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toma hawk
May 29th, 2006, 10:31 PM
hey fellas,

approaching you with a grave problemo.:mad: ok. here is the sit-rep. me and my partner have been together for three years and tis quite long for my lifestyle. she is a special lady and i think i don't want to be messing with her ways. here is something with a future and she knows this.:)

something has been churning my brains for a very long time. i am a heavy smoker. i have been smoking for nine years on and off. but now tis causing a rupture in my relationship. she wants me to quit. i know why she says that because we like eachother and she wants me to be healthy. she is a carnivore, but has promised to be a vegan soon. i do have tyo admit thats she is doing a giood job. recentlyu she even joined me for a few AR protests. she 's doing so many things for me, i feel there is a need to contribute constructively. i find it hard. but there is no compromise. she's the building block of my life. she's the means by which i understand care and passion.

guys'n' gals, i need to keep this relationship intact. she wants me to quit right now for health reasons. i know what shes saying but i lack motivation. i want to do it and am determined. need to start somewhere but where? resources on the internet are very intimidating.

do you guys have any tips to slowly stop smoking? HELP!!!! :eek: i thought this thread can be used by smokers around here to motivate eachother. Please don't flame me for admitting this and being so open. need help URGENT. honestly want to quit and mean it. there is no goin back. please pump logic into my brains, yer all. Maybe forming a team of smokers who want to quit be a good idea or what?

if you have any tips please post it here, or reach me on PM or e-mail steve_p_35@yahoo.com

thanks muchly in advance for the help.

Steve
:)

Pob
May 29th, 2006, 10:49 PM
Hi Steve

I don't think there is a way to slowly quit. You just have to go for it. Problem is that if you smoke less or lighter cigarettes you end up smoking faster and dragging harder and still getting the same amount of nicotine, etc.

I never thought I would be able to quit - I'd never lasted even one day before.

My method was this:
Step one was to stop smoking indoors. This helps to break some associations. I did this for about 8 months before I quit.
Prior to quitting I changed to eating vast amounts of fruit and veg. Basically I was eating all day, but stuff that wasn't going to make me put on a stack of weight. I started this a few weeks before quitting.

Then I skipped the last two cigarettes of the night. So when I woke up the next morning I had already been a non-smoker for about 8 hours.
Then I just had a day exactly the same as usual, including coffees in the smoking room - take a pack of cards to keep your hands busy.

Day one you will feel out of sorts, light headed, etc, it only lasts a day. If you last day one, it gets easier, although there will be some difficult moments.

Drink plenty of coffee, and eat plenty of fibre - smoking has a laxative effect, caffeine and fibre will help to keep things moving.

Take up a physical activity - you will have loads of energy and feel quite hyper, a bit of exercise will do wonders.

Follow your progress on a giving up smoking website - you will know exactly what to expect each day.

Hope some of that helps - if I can give up then I refuse to believe that there is anyone out there that can't manage it.

Lorrs
May 30th, 2006, 02:34 AM
I quit a week after the smoking ban in Scotland. I couldn't smoke in the house and now couldn't smoke inside anywhere else so it made it alot easier.

First thing would be, make your home a smoke free environment, give the place a good clean and get rid of any ashtrays. Just make it the law of your home that it doesn't matter if it is pouring down with rain outside, you can't smoke in the house, not even in the kitchen or out of a window.

Next, choose a day to quit. I found the day before I actually smoke more rather than cut down and just enjoy it.

Next, quit, if you have to be in a smokey place, try to avoid it for a week or two. Practice saying "nah, I don't smoke".

Next, if you do smoke, it is not an excuse to start again. Since quitting in April I have had 3 cigarettes, 2 on a drunken night out, 1 shortly after quitting when incredibly stressed. Thing is I didn't buy any and I didn't want more afterwards.

Do something else, I find when I crave if I go for a jog on my treadmill I forget about it completely. Also, if you crave, take some slow deep breaths and wait 5 mins, the craving will go away.

My mum said this to me: when you crave, remember that is the worst that will happen. And it's so true, it doesn't escalate, you crave for a few mins, it goes away, the world is back to normal once again.

Try not to quit at a stressful time and just avoid smokers for a wee while if you can.

nervine
May 30th, 2006, 03:17 AM
I don't think there is a way to slowly quit.
I second that. The best way is to go cold turkey.


Drink plenty of coffee, and eat plenty of fibre - smoking has a laxative effect, caffeine and fibre will help to keep things moving.
Alot of coffee is bad for the kidneys. I would advise to drink plenty of water instead.

You can do it mate. I did. :cool: ;)

ps: about the cravings, there is no solution to that I'm afraid. I haven't touched a sig for about a year now but on rare occasions I still get cravings. You'll just have to bite your teeth and suck it up I'm afraid.

mophoto
May 30th, 2006, 04:08 AM
how crazy.... and perfect timing... i am quitting june first... terrified. i have never really tried to quit before and have been smoking since i was 16.

i have read to stock up on carrots, celery and Cinnamon sticks. the Cinnamon sticks have the feel of cigarettes. i hate Cinnamon but i will always have one with me to chew on. i think the carrots and celery are there so you can eat something without gaining a ton of weight.

i have also read to think of the main reason that you want to quit. mine is finding a new job--- and think of that reason when you have a craving. when you do have a craving take deep breaths....... i have been reading some meditation books..

i feel prepared, yet at the same time there is nothing to prepare you. i am just going to do this once.. i do not need to torture myself repeatedly. i have heard that you need to cut back before quitting but i can't. the more i think about june first, the more i smoke. i am already irritable.

i am prepared to embrace my psycho feelings.. i have had them already...
i agree that cold turkey is the best way, but i bought nicotine lozenges just in case.
the best thing is to pick a quit date and be prepared...


good luck to you...

poppy seed
May 30th, 2006, 04:23 AM
I quit smoking six years ago after smoking for 20+ years. It was definitely a challenge, but - oh! - so worth it! It is so nice to smell nice - and have fresh breath! Back on track...There is a completely goofy book out there called "Alan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking" or something along those lines. It is really goofy - but it also has great tips and reassurances and I found it so helpful to address all of the mind games you tend to put yourself on. And the one thing to remember - a craving will go away whether you smoke or not!. Best of luck!

mophoto
May 30th, 2006, 04:26 AM
thanks - i will have to look that up.. i feel more encouragement by people who are comical about the experience, then the books that outline medical problems. etc.

nervine
May 30th, 2006, 05:19 AM
I think choosing a date to stop is kinda silly. The closer you'll get to that date the more you gonna think about it and you'll get scared. If you want to stop, just stop, right now.

mophoto
May 30th, 2006, 05:23 AM
oh no, that is way too hard.. i actually took thursday off work (my quit day) i am going to drink myself silly and smoke like a maniac on weds..

cant drinks as much afterwords, as a recovering non smoker:) :eek: :eek:

kriz
May 30th, 2006, 05:33 AM
You'll be able to quit, believe me, but you need to motivate yourself to do it.;) And there are probably different motivational factors for each individual. For some it's avoiding pre-mature aging and for others it might be health.

It's funny, I never made a final decision to quit, but slowly wheened myself off cigarettes, and now I just don't feel like it anymore. I never felt healthy as a smoker and had a very low energy level, so just feeling better is a good enough reason for me to stay smoke-free. Being vegan and celebrate life in all forms (including yourself) also helps.:)

toma hawk
May 30th, 2006, 06:43 AM
Thanks everyone. We now have a forum for smoking quitters.


My mum said this to me: when you crave, remember that is the worst that will happen. And it's so true, it doesn't escalate, you crave for a few mins, it goes away, the world is back to normal once again.
this is true IMO. resisting the craving is the big challenge. not thinking about your situation during craving would be a good choice but hard.


i am quitting june first
nice one mophoto. good luck.:D


I quit smoking six years ago after smoking for 20+ years. It was definitely a challenge, but - oh! - so worth it! It is so nice to smell nice - and have fresh breath!
yes you said it buddy. funny my GF told me that the cig smell is a repeller. i know what she means. she hates cigs so the smell must be killing her.:o i always thought i had fresh breath when chewing gum, but she does not think so.:rolleyes:

i just need to feel confident and you guys have made me feel good.:)


Don't get me wong Steve Boy, but did she say she is gonna dump you if you din't stop smoking? Maybe she does not know how hard it is to stop immediately. She should give you time and not be so hard on you.
yes kind of hinting, actually. but methinks she has the right to say so. she cares thats why. a bit extreme but i can feel what she experiences. her expectations of me are to live happily and healthy. there is nothing wrong in that.

kiran, i agree with you on the time front. but i need to quit fast to prove myself worthy of her and to be healthy. my health is too F****d up and tis high time i quit. so having a deadline is a good idea, IMO.

toma hawk
May 30th, 2006, 01:39 PM
There is a completely goofy book out there called "Alan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking"

Thanks for this. dug out the following books from amazon.com

1.)
http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j10/steve_p_35/carr3.jpg
2.)
http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j10/steve_p_35/carr2.jpg
3.)
http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j10/steve_p_35/carr1.jpg

They have excellent reviews. I might try out the last one.

Pob
May 30th, 2006, 01:54 PM
I found this website, particularly this section to be very useful. It gives you an idea of what to expect in the hours, days and weeks after you stop. Forewarned is forearmed and all that:

http://www.givingupsmoking.co.uk/stay_stopped/Expect/

toma hawk
May 30th, 2006, 02:16 PM
Thnx for that Rob.;) A very useful resource indeed. Brill. I'm all geared up now.:D

cheers
steve

toma hawk
May 31st, 2006, 10:05 AM
Smokin updates!

**** Ahem **** removed the ash trays from the lounge as a first step. a move clearly appreciated by my GF. a reason to be happy then.:)

i have considered purplerose's suggestion of living in a smoke free environment. therefore i will try to bunk my smoking break sessions at office. also will try and stay away from my smoking couterparts at office when they smoke. i can't afford to cave in.

i still need loads of motivation as it seems too hard at the moment.:( trust me, i have been very hard on myself before. upto 10-15 cigs a day was certainly a poison that made me miserable everyday.

finding it hard.:mad: :mad: fingers crossed. somebody stop me.:mad:

thanks muchly
steve

rianaelf
May 31st, 2006, 10:40 AM
im a smoker too and have just recently found a new tobacco that is not only additive free but also organic so i dont need to feel guilty that it may not be vegan tho i hav been smoking American Spirit for ages which i was under the impression was vegan but its not organic whereas this new one is. Not very helpful in my need to give up smoking.
i would love to give up and am definately gonna go for the the 'no smoking in the house' thing at least to start off with.
ive read the books and tried the gum and patches and it all helps but not enuf for me at any rate so i will be rreading this thread avidly in the hope that someone will say somethink that finally sinks through the clouds of smoke in my head and stays there.

kriz: Being vegan and celebrate life in all forms (including yourself) also helps.:)
that's a very good point kriz, thanx :cool:

alekolu
May 31st, 2006, 11:38 AM
I've been smoke-free since last October, and I think the most important factor in quitting smoking is your mindset. If you want to quit, you will, but if you don't want to quit, you won't. It's that simple. I tried quitting three or four times before it actually worked; the other times I was smoking again within days of "quitting", and I know for a fact that it was because I just wasn't that serious about it.

I loved smoking, and I got really irritable whenever boyfriends or relatives or non-smoking friends told me that they wanted me to quit. The first few times that I tried to quit were not because I wanted to quit, but because other people wanted me to quit, and I was just trying to please them. It wasn't until I told these other people to piss off that I was actually able to quit for the right reason... for myself.

It sounds to me like you're not quitting because you want to quit, but because your girlfriend wants you to quit. Now, I'm not saying that you absolutely won't be able to quit for her, but don't beat yourself up about it if it doesn't work immediately. If you find yourself smoking again after you've quit, sit down and think about all the reasons you don't want to smoke anymore, and think about what pushed you to smoke again. Then, you can try quitting again, maybe trying a different method than the last time (like using nicotine patches or gums or inhalers to help with your cravings), but I think your mindset is more important than any of these medicines.

When you're craving a cigarette, find something else to keep your hands busy with. If you're stressed out and craving a cigarette, just sit down and take deep breaths. I actually used to keep an unlit cigarette on hand, and when I had a craving, I would hold the cigarette and bring it up to my lips like I was smoking it, but I never actually lit it.

In any case, I hope you can kick the cigs. Your lungs and your wallet will definitely thank you.

poppy seed
May 31st, 2006, 03:03 PM
^^^I would have found the unlit cigarette too much of a temptation - but I'm not a very tough cookie. I had to STAY AWAY from all smoking situations for a couple of weeks.

Good luck Toma Hawk! It might be tough at times, but it's nothing you can't stand. Just remember that it's a very powerful addicition, and you have to out-power it. You will go through withdrawl symtoms, but that's just your body cleansing itself of the accumulated poisins. And you might be one of the lucky ones who finds this to be fairly easy - I wish that for you!

rianaelf
May 31st, 2006, 04:08 PM
I loved smoking, and I got really irritable whenever boyfriends or relatives or non-smoking friends told me that they wanted me to quit. The first few times that I tried to quit were not because I wanted to quit, but because other people wanted me to quit, and I was just trying to please them. It wasn't until I told these other people to piss off that I was actually able to quit for the right reason... for myself.

good point alekolu, in fact thats a very good point!
i think pressure from others just makes it harder to quit cos everyone is getting at u and that makes me just wanna go sit in a corner and smoke:confused:

RedWellies
May 31st, 2006, 04:30 PM
If any of you want another reason to stop smoking, think of all the animal testing that is done because of smoking and smoking related diseases.

I can imagine that it is hard to give it up so the very best of luck to all of you! I'm sure you can do it!! A friend of mine gave up smoking a couple of months ago. She said that the first couple of weeks were the worst but now she feels much less anxious and has loads more energy.:)

Kiran
May 31st, 2006, 05:15 PM
i think pressure from others just makes it harder to quit cos everyone is getting at u and that makes me just wanna go sit in a corner and smoke:confused:
I have a confession to make. I did something wrong. I kept forcing one of my friends to quit smoking. The reason is I could not see him killing himself just for mere addiction. He had promised me that he will quit and everyday it just kept screwing my brains out. If you are a true friend, it is very hard to show a blind eye when your friend harms himself.

As I said, I was wrong to have a go at him for this issue. I am sorry about that. But I will be extremely delighted if he considers my caring words and acts on it ASAP. Because, I truly care. :)

People should just realise that it is a bad habit and smoking is a killer. I have a colleauge at office who says he has too much worries and so he smokes. If people must smoke if they have worries, the whole world will be smoking. Everyone must realise that having the will power to quit will surely work.

I don't hate smokers. But I hate smoking as a habit. Is disgusting to see someone knowingly commiting a slow suicide. Sometimes I wish that a pack of cigarettes must cost about $ 100 so it becomes a costly affair to smoke. :p:p

It can take time. But the eventual result must be a victory.

I wish the very best to everyone who wants to quit smoking. The decision is great and will be appreciated by your family and friends who love you. Also think about the many years you will live to enjoy life and to be with the people who can give happiness.


Being vegan and celebrate life in all forms (including yourself) also helps.
Very good point, indeed!

Once again. All the best guys. Keep us updated and keep motivating each other.
:)

poppy seed
May 31st, 2006, 05:56 PM
I
People should just realise that it is a bad habit and smoking is a killer...I don't hate smokers. But I hate smoking as a habit.

All the best guys. Keep us updated and keep motivating each other.
:)

While I agree with and appreciate most everything you said, Kiran, I don't agree with your stating that smoking is a habit. It really isn't, IMO. It's an addiction. And it's a very subtle and powerful one.

I remember thinking, when I was smoking, that it was nice to be able to leave a party/meeting/whatever for a few minutes, step outside and have a smoke. I told myself that I was "getting away " for a few minutes, getting some time to myself before I went back in to join my friends. The funny thing is, now that I don't smoke, I never have the "need" to step outside! It was the addiction talking, not some inner need for a reflective moment!

It really is nice not "having" to leave -a party, a dinner out, a meeting - to smoke. I do spend time on my porch, but now it's for getting some fresh air and watching the birds and not for feeding the nicotine addition.

And again - Good Luck Quitters! Keep us posted, and ask for support if you need it - it will be so worth it!

Kiran
May 31st, 2006, 06:16 PM
While I agree with and appreciate most everything you said, Kiran,

Thanks :)


I don't agree with your stating that smoking is a habit. It really isn't, IMO. It's an addiction. And it's a very subtle and powerful one.
Oh ok.:) Thanks again for correcting me. Smoking is an addiction and a very dangerous one too.

kriz
May 31st, 2006, 11:33 PM
kriz: Being vegan and celebrate life in all forms (including yourself) also helps.:)
that's a very good point kriz, thanx :cool:

The funny thing is that my husband, who's an omni and not into the vegan philosophy, told me that one.:eek: It really made me think what I was doing to myself.:(

I am SO committed to stay healthy as a vegan, and I don't want to ruin it with cigarettes - I want my body to absorb all minerals and vitamins properly.:)

Kiran
Jun 1st, 2006, 12:32 PM
If you are a true friend, it is very hard to show a blind eye when your friend harms himself.

In relation to the quoted text, here is a comprehensive list of what one can do to help their friend stop smoking. (Thanks to brown.edu)

Tell your friend that you think he/she can make it this time - even if he/she has tried to quit before and failed. In fact, most smokers have to "practice" quitting a few times before they quit for good.
For the first few days after the smoker quits, be ready to help. He may want to talk all the time or he may just want extra help when a tough situation comes up, like a coffee break, a party or after a meal.
Offer to call or visit to check on how he/she is doing. Ask how he/she's feeling, not just whether or not he/she's still off cigarettes.
No nagging, scolding or preaching - this just does not work. Instead, let him know how much you admire him for trying to quit. Let him know that you care about him whether he quits or not.What other things can I do to help?

Give lots of praise and offer rewards for getting through a day, a week, or a month without smoking. Rewards can be simple - flowers, something to eat, a card.
Give rewards right away. Giving rewards right away works better than rewards promised for the future.
Offer to do things together like eating in a nonsmoking restaurant, going to a movie or for a walk.
Try to see it from your friend's side. He's not really sure he wants to quit. Cigarettes have been a steady friend for a long time. These feelings are normal even in smokers who succeed. Let him know you understand his doubts.I would like to share a few comments on the above list. Here is a point that concerns me..


No nagging, scolding or preaching - this just does not work. Instead, let him know how much you admire him for trying to quit. Let him know that you care about him whether he quits or not.

I admitted yesterday that I recently nagged and lectured my friend on how smoking harms him. The first time I knew that he smoked, I was very supportive although I was sad. He promised me that he will quit. He did not, but again the next time I came really hard on him. But yet again later I politely explained that I don't like him killing himself.

Recently, I started nagging him because I really care. I have no other alternative. I just don't get sleep in the nights because the thought of him killing himself is really shattering me daily. I know nagging is wrong. But whats the alternative??

I am exhausted.

Now here is another issue...


He's not really sure he wants to quit. Cigarettes have been a steady friend for a long time.
This is the problem. Cigarettes have been a friend? How exactly? A killer friend? How hard is it to understand that life has many exciting things to offer and taking a slow poison as a temporary relief during tensions has terrible aftermaths?

He may not know that I really care for him. And I am not bothered about his opinions about me. But I want him to stay alive and live and love life to its fullest.

I am down, beaten, defeated, abused and not respected, but I will not give up.

Could I please request someone to guide me here? Please guys.

Thanks for the help.:)