PDA

View Full Version : Teetotal, no alcohol - support



Pages : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 [8] 9

leedsveg
Jul 25th, 2009, 12:23 PM
Good luck to all on the forum trying to moderate alcohol intake, or give it up altogether.:thumbsup:

I'm lucky in that I've never been keen on the taste, and at 62, I'll probably never change. Must have had about 2 units since just before Christmas 08!

lv:)

cobweb
Jul 25th, 2009, 12:32 PM
thanks leedsveg :thumbsup:

i started drinking alcohol when i was 5 - that really isn't being over dramatic. I immediately loved it.

My dad was what i call a 'high functioning alcoholic' - he held down a managerial position whilst drinking every lunchtime and evening. I remember me and my mum having to go and collect him a couple of times after he crashed his company car during work time, and having to not tell people about it, so i assume he was pissed :rollseyes_ani:.

My parents always socialised a lot, there was loads of alcohol in our house. By the time i was 11 i was filling up my little Snoopy flask with vodka and drinking it in bed of an evening. I told my husband about that the other day and he was freaked out. It seemed quite normal to me. I wonder how much damage i did to myself? :sad:.

herbwormwood
Jul 25th, 2009, 04:44 PM
I also drank a lot during my teens and 20's, I agree the culture I was in promoted it, have been teetotal now since around 2001, and feel much better for it. I have 4 teetotal friends, I mean non internet friends, actually 2 of them are neighbours of mine, one is teetotal due to being a muslim.
Everyone else I know thinks drinking alcohol is perfectly normal. Sometimes someone I don't know well such as taxi driver, hairdresser, will ask me "are you going out tonight" or "are you going out at the weekend" and I know they mean "are you going out on the pi**", which is the norm on Tyneside. In fact Newcastle is the regional binge drinking capital.

Barry
Jul 27th, 2009, 06:23 PM
My parents always socialised a lot, there was loads of alcohol in our house. By the time i was 11 i was filling up my little Snoopy flask with vodka and drinking it in bed of an evening
wow, that must have had a huge influence as to what your perception of what is "normal" in regards to alcohol intake?

owen
Jul 27th, 2009, 06:57 PM
...I was thinking I was probably deluding myself in the same way. Maybe it's the drink itself that stops you realising what is going on? Anyway, I was starting to see that maybe looking at my drinking from the outside the reality was different to what I had been telling myself for years. Not that I was necessarily drinking any more than my peers, you understand, but that we were _all_ ruining our lives with the stuff.

I really like what you've written there.

I was talking about your post to my girlfriend this morning. She doesn't drink any more either. I was saying I liked the phrase "maybe it's something in the drink that stops you realising what's going on."

And she was saying that's the whole thing about "denial" -- not just for drink but for any addictive behaviour that you want to change. She was saying that to blame the drink itself is very close to to saying that you're powerless in the face of it. And she doesn't like the idea of being powerless.

I wasn't so sure that her conclusion was valid, but I found it hard to put my finger on it. I'm sort of thinking that one can have addictive/ compulsive/ just-not-very-useful behaviours and one can have different levels of awareness and denial about them.

E.g. I knew by the end of my drinking days that the game was up; there was no denial of the problem. Didn't stop me carrying on drinking for a good while longer though.

I think perhaps why I wasn't quick to agree with my gf this morning was because the thing I really dislike about the concept of "denial" is that it's so hard (impossible?) to prove that you're not in denial if someone is accusing you of "being in denial" of a problem.


Owen

PS Barry -- I've never had so much fun playing live (mostly old skool punk) as since I've stopped drinking. But this is because I'm playing so much better, lol.

cobweb
Jul 27th, 2009, 07:12 PM
wow, that must have had a huge influence as to what your perception of what is "normal" in regards to alcohol intake?


hrm, yes, it was only when i stopped that i realised that though :umm:

sandra
Jul 27th, 2009, 08:25 PM
I'm one of those 'boring' people who can have a drink but don't over-do it. I know what my limit is and when to stop...........these days after 1 glass of wine I've had enough so I stop! :D

I really believe it's a genetic thing though..................if you are inclined not to be able to drink responsibly then it is best avoided completely.

I know I can have 1 or 2 drinks and then quite happily stop and drink water etc. Infact I find when I'm in company that those who continue to drink are very boring company. I really believe there is such a thing as an addictive personality. :(

cobweb
Jul 27th, 2009, 08:42 PM
I would agree, Sandy. Whilst i personally don't regard Alcoholism as a 'disease' i would say it's a symptom of mental health problems/an addictive personality.

My doctor has 'ordered' me to abstain completely, even from just the one drink.

sandra
Jul 28th, 2009, 10:55 AM
Yes, Cobweb I do think it's best to avoid it if you are having problems like that.
Even one glass has it's effects. :(

starlight
Jul 28th, 2009, 10:46 PM
I wasn't so sure that her conclusion was valid, but I found it hard to put my finger on it. I'm sort of thinking that one can have addictive/ compulsive/ just-not-very-useful behaviours and one can have different levels of awareness and denial about them.

E.g. I knew by the end of my drinking days that the game was up; there was no denial of the problem. Didn't stop me carrying on drinking for a good while longer though.

I think perhaps why I wasn't quick to agree with my gf this morning was because the thing I really dislike about the concept of "denial" is that it's so hard (impossible?) to prove that you're not in denial if someone is accusing you of "being in denial" of a problem.


my $0.02 ...

Terms like "addiction" and "in denial" are very loaded - they can conjure up the idea of a person with some sort of psychological or mental health problem that "normal" people don't have.

The medical model of mental health divides people into "patients" who are powerless and passive, and "care givers" (e.g. doctors) who are active and powerful. Lots of people (me included) don't like the idea of being cast in the role of a powerless and passive "patient". Maybe this is what your girlfriend was reacting to?

I'm sure there are people who have addictive and delusional personality disorders, but there are also lots of people who don't really but still have a problem with alcohol.

For many, I suspect it's "just" a matter of habit. The word "just" makes it sound trivial, but as we know habit's are really hard to break and lots of people make up all sorts of excuses so as to avoid trying.

For example, there are lots of people who know they are eating the wrong types of food and never get enough exercise. They know that they should really cut down on the deserts and eat more fruit and veg and go jogging 4 times a week but they still carry on with their unhealthy lifestyles. If you talk to them about it, they might make all sorts of excuses like "i'm too busy" or "i can't afford a gym" or whatever but actually all they're doing is avoiding facing up to the issue because it's tough to change habits.

I think lots of people are like this with alchohol. They might have habits like drinking alcohol when they're out socialising, pouring a "stiff one" when they come home from a stressful day at work, or drinking whenever they are watching football or thinking about unhappiness in their lives.

If they're smart or drinking lots, they might know these habits are destructive and they should really cut down. But change is hard, so instead they make up all sorts of excuses. They might say "I need a drink to loosen up so I can have fun" or "I need a drink to unwind" or whatever. If they thought about it further they would know there are other ways to unwind or whatever, but they make these excuses to themselves because it's easier than changing their habits. They may even come to believe some of these things over time, if the only way they ever experience "having fun" or "unwinding" is accompanied by a drink.

These are the sort of delusions I was referring to. The trouble is alcohol is a powerful drug and stops you thinking rationally about the situation you're in and how to break the habbits.

I think anyone can get into these sort of patterns of behaviour, even if they're not an addictive personality.

</rant>

jimmeh
Jul 29th, 2009, 10:22 AM
I went to the pub with friends last night. I volunteered to be the designated driver so that I could avoid alcohol. It was unpleasant, but it did the trick

puca
Oct 18th, 2009, 06:08 PM
I would like to quit drinking...

I don't think I have a healthy relationship with alcohol. Drinking alone probably isn't healthy and neither is drinking when I feel anxious.

A few years ago, the doctor warned me that I had a problem with alcohol and was on the road to developing dangerous habits that could result in alcoholism (like Dad's girlfriend and possibly Dad, I dunno)...

I have chilled it since then, but the past year have developed an unhealthy relationship again, I feel. Also, I have slipped up and smoked when drunk and acted out of order.

I know I probably sound pathetic, or like I'm making a big deal out of things. The fact is, I am starting to become attached to booze as a method to 'cope' and I know because I grew up around alcoholic people, that I may be more prone to falling in to those cycles than others.

Also, I am starting to experience symptoms of depression again (if it weren't for work, I probably wouldn't speak to anyone outside the house on anything other than MSN) and don't want to have it spiral to the point I end up in hospital or unemployed...

So I was wondering if anybody has over-come a situation similar to mine.

cobweb
Oct 18th, 2009, 10:22 PM
^ Puca i don't think you're making a big thing of it atall :).

I used to drink alone every single evening/night, i even ended up drink-driving once so i could go and buy more alcohol :(. That incident shocked me into cutting down and eventually i stopped drinking. I started again but realised i just couldn't drink in a 'healthy' way, much like you (my dad is alcohol dependant aswell so i've seen what its like).

My GP has told me in no uncertain terms that i must not drink ANY alcohol. I really do think it's a very bad idea for anyone who's prone to regular depressions.

I'm always hunting out nice 'soft' drinks (my favourite right now is cherry juice with fizzy water) and i enjoy them instead of alcohol. I miss it sometimes but know i'm happier without it. Drink brings down my defences against my 'dark side' :o.

Pob
Oct 18th, 2009, 10:31 PM
I'm on the wagon for a bit at least. Trouble is that alcohol has been making me snore really badly which ruins Toni's sleep. Even a couple of pints seems to trigger the snoring, so I'm gonna be teetotal for a while.

Marrers
Oct 19th, 2009, 11:34 AM
It's great if you can give up totally. I find alcohol-free beers like Cobra 0% very good if you miss the taste, or some of the sparkling alcohol-free wines you can get online. I used these when I gave up drinking for a while and still have them sometimes to limit the amount of alcohol I drink. (Some links in this (http://veganforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18045) thread.)

herbwormwood
Oct 19th, 2009, 01:07 PM
I stopped drinking a few years back because I realised I didn't like the way I carried on after only a small amount of alcohol. I don't miss it at all.

Sunkist
Oct 24th, 2009, 07:06 PM
I have chilled it since then, but the past year have developed an unhealthy relationship again, I feel. Also, I have slipped up and smoked when drunk .

Also, I am starting to experience symptoms of depression again (if it weren't for work, I probably wouldn't speak to anyone outside the house on anything other than MSN) and don't want to have it spiral to the point I end up in hospital or unemployed...


I was teetotal for about 4.5 years before I recently started drinking again after the birth of my son about 3 years ago. I've decide to go teetotal again because when I was teetotal I was incontrol and it was one of the happiest and healthiest times of my life. I'm now in counselling and attend a feelings group at a stabilization centre near me. I'm also going to try acupuncture and reiki which they offer to people at the centre,

:)

starlight
Oct 24th, 2009, 07:45 PM
I've decide to go teetotal again because when I was teetotal I was incontrol and it was one of the happiest and healthiest times of my life.

Well done Sunkist - I honestly think the hardest part is getting to the point where you can decide to do it with sincerity and strength of mind.



I'm now in counselling and attend a feelings group at a stabilization centre near me. I'm also going to try acupuncture and reiki which they offer to people at the centre,

:)

Hope it all works out for ya.

starlight
Oct 24th, 2009, 07:47 PM
I'm 6 months alcohol-free this weekend :)

vegcurry
Oct 24th, 2009, 09:31 PM
I stopped drinking about 18 months back; I'd been teetotal for several years when I met Mrs vegcurry, but she led me astray on our first meal together when she brought a bottle of wine ... mind you I also led her astray :tongue_ani::wink_ani:

I'm glad I'm no longer drinking, having a father that is an alcoholic has always been a deterrent to me; it's too easy to slip into the route of polite drinker > social drinker > stress relief drinker, and then realise it's got you under control.

Good luck to all those who are taking back control of their lives.

Sunkist
Oct 24th, 2009, 10:05 PM
I'm 6 months alcohol-free this weekend :)

Thats good - did you have much support?




Good luck to all those who are taking back control of their lives.

You're so right,- you think you can have one drink but then you can become a problem drinker and it can affect you're whole life and the people around you:( I just want to get back to my old self because I knew how happy I was (and how much I liked myself) - and I can still socialize- I'm able to go to a club/party and have a good time - I used to before:) - I had a great time,- Thanks

sandra
Oct 24th, 2009, 11:00 PM
Well done to everyone taking control of things! I don't have an addictive personality so can't really identify with alcohol addiction but I really admire anyone who realises they have a problem and does something about it! :)

leedsveg
Oct 24th, 2009, 11:08 PM
Well done to everyone taking control of things! I don't have an addictive personality so can't really identify with alcohol addiction but I really admire anyone who realises they have a problem and does something about it! :)

+1

lv

cobweb
Oct 24th, 2009, 11:30 PM
I stopped drinking about 18 months back; I'd been teetotal for several years when I met Mrs vegcurry, but she led me astray on our first meal together when she brought a bottle of wine ... mind you I also led her astray :tongue_ani::wink_ani:

I'm glad I'm no longer drinking, having a father that is an alcoholic has always been a deterrent to me; it's too easy to slip into the route of polite drinker > social drinker > stress relief drinker, and then realise it's got you under control.

Good luck to all those who are taking back control of their lives.


i identify with this, my dad used to drink at lunchtime, come home from work, have his tea, off to the pub for a couple of pints and then, regular as clockwork, a half bottle of whiskey every night before bed :satisfied:. Those were just normal weekdays, weekends and special occasions and he'd step it right up.
i can't count the amount of times that me and my brother had to help my mum get him home from parties when we were kids because he was too drunk to walk in a straight line :rolleyes:. Bit pathetic really.

starlight
Oct 25th, 2009, 06:29 PM
Thats good - did you have much support?


My wife and I stopped together so we support each other.


i identify with this

+1