it all one at a time.
Hello Odinsfury and welcome to the forum, have a look at the Using old non-vegan products thread for many answers to this query, http://www.veganforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=520 :)

Robert
Apr 29th, 2007, 08:10 PM
Hi Odinsfury (great name by the way).

Congrats on going vegan and it is great to read that you have made the transition so well.

I think the reason parents force their kids to eat meat when they declare themselves vegetarian or vegan is twofold - one) they think not eating some meat is unhealthy and two) the idea of preparing a separate meal for vegetarians/vegans in the home is seen as too much trouble/too expensive.

Either way, good luck with introducing your change of lifestyle to your dad - hopefully it will go well.

As to the query re old non-vegan products - I would be in much the same boat as you - still have shoes, a belt and a wallet made of leather. Will be replacing them as soon as I can afford to.

RachelJune
Apr 29th, 2007, 09:38 PM
Another one of my problems is the number of products I already own that were manufactured from animals. My reversible leather belt, my gloves, my cell phone case, my wallet, my slippers, some of my shoes, and the list goes on and on. I can't even afford to replace it all at this time. I suppose I'll just have to replace it all one at a time.


As to the query re old non-vegan products - I would be in much the same boat as you - still have shoes, a belt and a wallet made of leather. Will be replacing them as soon as I can afford to.

I've been vegan for about 4 years now and I still have some leather items that I bought back in my non-vegan days. I reasoned that it would be wasteful and of no use to simply disgard these items, so I will use them until they wear out and then replace them with vegan alternatives. I don't think it's anything to feel bad about, the main point is that you're not going to further contribute to animal suffering by purchasing these products from now on.

As for telling your Dad, now that you're an adult he can at worst disagree with your decision. I think Robert has a point when he says that parents often disagree on the basis that they worry about your health. Many people have the misconception that veganism = unhealthy. It's up to us to dispel that myth by proving that we can be just as healthy, if not healthier than non-vegans. Maybe you just need to reassure your Dad that you are making an informed decison, and perhaps get hold of some literature that supports this.

Best wishes and hope all goes well x

Korn
Apr 29th, 2007, 10:35 PM
As for telling your Dad, now that you're an adult he can at worst disagree with your decision. I agree - in that age, parents aren't the problem, it's how one relates to them.

Odinsfury, you may want to have a look at this thread (in case you haven't seen it already): Parents an obstacle when going vegan? (http://www.veganforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14599)

horselesspaul
Apr 30th, 2007, 07:26 AM
Personally, I ditched all of my non-vegan property the day I became a vegan. Cheap replacements were relatively easy to find.
I hope your father is understanding, eventually.
Good luck.

RedWellies
Apr 30th, 2007, 09:51 AM
Hi Odinsfury. Regarding telling your dad....maybe put it in a positive way. Instead of worrying about what he might or might not say/do (which will let him see you're defensive by your body language), say that you've come to a fantastic decision about your diet and lifestyle and how happy that makes you. He'd have to be a hard man to put you down after that. Hope it all goes well. If not, stick to your plans and he'll eventually have to accept your new lifestyle.

harpy
Apr 30th, 2007, 09:59 AM
As I said in the other similar thread, there might be a case for not telling your dad until you've been vegan for a while, then he may be encouraged to accept it by the fact you look healthy and so forth.

I think even for adults there's a temptation to want approval from your parents for your decisions, but you don't actually need it. And some parents in my experience have a tendency to hear statements about lifestyle changes as a request for advice, and many will tend to advise you to do what they think is safest for you, which is often sticking to the status quo.

On the other question, I didn't ditch all my old leather shoes etc after I stopped buying new ones. I may still have one or two items knocking around after 14 or 15 years.

Odinsfury
May 1st, 2007, 12:27 AM
I've been going over it in my head about why I am so afraid to tell him. You guys are right, the worst that can happen is that he disapproves of it, we exchange a few words about it, and I go home. I just know that I'll get the whole spiel that I've gotten more times than I can count already and it hasn't even been that long. Where are you getting your protein? You'll get sick if you don't eat meat. You have to drink milk to get calcium. I'm already tired of responding to those types of inquiries because I'm always the one that looks misinformed. I'm worried my dad will think that I'm misinformed as well, so I want to be prepared, but I don't want to appear to be too much on the defensive.

harpy
May 1st, 2007, 01:55 AM
Well, it's hardly a question of being on the defensive: it's quite a good idea to mug up those "where do you get..." questions just so you can make sure you're getting enough of everything. Then when you do discuss it with your dad you'll be able to blind him with science ;)

Korn
May 1st, 2007, 08:17 AM
Where are you getting your protein? You'll get sick if you don't eat meat. You have to drink milk to get calcium.
Hi, have you seen this thread, Odinfury: Top 50: Comments from non-vegans (http://www.veganforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3024)?

Instead of answering these questions the 'standard' way ("I get protein from the same sources as the animals you eat: from plants" etc), why not ask questions instead? If someone claims that you will get sick if you don't eat meat, you could say that you think this is an interesting theory, and ask for documentation - or ask if they actually suggest that people who eat meat don't get sick. Most of these people are not questioning their own habits, and maybe a conversation about the changes in your lifestyle would help them take a new look at how they live?

subversa
May 1st, 2007, 08:53 PM
Parental units can never seem to help themselves getting in your way with all their meddlesome 'care'. (~_^)
They also tend to try and reject, for their child, all that they cannot fully comprehend.
EVERYTHING (from my vegetarianism at age 13, to my atheism, to my bisexuality, to my musical preferences, etc.) has been a "phase", in my parents' eyes. Despite the fact that I am 27 now, am still /essentially/ the same, and have been out of their house/control since 15, I think they /still/ see things this way. If your parents can never come to grips with the fact that you are your own being and will never be everything they want you to be,... then you must recognize the fact that they are incapable of this and it is /their/ flaw that you must come to accept and understand- but never let influence/effect you.

Take your desire to present a more well-informed viewpoint, RedWelies suggestion to present it as the positive life change that it is, and Korn's suggestion to make this a mutual inquiry (rather than a one-sided interrogation)... and mash it all up in a hearty ball of goodness, to roll across the dining room table to your father.

You could also ask him to let you prepare dinner for that night and make a delicious, nutrient-rich meal for your family. Giving them something concrete, rather than an abstract idea, to grasp onto could go a long way to facilitate understanding.

Odinsfury
May 2nd, 2007, 01:44 AM
Korn, I like the way you put it about asking questions back. Usually I hate when people ask a question in response to a question, but in this situation it might actually make the other person think.

Luckily for me, my parents were more accepting of the things I chose for myself than yours were Subversa. In fact, I think choosing what I wanted to eat was really the only thing my father ever denied me. I'm not exactly sure why.

I've already received more advice than I thought I would by posting this. I know what I have to do and I'm pretty sure I know how I want to do it. Thank you to all who have responded. I suppose it's about 80% in the delivery and 20% how many beers he's had before I tell him.

sprite1986
May 2nd, 2007, 10:13 AM
I suppose it's about 80% in the delivery and 20% how many beers he's had before I tell him.


Hahaha. :D


Best of luck with it. After all, you know you're doing the right thing, we know you're doing the right thing. And over time, your dad will come to realise that you are doing the right thing, for you. :)

harpy
May 2nd, 2007, 10:53 AM
Thank you to all who have responded. I suppose it's about 80% in the delivery and 20% how many beers he's had before I tell him.

Sounds as if you've got the right idea :D

Acceptance is often just a matter of time really. My mother-in-law strangely was one of the people who seemed most anxious and baffled about my going vegan but now she seems to think it's quite a good thing and is always telling me about other vegans that she's met etc. Of course she hasn't actually gone vegan :rolleyes: but she does seem to eat a lot less animal matter than she did. So you never know...