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seviya
Apr 14th, 2006, 04:43 AM
Hallo all! I'm very excited to have just joined the forum! :)

After a big-time ephiphany (aided by Fast Food Nation), I've been a happy vegan for (all of) six months. I'm not preachy, but at family get-togethers and at school (I'm a law student), the fact that I don't eat meat, dairy, or eggs sometimes comes up. Now, I don't give a flying patootie about what other people think about me, or about my choices - but sometimes (and you all know what I mean) I want to totally slap someone silly with my response. The old "raising and slaughterhouse conditions, animals are our friends, health concerns, and general ickiness" just sometimes doesn't fly!! I know these are good reasons, but to someone who isn't vegan, such reasons rarely make any sense! Plus they usually raise the "vegan preacher" defenses, and the people refuse to listen to a word. :(

So here's my question: do any of you have any fantastic, witty comebacks for the annoying dork who sometimes sneers, "You don't eat meat?" or the equivalent, "What are you, some kind of freak?"

Happily, these situations only come across once in a blue moon, but boy would I love to be able to snap back when they do! Childish, I know, but we've all been there! So best wishes to all, and thank you for your thoughts!!!

:) seviya

mophoto
Apr 14th, 2006, 09:11 AM
while most can appreciate my decision, i have lost a ton of weight and am back to my happy yet cynical self, i still get the question of calcium, protein, iron blah .... when people actually care, i give them a definition of what i eat (greens are so high in calcium) but usually i ask them if they know what their intake of calcium, protein, and iron is. that usually shuts them up. if it doesn't i go into the junk they eat that i don't, fast food is so easy to rip apart.

mophoto
Apr 14th, 2006, 09:13 AM
that wasn't witty at all:)
let's here some

Seaside
Apr 14th, 2006, 09:25 AM
I remember when a troll came here and asked for money to stop him from eating meat, and I told him on the contrary, I would hate to see the colostomy bag industry go bankrupt on account of lack of colon cancer patients, so keep on eating! He was a nasty troll though, and the whole thread got deleted.:( :D

Seaside
Apr 14th, 2006, 09:28 AM
I can't remember the thread its on, but to those who claim that plants feel pain, I told someone to say "Let's make a deal. If you promise to watch a video of what goes on in a slaughterhouse, I'll watch a video of a strawberry harvest." I remember a few folks liking that one. :o

treehugga
Apr 14th, 2006, 09:40 AM
I like those Seaside.

I'm not very good at witty comebacks, I usually just say if you don't want me to lecture you on eating meat don't lecture me.

I wish I could think of soemthing funny to say.

Klutz
Apr 14th, 2006, 01:03 PM
I still love this answer I got off this forum or another (can't remember for sure):

Idiot: So, then what DO you eat?!
Me: Anything that doesn't take a dump.

I LOVE that one about the strawberry harvest! I'm going to have to remember that one! :D

veganbikerboy
Apr 14th, 2006, 01:45 PM
I was at a works Christmas meal, when a guy at the other end of the table shouted over the top of everybody "are u sure you don't want some of my juicy steak rather than those veges"

silence

i replied "i hope you enjoy the heart disease that comes as a compulsory desert"

I then raised a toast to the guy's heart disease:D

fortunatley, everybody laughed with me at him:)

ducksgomoo2
Apr 14th, 2006, 06:32 PM
This one's not very witty, but I've used it a couple of times.

Mr. Annoying: Why don't you eat meat?
Me: Probably the same reasons you don't eat human.

Caution! This usually leads to the infamous "but animals don't have feelings" or the "but animals are raised for food" comment

pat sommer
Apr 14th, 2006, 06:53 PM
.... if you are healthy/young and a braggart: I don't eat meat 'cause I prefer a violent death; (choose one) I will be shot by a jealous husband at 80/ I am so healthy they will have to beat me to death with sticks/ I will drown racing my grandkids across the lake

the rest of my comebacks would probably get censored. I have a domain name sandmonkey.info where (if and when) I will list and pliagerise all good responses!

absentmindedfan
Apr 14th, 2006, 07:48 PM
How about 'get outta my sight you ignorant dickweed before I jam my fist in your eye'
Always works for me :)

tabitha
Apr 14th, 2006, 07:54 PM
How about 'get outta my sight you ignorant dickweed before I jam my fist in your eye'
Always works for me :)

I like it....subtle and eloquent;)

feral
Apr 14th, 2006, 07:55 PM
lololol love those pat sommer!

I told my friend if anyone asked me why I was vegan with that narky tone to their voice I would simply fix them with the hard stare and reply "because I like to feel superior".. mind you it has to be done with the hard 'I'm not 100% pacifist' stare.

DancingWillow
Apr 14th, 2006, 08:02 PM
Seaside, I really like the strawberry harvest comeback :)

I remember someone on this forum sharing this one: they asked if the food had dairy in it, and the waiter/waitress said, "Are you lactose intolerant?" and the VF member said, "No, I'm cruelty intolerant!" I love that one :D

sugarmouse
Apr 14th, 2006, 09:21 PM
love them all! i havent ever lost an argument.or had one come to think of that.only idiots tend to argue.
meat ad dairy eating is just lunacy to me.and i can rip ppl to bits abotu it easily .cos i know it is right.

i

seviya
Apr 14th, 2006, 09:45 PM
These are absolutely wonderful!!!!! I can't wait to use them!! heehee I especially love the one about not eating things that take poos and also the one about not eating humans. People can be so unbelievably blind!!!!!! But we already know that.

Please keep them coming, I love this!!!!!! :)

Klutz
Apr 15th, 2006, 12:57 AM
Got this one from someone when I told him the strawberry harvest one.

Idiot: Don't you think that plants have feelings, too...that they feel pain?
Someone: Are you asking me because you deeply care about plants or because you want to make me wrong to justify eating your meat?

treehugga
Apr 17th, 2006, 06:31 AM
I like that. I will memorise it every day cuase unfortunatly I know I'll get a chance to use it.

This thread is really helpful, I feel so disempowered by others negativity sometimes. It's nice to have a comeback.

laurin
Apr 17th, 2006, 11:05 PM
Got this one from my boyfriend when I told him the strawberry harvest one.

Idiot: Don't you think that plants have feelings, too...that they feel pain?
Mr. Wonderful: Are you asking me because you deeply care about plants or because you want to make me wrong to justify eating your meat?

I get asked that alot too, I usually say "Because they don't have a heart!":rolleyes:

Russ
Apr 17th, 2006, 11:58 PM
I usually go with "gee, I thought the Holocaust was a bad thing."

pat sommer
Apr 18th, 2006, 10:20 AM
When asked about being vegan I sometimes invoke family: "because my great-great-grandmother was vegan, Eve; she was also a nudist, mind if I take my clothes off?" for the holier-than-thou types, you know them!

Korn
Apr 18th, 2006, 10:38 AM
Mr. Wonderful: Are you asking me because you deeply care about plants or because you want to make me wrong to justify eating your meat?

:)

I wonder what people who equal killing of plants with other killing prefer: imprison everybody who has killed a plant, or release everybody with a murder sentence...

Klutz
Apr 18th, 2006, 12:54 PM
Oooh, that's a good one, too, Korn!

applecrumble
Apr 18th, 2006, 01:17 PM
said in another thread, when accused of an "extreme diet"

"yes, extremely healthy and extremely considerate of other sentient beings."

Enchantress
Apr 18th, 2006, 02:20 PM
I've been told that I'm "missing out" a couple of times when people find out I don't eat meat (both times by Muse fans from Swindon, incidentally). I responded with "Not as much as that poor animal is missing out on life" the first time and "On heart disease and high cholesterol? Yes I am" the second time.