View Full Version : where do you draw the line

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Jan 22nd, 2010, 07:36 PM
^That's much better than mine.:)

Jan 22nd, 2010, 07:44 PM
I'm glad you like it. But I can't really take credit for it ;)

Jan 27th, 2010, 04:10 AM
I just had a very awkward situation at work. I should not feel bad though as this person was the cause of it. I was sitting here at my security post and one of the factory workers walked by and asked if I would like some pizza that they ordered from take out that him and his co-workers ordered. I smiled and said no thank u i have my lunch here, but thank u for the offer. He kept insisting i take some. I kept saying no thank u in a polite voice. He finally was on his way, but he seemed shocked for some reason that i did not want free pizza. I thought this was the end of it.....

20 mintues later he comes to my desk with a huge plate of food. About 4-5 slices of pizza, some dairy looking desert, and some oranges. I politely tell him no thank u i have my own lunch. He leaves all of this at my desk and walks away.....Luckily (i thought) the night janitorial crew showed up and i offered them some food and they happily accepted. (i know the janitor loves pizza, and his wife is in the cleaning crew and they seem like they are trying so hard to make ends meet) and of course if he told me no 1 time i would not push it on him.....

then the guy that gave me the pizza in the first places comes to my desk again (i have no clue for what reason) and he see that i gave the pizza to the janitors and looks confused. I did eat the orange however which he saw....

I dont understand people like this. Do they think they are trying to be nice? ive heard stories about old fashioned families and grandmothers and stuff that guilt their kids/guests into eating like this and they grow up overweight. In a way i feel bad for the people for giving in and eating food when they dont want to, but people also need to stand up and say no. With my situation i did not accept the food, he put it on my desk and left...and i gave it away to someone who actually wanted it right away. If the janitor would have declined i would have tossed it unfortunately. I just dont understand people that keep pushing when someone says NO!

Jan 27th, 2010, 10:24 AM
I think they were just trying to be nice... in tehir own way... it might have helped if you explained why you would not eat the pizza. Some people don't see any problems with eating dairy, in fact they think it is good for you, the animals and the planet (What would happen to those poor cows if noone milked them?!)

Jan 27th, 2010, 11:13 AM
My post didnt really have anything to do with being vegan i guess. I did not even mention that because i dont want to get into a debate at work as im a contractor at a clients site and that would be really bad. I was just shocked at how many times i could tell someone NO and have them literally force the food upon me. I shouldnt even need to explain why i dont want the food. I guess maybe i will next time, but i would really like to avoid having to explain myself at work.

Feb 12th, 2010, 06:39 PM

Sounds sort of like my family and my mom in particular. She's very insistent that her guests should eat lots of food and fill guilt you into it talking about all the food that will go to waste if someone doesn't eat (though she certainly does her part to eat as much as possible). Of course, don't dare point out that she should stop buying so much -- especially since when complains about the food bills! I think she knows that I'm not going to eat anything non-vegan, though, and is careful not to directly challenge me on this, but there's still the jabs and guilt-tripping and passive-aggressive bullshit to put up with.


As far as the specific topic of this thread...

My husband and I went vegan diet-wise last November as an experiment in eating healthier (particularly for him), but quickly realized that this was something that we did want to do long term and that we wanted to expand it to the rest of our lives in order to further reduce suffering. And if we had any doubts, Earthlings sealed it for us.

We got rid of most of the obvious non-vegan food almost immediately, giving it to friends. A lot of the things we held out on soon found their way to friends, too. Fortunately, we didn't have a lot of stuff with long, hard to decipher ingredients lists, but we're trying to be good to check ingredients lists. If something could come from a vegan source, we try to give it the benefit of the doubt. Otherwise, if non-vegan ingredients are listed we avoid buying it even if it is just a little whey or honey.

We have two pet hens so we have eggs in our household but we give them to other people to eat instead of store-bought eggs. They make great barter materials, especially since we know some people with citrus trees :D We also have some kitties. They're not vegan and I haven't seen a lot of good evidence that they'd be very healthy going vegan, plus we've already paid some hefty vet bills trying to switch their food just to different brands, let alone diets, so we're leaving well enough alone for now.

We kept some honey originally, and even made an exception for some new honey since that was less of an issue for us, though we didn't end up eating any of it (at home at least) since going vegan and finally gave it away. I did have a salad with some dressing with honey in it, but I think that was the only honey we've had and we've been trying to avoid it since even though it's not something I normally grill waiters about. It's hard enough to find a waiter that knows, for example, that cheese is "dairy" and that sauces sometimes have eggs in them even if they don't see an egg sitting sunny-side-up on the plate. So, it's a battle not worth picking sometimes. We just try to avoid buying anything with it listed in the ingredients and if something was served to us with honey with the right intentions I'd eat it but maybe mention something politely if I could.

As far as the sugar & wine stuff... I care, I do, but not enough at this point do avoid it completely. With new stuff, I'll try to buy vegan when there's a decent choice and maybe I'll do more later. But right now I have to draw a line somewhere and that's it.

With clothes, I have so far avoided buying more animal products. For a moment it looked like we'd have to get some leather gloves for my husband because he had to do some work in the cold, needed something that would allow him to work very precisely, and he didn't have time to order something. Fortunately, we found some convertible mittens that became fingerless gloves.

We both have some animal product clothing. I think my fave scarf is silk and I have some cashmere gloves and a sweater. My only heavy winter jacket has some fur trim on the hood, but it's too expensive for me to justify replacing right now, especially as rarely as I need to wear it here in Florida. Then there are some leather bags and shoes. I love bags and shoes, so I have quite a collection, though I've been whittling it down for other reasons. I want to eventually replace them all with vegan alternatives, but 1. my most comfortable shoes are the leather ones (cheap non-leather shoes tend to do a number on my feet) and 2. I really like to have a lot of great shoe/bag choices and don't have the money in the budget to replace them all.

Finally, we still have some OTC meds and supplements that are non-vegan. At this point, I figure we'll just use them up and replace them, as necessary, with vegan ones when the time comes. Replacing them all now would just be too costly for us and doesn't make much sense for the sacrifice. But I know of a local herbal shop that has vegan capsules we can use to make our own pills. We even got a pill maker from there already.

So, there it is! Sorry for such a long post but it got me thinking a lot about things and where I want to go from here. Bottom line, though, I think there's always room for improvement and the important thing is that people try.

Feb 18th, 2010, 06:08 AM
In my case I stopped wearing/eating anything non-vegan the same dame I became vegan (at least what I thought vas non-vegan). Some people say it's difficult to change so many things, and needs to do small steps until becoming vegan. In my case it wasn't hard and it worked pretty well. Of course there were many things I didn't know but I found this forum which helped me a lot and made it even easier.
All my fur stuff I gave it to the poor people so I don't consider wasting it. Then I bought the vegan replacements, at least the more necessary ones.

But something happened to me a few months ago. I'm living in China and my level is still not very good so when I went to buy a new coat (I had to because the weather changed drastically) I checked the label many times reading "polyester" on it. I was surprised because it looked like wool in some parts. When I was wearing it I wasn't feeling comfortable because it looked like wool. I checked again the label and at the very end I saw a character saying "wool". I spend 50 in that coat but I really can't wear it. Even if people here don't know me and just a few know I'm vegan (they probably don't even realize what is it) I really can't wear it. I feel bad. So the coat is in my luggage without using it. I'm not going to throw it but I'll have to figure out what to do with it.

So in my case I just feel too bad to eat/wear something from animals. That doesn't mean I make mistakes, but when I realize I automatically stop eating/wearing them.

I'll have to be more careful next time :p

Feb 18th, 2010, 08:29 AM
I have some D3 supplements. D2 cannot be bought here.

The year I became vegan, my aunt sent me some milk chocolates for birthday, I ate one piece because I was sorry that she payed for it, but gave the rest to my SO and never ate milk chocolate again. I got a lot of milk chocolates from her in the last 6 years, but all have gone to my SO. Finally, I told her which 2 chocolates are vegan, and now she buys me tons of these chocolates.

Feb 18th, 2010, 01:43 PM
I am in the lucky position that I can actually genuinely claim lactose intolerance. Milk now makes me violently ill, as I found out recently after eating something at work and being told after that there was milk in it. That'll teach me! Although at least puking alot helped them realise not to do it again.

On another level, euw honey! I can't eat it and won't eat it...it's not vegan!

Feb 24th, 2010, 05:18 PM
Interesting the different things where people draw the line ..
Like if I'm going skipping I'll have no problems bringing back meat for others even though I don't eat it myself. Mostly I'll just trust if someone says it's vegan that it is, unless it's easy to check/obviously isn't, has meant there's been a couple 'accidents' where it wasn't but quite rarely tbh. But if I can I just don't want anything that's not vegan in my body, so I won't eat stuff like honey/D3 etc .. And when I was first vegan I would wear old shoes which happened to have small bits of leather etc on them, but got nice vegan shoes now :P

Feb 25th, 2010, 07:35 PM
Imagine the difficulties of trying trying to live both as a vegan and as an ultra orthodox Jew at the same time. You'd be continually deciding that something was/wasn't vegan, and then saying two seconds later 'On the other hand.......':eek:

I can't imagine it being any harder than being any other sort of vegan. I've actually heard that it's easier to go vegan in Israel than in the U.S. In fact, we used to have an Israeli place here that was VERY vegan-friendly. There were all sorts of vegan salads, dips/spreads, pita, falafel, and even vegan ice cream since they didn't use any dairy at all in the restaurant (easier to keep kosher that way).

Mar 12th, 2010, 10:26 PM
I try to be vegan as best I can....clothes, food, personal hygiene products etc.I make most of my food, but on occasion I go out to eat. I try my best to guess what food I eat will be vegan, but if bread has honey or the so called vegan cheese has casein, I am not going to freak out. All my friends, co-workers and family know I am vegan. If I was at their house for dinner and they served me obviously non vegan food, I'd decline...they know better.

The bottom line is I am doing my best to have as little impact on animals as I can. But I am also not going to freak out if I accidentally get some animal products in me.

Mar 13th, 2010, 02:50 PM
I'm a new vegan and as an incredibly poor vegan, it's just not financially feasable to replace all my wool and silk clothing as a lot of it cost a lot at the time. (Damn you expensive gothy finery) Most of my clothes are cotton, lace and synthetic velvet. Fortunately I gave up leather when I went vegetarian, so that's one thing I don't need to worry about. Thank goodness.
I don't feel bad about not throwing those things away, if people question it, I'll answer honestly. The damage was done when I paid for them, now I will use them until they need replacing.
However, I will refuse food and gifts that aren't vegan friendly from now on, hands down. I've made a commitment and no one will make me go back. My family and friends all understand though, so I doubt they'd be that callous.
So, that is my line.

I've been getting all my friends to eat all the Quorn left in the freezer, LOL! Luckily, no one cooks for me and I cook for every one else! XD! and they all say that I cook food so good that they'd happily eat vegan most days if I made it.

Mar 13th, 2010, 10:28 PM
Hi LysergicButterfly

What you say seems very sensible/reasonable to me but you're the one who needs to feel comfortable with your actions and I'm glad that you do. :thumbsup:
I have a pair of leather shoes that I bought in 1983, 12 years before I went vegan and I still wear them for holidays. The 'vegan police' want us to get rid of such items, after all 'what will the omnis think of us?' Cobblers to the omnis, sez I!:D


Mar 14th, 2010, 01:03 PM
Hi LysergicButterfly

What you say seems very sensible/reasonable to me but you're the one who needs to feel comfortable with your actions and I'm glad that you do. :thumbsup:
I have a pair of leather shoes that I bought in 1983, 12 years before I went vegan and I still wear them for holidays. The 'vegan police' want us to get rid of such items, after all 'what will the omnis think of us?' Cobblers to the omnis, sez I!:D


Wow! 1983! They don't make shoes like that these days! lol XD! I just see no point in throwing or giving items away when I need to keep warm and am living on very little money, it's wasteful and foolish on my part.

Well...the difference between people like you and I, who have kept pregan items and an Omni, is the fact that we're actually trying to improve the lives of animals and the environment. All a person can do is try their best, how can they belittle us over such petty things when they're not even bothered in the slightest? so yes! Cobblers to the omnis! :D

Shepherd Mom
Mar 19th, 2010, 08:56 PM
I donated and gave to friends my silk blouses, wool sweaters, and leather shoes. I still have a leather checkbook cover that I haven't replaced (with a photo of a wolf on it, from Defender's of Wildlife, hello!) and I just realized last night that I still have one skirt with 17% wool in it. My puppy decided to help me out with the shoes and chewed up two pairs (I'm sure she thought they were rawhide!) I too feel sickened when I see someone wearing leather or fur, regardless of whether it's real or not. I don't eat any animal products and hate it when I slip up and realize something I ate contains animals ingredients. I have become so careful about researching the products and foods that I buy. I don't feed my dog a vegan diet although I do sometimes make her vegan doggie snacks. My husband is an omni and I don't cook or buy animal products for him.

Mar 19th, 2010, 09:39 PM
I only have one pair of leather shoes left and they are nearing the bin days....I decided to use my (very small amount of) animal clothing until I could replace it with veggie stuff...to be honest I feel kinda sick wearing the skin of another animal but at least it reminds me why I decided to go vegan..

Mar 23rd, 2010, 02:04 PM
After becoming vegan, I picked up a pair of vegan Sauconys to wear as everyday shoes but did not have the money to invest in vegan running shoes. They are the only non-vegan item I am using up until they totally split apart--though, I feel a little ill and and saddened every time I jog in them. Even an old pair of Doc Marten workboots (which I wore for 3 labor-intensive summer jobs and still have life in them) I stopped wearing. I got a corduroy wallet from my fiancee as a gift, and a non-leather-band watch to replace my old one--and after seeing how easy and obvious it was to not use animal products, I had a wave of guilt pass over me. "Why have I not being doing this the whole time?" I inquired of myself. Those semi-suede running shoes remind me every time I wear them that in looking to promote veganism I must not forget compassion and understanding when dealing with someone who has not come to the realization yet.

I draw the line somewhere between utility and emotions--I do not want to waste items, but there are some that simply make me too ill to look at anymore.

Mar 24th, 2010, 07:07 AM
My husband is an omni and I don't cook or buy animal products for him.

Another reason I wont cook meat is the fact that as I have never cooked it, I feel like there is a high chance I would make someone ill. I'm not having that on my conscience.

Mar 26th, 2010, 08:29 AM
How could one have a friend that gives him or her gifts, yet not know she or he is a vegan?

Mar 26th, 2010, 09:32 AM
Well, not friends, but relatives. It took me years to explain to my aunt that I don't eat milk chocolates. In the end I just gave her names of two chocolates I do eat, and every time she comes, she brings me 5 bars of each :)

Mar 26th, 2010, 03:03 PM
I run into that problem with customers at work. They usually know I'm vegan, but don't understand what that means. I'm the only employee here and my boss is away right now. One of our customers brings in treats every week. I gave away a whole box of dunkin donuts munchkins yesterday. A guy came in wanting to use the phone, pretending his car had broken down, but I'm pretty sure he was homeless based on the phone conversation. He was overjoyed to take the box of donuts. She brought bagels once, that I could actually eat. I wish she'd always do that... It's hard to say, "thanks but I'm not going to eat those" when she brings donuts. I just say, "awww[my boss] will be happy!"

May 11th, 2010, 08:29 AM
I won't eat animal products even it's someone's gift for me.
I agree with VeganLu that all my friends knew I'm vegan so they won't ever buy me something non-vegan as presents.
But I sometimes get made just looking at others eating animal products, therefore I wish I can separate my meals from theirs. I don't mind cooking for them as long as they don't mind eating non-animal foods.
Therefore my line in dream would be everyone who eats me would eat vegan with me, or just simply not eating together.

May 18th, 2010, 12:29 PM

May 18th, 2010, 12:54 PM
I keep it simple. I just decline the offer of an invitation to dinner at the home of meat eaters. I would feel funny if the host or hostess made a special dinner for me and my husband. However, everyone who visits us at our home always brings us vegan treats like muffins and cookies, even though they are not vegan. I think that is so "sweet" of them, no pun intended. :D