When it came time to kill the pig, I could NOT do it

[Redneck_gal]

HI I am new to the Forum and I have a few questions. I am not looking for a fight, I am curious for some input about feelings I have been having. Please read all the way through the post before judging.

I grew up in east Texas, with redneck ways, it was no big deal to hunt, fish, ride horses etc. Now as an adult I have continued everything I grew up with. I hog hunt on horseback with dogs. The team of dogs sniff around miles of woods until they smell a hog, then they chase it, and catch it (hold it by the ears) until I can come hog tie it. Then you drag it out of the woods and go clean it.
Now I am NOT saying this to be morbid, I am giving you some background, so please keep reading. I am a 23 year old woman, and it never ever occurred to me that there was anything wrong with this, hunting has always been a passion for me. But this last weekend, we caught a young hog and brought it home for cleaning, when it came time to kill the pig, I could NOT do it. I could not shoot it, or slit its throat, something I have done so many times and never thought about. That night when they were bbq'ing the hog, I could not eat a bite, in fact it made me sick to think about it. Tuesday was the last day I could hunt in the national forrest, and normally I would have taken off work to get one more hunt in, but instead, I could not even get the want to to go. I dont understand what changed, I dont understand why I am feeling this way, but the thought of eating anymore animals makes me sick. I Could not even eat chicken strips for lunch today, and I have raised and eaten so many chickens in the past.
Could this be the start of what may be a total life change??? I can not talk to anyone in my life about this, because they would think I was crazy. I dont know how i would even make this life change because my whole life in centered around hunting, fishing, riding etc.
I Am confused, and I guess I want some input from someone who might have made this change in the past, going from as extreme as I was, to being the total other extreme. Is it possible??

Please dont attack me, I am truly seeking some input, and you have to take into consideration where I am coming from. Since I was a toddler I was taught this lifestyle, and my four year old has already shot his first deer, and loves huntin. Where I am from it is just life. BUt I am not so sure I want it anymore HELP!!!

Confused in Texas

[snivelingchild]

I understand where you are coming from. It is completely natural to not think anything bad of what you grew up with, but I think it's great that you are taking what you do into consideration! Now you can take this oppertunity to take a look at these things and make a conscious decision about what you want to do in your life.

I think you should take some time away from these activities and those who do them and do some real soul searching, which can do you some real good and help you discover yourself.

The most important thing I want to say is whatever you think and feel is YOURS, and your ethics should never be influenced by others opinions of them. Put the opinions of others out of your mind. This is YOUR life, not theirs.

I'm willing to talk, as I'm sure many ohers here are, so feel free to PM me or discuss openly in this thread how you are feeling (though the administrator might feel more comfortable putting this thread into another section, but don't worry about that).

Please tell me, do you know how exactly you feel differently? Maybe you are questioning your value of non-human animal life? Please feel free to describe how you feel.

It is completely natural to not want to take place in ending an innocent life. :) I hope you discover whatever hidden part of you is coming out!

[Korn]

I dont understand why I am feeling this way, but the thought of eating anymore animals makes me sick.
Millions of people feel it that way...

But I am not so sure I want it anymore HELP!!!
Hi, it looks to me that you (everything in you but your old habits - but they are not 'you', and everything but the people you are surrounded by - but they are not 'you' either).... it seems you are pretty sure that you don't want it - not based on some books you have read, but on personal experience, which is much stronger and deeper than agreeing with some well-spoken person...

[eve]

Hi Redneck_gal - you say that you want some input from someone who might have made this change in the past, going from as extreme as you were, to being the total other extreme. Is it possible?

Yes it certainly is, and I know of people who experimented on animals for years, who became animal protectionists. The following is is a website of someone calling himself the mad cowboy, though Howard Lyman is far from mad. http://www.madcowboy.com/ - do read carefully, as we have read your thoughtful posting.

Good luck.

[PinkFluffyCloud]

Hi, Redneck Gal. :)

I was born and raised in the countryside, and most of the people I grew up with were Hunters, Shooters and Fishers. I have (Fox) Hunted myself on horseback, been a 'Beater' at a Pheasant shoot, gone Fishing, and worked in the horse-racing industry. :( I always had an affinity with animals, but I was doing what was 'normal' within the World I had been brought up in. I must say that I enjoyed the Countryside but did not actually kill any animals myself, and felt ambivalent about those who did.

It was the experiences I had in this 'Little World' that finally convinced me that all the above things, in fact any cruelty atall, was just that, cruelty, and therefore very wrong. I turned Vegetarian as a teenager and gradually turned my life around. :)

In fact I ended up actually sabbing the very hunts that I had once personally known, and my experiences made me all the wiser!. ;)

I cannot condemn you outright, therefore, for your lifestyle, but it makes me feel quite ill to think that I had anything to do with some of these activities. :o Maybe, though, everything in life serves to teach us something. :confused:

:) It would be lovely to think you would now change and embrace the life around you with compassion and reverance. I really hope you stay around and that you come to the right decisions for you and your son. :)

[Artichoke47]

I say listen to your mind, your heart and stop eating animals and stop killing animals. I think humans are ingrained with the thought that it is morally wrong and barbaric to kill and eat animals (and further confine them and cause their deaths by stealing their milk and eggs).

[feline01]

It's hard to turn your back on something that is considered a "normal" part of your culture but always remember, torture and murder shouldn't be considered normal. As easy as it is for many of your friends and family to murder a hog, in some countries, it's that easy to murder a dog or cat and in other countries, it's just that easy to murder a human. Like others said, look into your heart and you will feel what's right.

Also, read through that Mad Cowboy link, Howard Lyman is an inspiration to many.

Good luck.

[spo]

Dear Redneck GaL
Your post was compelling and I was moved. I think you had a true inspirational moment-one that does not come often. Dare I say it- you were touched by a Divine Inspiration?

I agree with Feline01 and the others who have posted. However, there are some strong issues you must consider if you intend to change to a Vegan lifestyle: If your husband, son and other children are hunters and meat-eaters, how would they react if you choose to stop eating meat and hunting? Are there any other family members or close friends, who would be sympathetic to your new feelings, that you could confide in? Can you talk to your husband as frankly and eloquently as you have done here with us? Would he become angry and defensive, if you tried a meatless diet on your own? Would you be isolated by the family or your friends if you changed your lifestyle? These are just some of the issues that occur to me that may face you, now. I don't want to discourage you--quite the contrary, but you must face all of the philosophical and practical dilemmas before you jump in completely.
Try to read some books on these issues. I strongly recommend the books of Vegetarian author Carol J. Adams- www.triroc.com/caroladams/. She addresses a lot of these problems. Actually, she is located in Dallas, and her husband is a minister there. You might consider writing to her for advice and enlisting help from her husband's ministry.
Also go to www.sentientbeings.org and read the Notable Quotables section to find many great thinkers who embraced Vegetarian/Animal Compassion views.
Do keep in touch with us on this site, and let us know what happens. I speak for everyone here when I say we will be here for you.
God Bless
Love-Spo :)

[Redneck_gal]

Wow, thanks guys I really expected a lot of anger towards me and I was worried. As far as talking to people in my life, it is not really an option. They are good people, but they would think of me as a fruitcake that has lost her mind if I were to tell them any of this. That is why I feel so worried about these new feelings. I dont know how it will effect my husbands and my relationship when so much of our lives is centered around this lifestyle. I think it will have to be one step at a time, I know I will NOT be able to eat anything else that we have killed, I dont even want it in the freezer. I dont know how I am going to cook meals anymore with dead animals in it.

I will read the links you gave me and look into the books you suggested also. Maybe I can get a clearer view of what is forming in my mind.
Thank you though for being understanding, I really needed compassion, not anger.

I will keep you posted on this and how it turns out. For now though, my only outlet will be right here on the computer, where it is safe.

Amanda

[feline01]

You're always welcome here. This is a very welcoming place for people who are vegan, interested in becoming vegan or have legitimate questions regarding veganism.

BTW: I was ovo-lacto vegetarian when I met my husband (I ate eggs and dairy) and he was an omnivore who loved his red meat. Steak & 4-egg omelettes for breakfast, huge burgers-anything dead. He's been vegan for over 2 years now. His decision, he actually went vegan before me. It was a slow process (we've been married almost 8 years) but he got to the point where he learned "too" much and couldn't go back to his previous ways. Education is the key, for both yourself and your loved ones.

[VeganMan]

when it came time to kill the pig, I could NOT do it

These are perfectly normal feelings, I believe everyone has them as a child; they're part of you conscience.

In places where life is all about killing animals, children are taught how to "turn off" these feelings so they can fit in; basically brainwashed. Sounds like what happened is your conscience broke through the brainwashing.

I wish I could give you an easy solution, but there isn't one. Giving up meat was a very hard thing for me, and I live near New York City; for you it's going to be much harder.

I think the first thing you need to do is solidify your feelings, make sure that you're truly ready to commit before you do anything irreversible. If you reach a point where your absolutely sure you can't live the life you grew up with and your fully willing and able to face the repercussions of change; then and only then should you begin to make the necessary changes, your conscience will be your guide.

I wish you the best of luck!

[Mystic]

Veganman, I totally agree with you. My boyfriend's cousin, who is 7, went fishing with his parents and got very upset when he saw the fish struggling. He was told that it was 'okay' and they soothed him, making him think that it was okay, and then he was able to eat it.

[tails4wagging]

Redneck Gal, You are in a difficult position amongst 'corpes' eaters.

What would be said to you, from your hubby, if you showed him this thread?.
He would then see, what your worries are about and the reason you cannot talk to him about it. If he loves you enough he should support you.

[coney]

Hi Texas Redneck Gal,
Things are changing. Massive numbers of people are coming to the realization that we cannot keep killing off other beings on this planet. Aggression and violence are being questioned and violence against animals "does not resonate" with certain people. It takes some folks years to come to this realization, others it takes about a minute. I know plenty of people who went through the same kind of realization you did. They hunted all their life, or loved to go fishing, but can no longer kill an animal and eat it. "Something just happened. I don't know. I just can't eat fish anymore." [shrugs shoulders]

(okay, now for some wacky sounding stuff, but I'm not nuts, just explaining what I understand to be going on from what I've read and seen...)
We are all here together on Earth. We all help balance out nature. We're all made of the same energy and breathe the same air, and drink the same water--Humans and animals alike--and it just plain doesn't make sense (to many) to kill other beings anymore (in wars, or for food). The energy frequency of the Earth is rising, and violence/killing/aggression doesn't go with the higher energies. You'll start to see things changing slowly so our thoughts and actions are more compassionate then they were before. Whether it's holding the door open for someone, or letting a fly loose that's stuck in your house, or not supporting the massive meat industries (or not hunting), just keep your eyes peeled and your ears open, you'll see that things are changing.

I've got a friend that went vegetarian after she swatted a fly. It didn't die, but she felt so awful (first time in her life) for this fly, that she decided she couldn't be mean to animals anymore. She's been off meat for 6 months now, with a few slip ups, but she's made the decision to stop bringing pain to beings on earth wherever she can in her life.

I love this phrase and you should start using it if someone asks you why you're not eating the BBQ "Animals are my friends, and I don't eat my friends." George Bernard Shaw