Feelings on breastfeeding

[herbwormwood]

A private members bill went through the English parliament yesterday to make it illegal for businesses to forbid women breastfeeding. Apparently many women have been told not to when out in eateries and so on.
Unfortunately private members bills don't make it into law.

[absentmindedfan]

If anyone stops me breastfeeding when I have kids they'll get a good kicking. It's the most natural thing in the world, they only reason people are funny about it is because we have such a weird attitude to sex and women in this country. Breasts are for feeding babies *and* sexual purposes. Being a mother and a sexual being aren't mutually exclusive.

[twinkle]

I don't plan to have any children, but if I did I would breastfeed if at all possible, and would express milk for them to have during daycare if I went back to work. I picked the first option because I didn't see the "don't plan on having kids" one until after I clicked :)

[herbwormwood]

Apparently this woman went to a restaurant and ordered a 4 course meal for herself and her family. She only ate the first course and they asked them to leave as they did not approve of her breastfeeding, and billed them for the 4 courses. It was on Radio 4 Today Programme.

[kriz]

I would personally not feel comfortable nursing in public, that's just the way I am, but I think I should have the right to do so if I choose to. I can see how some might feel slightly unfomfortable with it (after all people will always have different feelings about anything body related and we can't dictate someone's thoughts and emotions), but I definitely can't understand how in any way it can be seen as offensive and something that should be agaisnt the law in public places... now, that's a little scary!:confused:

[Seaside]

I agree kriz. I also probably wouldn't run around in public topless, but it makes me very angry that it is illegal for women, but not for men. There's nothing indecent about a woman's body, especially when she is using it to feed her child.

[satirecafe]

I believe that it is only natural to breastfeed your children, and I think it's disgusting that people feed their children milk meant for the development of calves. it's crazy.

[herbwormwood]

It is indeed natural to breastfeed babies, and bizarre to stigmatise it and make it seem a minority "choice".
Also bizarre to make feeding of another species milk the norm rather than something done on occasion out of necessity, but modern western culture has turned the adult female breast away from its natural function, and into a fashion accessory.

[Soul Rebel]

Our son is breastfed, he just turned one last month. We don't plan to stop anytime soon either. My wife is so passionate about breastfeeding she opened up Mother Nurture.

[Nancekuke]

Breastfeeding my now 19-month-old was actually one of the things that pushed me from ovo-lacto to vegan - it just felt wrong to be drinking/eating cows' milk products and thinking of the calves separated from their mothers :(.

He's still a boobaholic now and showing no signs of wanting to stop anytime soon, which is fine by me! :)

[Seaside]

Hehe Nancekuke! "Boobaholic" :p

[pat sommer]

How in the heck do those bra-wearing women handle the 'stimulation'? Darn, they must be over-sensitive. And ya, I got bit- A LOT. She had a funny little snapping-turtle reflex when I slipped out after feeds. teeth at 4 months.

[emmapresley]

i have two ACE daughters..now aged 12 and 9..with my oldest girl i had a difficult and rushed induced labour and felt i didn't get the support in the days following her birth to breastfeed successfully. I persevered for several weeks only :( before dad rushed out to buy some formula and after a few ounces guzzled down her cheeks visibly flushed and she slept for the longest period since being born. I wasn't happy with my decision and felt quite strongly for some time that I'd 'failed'.

I have to say the first few weeks after her birth, having very little sleep and simply not knowing how to calm a screaming baby through the night because I just couldn't work out how to feed her was terrible..with sore nipples :( ..not a laughing matter!!! just rubbish when your partner is snoring his head off asleep and you're so utterly knackered and feeling like a failure.

My second daughter I had absolutely no problems with..i LOVED breastfeeding her..just adored it and was reluctant to stop when she was about 18 months old. I also feel really strongly that even though we are a close little unit, the bond with my youngest daughter is quite intense. I'm sure there are a whole load of contributory factors..personality..age..all that stuff, but I'd be naive if I thought those 18 months of intimate breastfeeding played no part.

Now my oldest daughter is the one who would happily gorge on meat, crappy sweets and all bad food..makes a fuss about eating veg..and generally kicks off about 'freaky veganism'..and the little one is an eager vegetarian..not far off from being vegan apart from eggs basically..so I wonder if the choices they're making now are reflected in how they fed as babies milk-wise.

They act a bit like Horrid Henry and Perfect Peter but in girl form! :D
(but I'm not supposed to say that *ahem*)

I haven't voted in the poll as I think there are a few choices that're applicable and I'm just dithering about which one to choose.

[Woodsie]

Rightly or wrongly, I chose not to breastfeed either of my children, mainly because I wouldn't feel at all comfortable breastfeeding infront of absolutely anybody. I don't think my children have suffered at all from my choice (they are now 23 and 21). The thing that really p****d me off though was the comments from total strangers and other mothers - all assuming I couldn't breast feed and looking down their noses when I told them I chose not to. I may not have breastfed my kids but I made all their meals from scratch (no jars for them) and they had no packaged or sugared food. When they went to pre-school / school their lunchboxes were packed with wholemeal sandwiches with healthy fillings with lots of fresh/dried fruit and raw veggies, whilst the kids of the'do gooders'' who had criticised me for not breastfeeding were chomping away on white bread, chips and lollies. My son (about 6 at the time) once asked for a salad in his lunchbox which I happily provided - when asked if he would like another salad the following day he replied 'no thank you - I liked the salad yesterday but all the other kids laughed at me' Whilst there's no doubt that breast is best, it should be the basis of healthy nutrition throughout life and not just for the first 6-12 months or so.

[drunkenunicorn]

thats what your boobs are for. children do not have functioning immune systems until they reach one year. the purpose of breastfeeding isn't just giving nutrients to your baby, its giving your immune antibodies to your baby until he/she/zee makes their own.

[moonshadow]

Now my oldest daughter is the one who would happily gorge on meat, crappy sweets and all bad food..makes a fuss about eating veg..and generally kicks off about 'freaky veganism'..and the little one is an eager vegetarian..not far off from being vegan apart from eggs basically..so I wonder if the choices they're making now are reflected in how they fed as babies milk-wise.



i'm not so sure about this logic. my mother nursed me until i was 10 months old. she says i just quit one day, which is possible, as she was pregnant with my sister, and sometimes that happens.

she nursed my sister until she was three years old.


we were raised vegetarian. however, out of the house, i continually refused people's offers of meat, while my sister begged it off of them!

at about 15 years old i became vegan. around that point my sister was only vegetarian at home. away from home she was very omnivorous.


my daughter is almost 2 1/2 and she still nurses most days, usually only once, occasionally a bit more. i don't think that my nursing her will be a part of her decisions when it comes to animal products outside the home. i hope that the things we teach her will guide her along a similar path as the one we've taken, but there are no guarantees.



kudos to all who breastfeed.

for those who didn't or won't or can't, i know that you're doing what you find is best for your children, either from the basis of a choice or because you've had to find something else to do because breastfeeding didn't work. kudos to you for doing what you felt best.

[Woodsie]

thats what your boobs are for, freak. children do not have functioning immune systems until they reach one year. the purpose of breastfeeding isn't just giving nutrients to your baby, its giving your immune antibodies to your baby until he/she/zee makes their own.

Maybe so but i would not be comfortable flopping them out in public like many folk to .. each to their own. My children were/are just as healthy as any others ... I'd like to know what makes you an expert at 24 years old. You neglected to tell us about your own experience .... how many children have you raised for example?

[pat sommer]

Does raising children make one an expert in immunology or microbiology?

There was so much I didn't know About breast milk until recently; so much only now coming out about longterm effects of formula feeding. I don't want to get down on mothers for damaging their kids; hell, one way or other kids grow up blaming us for damaging them!

[cobweb]

^ agreed! ;)

I breastfed my son for 9 months but I also gave him solid food very early as he was sooooooooo hungry. Wish I hadn't done that now :o .

Drunkenunicorn are you/have you been a breastfeeding mother?. Also, calling someone a 'freak' is very hurtful :( .

[BlackCats]

I think breastfeeding is supposed to be better obviously, but I used to work with teenage mums and some women find it very difficult and painful.

It doesn't help when people say how natural it is because some women just don't take to it naturally and feel pressurised into trying it. This can lead to feelings of failure if they don't do it.

I really take offence when anyone says that women should go into a bathroom or whatever to breastfeed as if it is something pornographic or offensive, I think it is a sad reflection on society and the role of women in it.

[Woodsie]

Thank you Aphrodite..... I agree with everything you say. It is a sad reflection on society that women should hide away to feed their babies, however, in this day and age I think the majority think of breasts in a sexual way first and a tool for feeding babies second. I notice one of Drunkenunicorn's interests is 'tits' ... I rest my case.

[holly99]

I've been breastfeeding my daughter for 10 weeks, all her life. I'll whip 'em out when and wherever I feel the need to and the last place anyone would find me is hiding in a bathroom or anywhere else uncomfortable. I'll do it in the car if it's a nice day and not too hot. My first two were also breastfed but that was 12 years ago. The first for a year the second for 6 months. I am enjoying this time so much more (as with most things as we get older) and hope to do better than a year, unless she decides otherwise.

It is PC to breastfeed now, but if you saw some of the looks I get...you'd never know it.

[drunkenunicorn]

sorry about calling you a freak. i didn't mean to offend anybody. i meant 'freak' in a teasing, joking tone. i forget its hard to translate tone in written form. i guess thats what these silly faces are for :). its true one of my interests says tits. i put 'tits' in my interests because it was funny. but seriously? breasts rock. they're the most obvious and most perfect part of being a female: the ability to nourish life from your body. it looks like the milk flows out from your heart. I think thats really amazing and beautiful.

i learned about how infants dont have immune systems until one year old in the pregnancy and breastfeeding section of my human sexuality class in SFSU. (i studied physiology). when i found out about that, I was really mad because my mom weaned me at 6 months!!

my best friend is currently nursing her first born. she had to go to 'La Leche League' to get help because Burroughs(the baby) didn't want to nurse. La Leche League is a really good resource. they help with legal cases too. did you know that the average length of breastfeeding is 4.2 years worldwide? isn't that amazing? its a shame western culture sexualizes the breasts so much. its hard to break away from the stigma that breasts are dirty and something to be embarassed of. they shouldn't be ignored or sexualized. they're there for a reason. i'm glad its becoming more PC to breastfeed now. its about time. ignore other people's looks. some people are so out of touch.

[pat sommer]

It's certainly not natural, Aphrodite, in our culture today. We don't grow up with it like watching mum make chappati or dad drive the car: we are all starting from scratch. Wish more stories of difficulty starting breast-feeding were known (hate those smiling books). I had a rotten start and was pressured to go onto the bottle; dug my heals in, cried alot and didn't cave in. With all the discouragement around ( La Leche helped some) I remember the words of an old friend '98% of mothers can, successfully, but there is a lag in the body catching up to baby's needs'. The lesson is persevere persevere persevere. The only failure is giving up.

[BlackCats]

Drunkenunicorn - I didn't think you meant 'freak' in a negative way but I think its true that words typed can be mistaken. I have said things on the forum and have had people retort as if they thought I meant what I said was aggressive when I only meant to be vehement.

I think we all agree that mothers have a difficult job anyway with a lot of pressure and very little thanks.

It seems to me in UK society women have to have a fab figure four weeks after giving birth, be adept at breastfeeding whilst maintaining the perfect home and garden as well as having a great fulfilling career and God knows what else.
All this pressure leads to competitiveness and feelings of inadequacy.