View Full Version : Transitioning with pre-teen & meat eating DH

Aug 2nd, 2013, 03:20 AM
We are making the transition to veganism and Im having some issues. My 10 year old is being a little resistant to no dairy and eggs. Mainly its when we are out of the house which has been a lot this summer, especially when we are eating with non vegan friends. Another example, tonight we were talking about what to do during school when the teacher offers him candy, or its someones birthday and there is cupcakes. I suggested Id bring in some candy at the start of school that he can pick out and we could give it to the teacher to have on hand. For birthday's Id bring in a vegan cupcake. He said he'd be embarrassed. That makes me sad for more reasons than one. We talked about how he should be proud that he is doing the right thing for the animals, the environment, and his heath. And that it would be an opportunity to educate his classmates. He's not a very outgoing guy and does not like to stand out so this was not appealing to him. I realize pre teens are at a very selfish age but how do I get him to enjoy the good hes doing and not focus on the things hes missing out on? I want this to be a positive experience so he will continue to make these choices for the rest of his life.

Are there any good Youtube videos (or similar) that show the farm industry but that are not too violent?

Also, my husband is understanding to the situation and has limited his meat/dairy/egg consumption to outside our home only. I suppose thats because I do the shopping and cooking. ;) I am however concerned how my children will see this. Why does dad choose to ignore the suffering animals?

Last question, is there another "accidentally vegan" list other than the one on the PETA website? Pictures are so helpful! :D


Aug 3rd, 2013, 08:41 AM
Hi, welcome to the forum!

It's great that you are going vegan and transitioning your family. However I would advise to take your 10 year old's concerns into consideration and not write them off as 'selfish'. It is hard to be an introverted child and kids are notoriously insensitive to those who are different. At 10 years old your son has to want to be vegan for himself, which is obviously different to transitioning a smaller child. The reality is that other kids will comment on your son being different if he is vegan at school so he needs to have the determination in himself do deal with that.

I am not sure about videos but there is animal rights information aimed at children on the peta kids website and there is also a youth section on AnimalAid.

Aug 4th, 2013, 06:07 PM
Hello - I'm not a parent but I agree with Blueberries, I think he's old enough to choose for himself when someone else is providing the food, and so the best you can do is give him the information and hope he will take it on board. Taking the line that big people must make their own decisions might help them understand why you and your husband think differently (a bit, at any rate).

Of course, the fact that you shop and cook and eat vegan yourself will communicate a message about how strongly you feel, so once the pressure is off maybe your son will think about things and decide to be vegan as well. And I'm sure positive reinforcement when he makes a vegan choice will help.

pat sommer
Aug 6th, 2013, 06:13 PM
You'll do fine.

Very well said, all above. Since the goal is long-term, one cupcake more or less won't change the world much as it makes us cringe.
The candy idea is great: having a teacher supply to reward/substitute for your son and perhaps any of the class if that's in the budget.
Art supplies too are appreciated: my daughter's class was scheduled for leather working, feather-filled basket with egg dying, beeswax batik...

Sure made me a lot more involved than I had planned. Even did a veggieburger cooking class -hands on- in groups of 8 over a couple days. Finding out which kids have allergies/sensitivities and being inclusive for them takes the focus away from the one vegan in class.

Good luck with the transition!