i usually slip them a copy of "meet your meat" that will shut them up.
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i usually slip them a copy of "meet your meat" that will shut them up.
:D :D :D Love it!!!Quote:
applecrumble
Lately, I've taken to being very silly and not at all serious about arguing. I often tell them I've vegan because the leprechauns tell me to be, or that it makes me gifted in the areas of lovemaking. :)
Anyone see the t-shirt that says this...
VEGANS MAKE GREAT LOVERS
Pity you aren't one!
My Mother asked me about drinking milk... so I asked her if she would drink another woman's breast milk. Of course when she said no, I asked her why she would be willing to drink from a cow then.
Perhaps this isn't witty, but it still made her think about what she was actually doing.
kristymae,
I always love the milk argument!
Them: Why don’t you drink milk, it’s so good for you?
Me: (With the you are stupid look on my face and very flat, matter of fact tone) No it’s not. It’s filled with pus, hormones, fat and is completely unnatural to ingest. Why would anyone drink something that gross?
Them: Everybody drinks it.
Me: Would you drink the milk from a rat?
Them: (Stupid look on face and speechless)
Lol thats funny. I love those remarks which show the ritual as the farce and absurdity that it really is :D
Blueshark,
The ritual as the farce is wonderful. That reminds me of Thanksgiving. I do love that holiday and I really enjoy my Tofurky!
Last Thanksgiving everyone could not believe that I would not eat turkey. It's tradition, blah, blah, blah....
So I in my mature adult way would tell them that I refused to eat the mascot. Then asked them were they going to grill Santa for Xmas or roast the Easter Bunny? They didn't find humor in that.
Sheila
I got you now.
Also your signature cracks me up - not sure if it supposed to :D
I honestly don't even bother most of the time when people question/challenge me about my eating habits. They don't really care anyway, so why should I explain myself.
Actually Kristymae they do care - just usually about themselves.
They will find it confusing if you are secure in your eating habits. Use this. Make them feel stupid by revealing the truth.
Rat milk etc.. is fantastic :D
this is the truth - both disheartening and freeingQuote:
kristymae
BINGO! In fact, the phrase "explain myself" shows how screwed-up the very dynamic of this kind of conversation is. We, as veg*ns, have nothing to "explain". It's about as meaningful (to me, anyway) as asking me to "explain" why I don't beat my wife.Quote:
kristymae
Folks, in the end, it's the omnis who (to quote Ricky) "got some 'splainin' to dooooo!"
"Idiot: So, then what DO you eat?!
Me: Anything that doesn't take a dump."
Nice.
Yeaaaaaa...I'm not too great at arguing. I just get loud and violent, haha. But this is what a typical argument looks like:
Non veg(an): Why don't you eat meat?
Me (perfectly calm): Because I don't like the way animals are treated.
Non veg(an): Well, just because you don't eat them, doesn't mean you're helping.
Me (getting a little argumentive): Yea it does. If I don't purchase meat, an animal doesn't have to be killed. If there are enough people, then the rate at which factory farmed animals are being slaughtered will significantly decrease.
Non veg(an): But not everyone is going to turn vegetarian.
Me (ready to freaking punch non veg(an)): Duh! Because there are people like you.
Here's a large list of various funny/snappy replies I've found on other forums:
Omni: "But humans evolved to eat meat."
Albert Einstein: "Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances of survival for life on earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet."
Meater: Where do you get your protein?
Veggie: The same place the cows and chickens get it. I just cut out the middle man.
Q:Tofu is evil.
A:Praise seitan.
Q:I could never be veg*n.
A:I could never be a meat-eater.
HIM: But when you eat your (*roll eyes*) veggieburger, don't you also eat loads of innocent bacteria?
ME: I didn't eat them. They got in my way. *threatening look*
Omni: Do you know how many vegetables had to die for you
Me: Actually they're not dead I usually eat them raw and alive, just to hear their crys for mercy.
Me: *Accidentally steps on a spider*
Him: Stupid vegetarians killing bugs.
Me: Stupid "pro-lifers" eating dead animals.
Him: Man, this is a great burger.
Me: Don't worry man I like you still, that’s why when your in your 40s and can't get it up anymore I'll still come over to your house and make sure your wife is still satisfied.
"I always feel guilty for eating meat, but I couldn't stop...I don't have enough willpower."
I responded with:
"I wonder if child molesters feel the same way about child molesting?"
Omni: "I wouldn't survive on a vegetarian diet. it's too bland."
Veg: "In the stores now..... they're selling this really cool thing... I don't know if you've heard of this before or not, but it's called spices and herbs... stop me if this is too advanced for you...."
"I could NEVER give up cheese!"
"You're saying your life is too empty for anything to fill the void brought about by an absence of cheese? Dude that's just sad. Start collecting stamps or something."
Omni: "I could never be a vegetarian!"
Me: "True, you aren't cool enough."
Omni: "I have to have my meat, I could never give it up!"
Me: "I hope your wife doesn't feel that way" (subtle impotence comment)
Omni: "Veggie food is boring!"
Me: "You must be right. After all, you ARE the expert on boring."
"Being vegan isn't going to help all the animals"
"Being a nimrod isn't going to help you at all."
Omni: So what do you eat?
Me: The other 6,000 foods.
(If I'm feeling particularly snarky, I might fall back on "Plants.")
~~~~~~
Omni: God meant for us to eat meat.
Me: Guess I didn't get the memo.
This is a good stock response to nearly any bit of misinformation or annoyance, like so:
Omni: But meat tastes so good!
Me: Oh? Guess my taste buds didn't get the memo.
Omni: But meat is good for you!
Me: Oh? Guess my colon didn't get the memo.
Omni: God meant for us to eat meat.
Me: God didn't mean for us to build factory farms and high-speed slaughterhouses. Those can only be the work of the Devil.
(not that witty, but to the point.. and it sidesteps a long, tedious argument about the bible)
~~~~~~~~
Omni: If you ever met a pig/cow/chicken, you'd eat it.
(Or some variation suggesting that livestock animals aren't cute/friendly/attractive enough to have rights)
Me: If it's a popularity contest, I know a few humans who've got a date with the meat grinder.
(Whether you suggest with your tone & expression that the person you're talking to is one of them is up to you!)
~~~~~~~~
Omni: You won't get enough protein.
Me: Thanks, I'll be sure to remind the nuts and legumes I eat that they're low in protein. They forget sometimes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meater: Why don't you eat meat?
Me: You want me to list 'em alphabeticallly, chronologically, or topographically?
OR: Do you really want to hear the answer, or are you just saying that to be obtuse?
OR: Why don't you eat sewage? (or is that a repeat?)
Meat Eater: I just ate a ribeye.
ARA: My condolences to the animal’s family and to your bowels.
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Animals were put on this earth for the use of humans. Whether that be eating them, or keeping them as pets
God put arsenic here for our use too. Try eating that.
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I didn't eat my way to the top of the food chain so I could eat like a rabbit. If I'm on top of the food chain. I'm gonna make damn good use of it.
I am meat do you wanna eat me?
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meat is not unhealthy a lil bit is good for you...you can live with out it...but why bother they are gunna kill the animals n e way so might as well not let them die for nothing
Damn the USDA for promoting healthy lifestyle -what were they thinking- oh yeah, that they were educated unlike you, you sniveling cousin marrying hick.
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it's not unhealthy. you need alil meat in you.
When you eat veggies, that vegetable used to be alive, and you killed it just to eat it. (written by a meatie)
Same as last one.
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why would you want to save animals. what are the animals gonna do?
What have you done? Oh no better yet what good are deformed babies lets eat them to, by that reasoning you would! You child murdering bastard!
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So what?
Animals are here for us, we can do what we want with them
I know you. Your parents are brother and sister.
---
“The videos are full of filthy lies that serve the people who create them. Imagine that(speaking about "meet your meat")”
-And-
“I watched Meet your Meat once.
It made me laugh.
It was full of such idiocy”
Then post a link to what really happens if you can produce such a thing I doubt you can but please try.
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“i dont care how they get killed. im just gonna eat em.”
That is not the only reason to be veg. If you are not concerned about the animals it kills-- what about the human children a meat based diet kills from heart disease or high cholesterol, or are you a child killer too.
my 'witty vegan comeback'
"Go to hell"
Also i strongly feel that insulting omnis / vegetarians is seriously going to damage the movement and the chances of them ever becoming vegan
Thanks! I'm going to use that one for sure. I go to weekly KFC demos and get so sick of the idiots that come out of there rubbing their guts going "Mmmmmmm chicken!" Now I have a witty vegan comeback ;):DQuote:
Meat Eater: I just ate a ribeye.
ARA: My condolences to the animal’s family and to your bowels.
What the hell, I don't even remember posting on this thread.
That's odd o.O do you remember saying what you said? hopefully no one hacked your account.
Anyway here's a "witty" (albeit long winded) reply that can be used in almost all meat-eater arguments when they are ridiculing you.
"Wow. Way to blindly pander to the unsustainable practices of the masses and mindlessly go along with the lame jokes that merely bolster weak ego which actually do nothing more than illustrate your fear of that which is unfamiliar. Yeah. You might want to think about the impacts that your decisions have on society and my environment before you go around trying to hurt peoples feelings who are just trying to do their part. It's called disassociation, and I'm just not down with it."
Jeez, I'm just cracking up here. The B12 semen one... oh my!
I also liked the "I didn't get the memo" comeback to the "god meant us to eat meat".
I usually have to try extra hard to be nice (in most areas of social interaction, actually) because I tend to be ironic and sarcastic 100% of the time. When I get asked the "why don't you eat this or that?" question I get that nails-against-a-blackboard feeling that just makes me want to shut my ears. Even my veg-etari-an friends ask me why don't I eat gluten. But they tend to be more respectful since we're all used to the meat-eaters annoying interest in our diet.
I did, however, get asked the "why don't you eat meat" question by a guy who became my friend recently, but he was so polite and seemed genuinely curious about it, that I answered the "by the book" answer. He then apologized and asked me if I thought it was annoying when people asked me that and I said that it was only annoying when they had that "know it all" tone and started to tell me what I should or not do.
So I guess it comes down to the way people approach you. But since we're most likely to encounter shit-heads along the way, it's always good to have a witty vegan comeback.
Some of these are really good...
i'll share this with you, completely true...
I was at a party recently and someone was trying to make another guy do his "packie" impression, so i was naturaly clentching my masseters and glaring out the window, a "friend" saw me on my "moral high horse" and outed me to the room... "we're upestting the vegan" then the whole room turns to me...
"your a vegan? Why?" some seemed genuinely interested and not at all judgmental, but then in a big room like that there were a few idiots... I'm quite new to this, and didn't want to fog off the couple of people who seemed inteligent enough to handle it, so i foolishly enetered dialouge...
Omni: But veg is alive, leave a potato to long and it starts sprouting, why don't you stop eating them too?
Me: Because they don't feel pain...
Omni: How do you know?
Me: They don't have a central nervouse system or the brain to register pain...
Omni: How do you know that?
Me: How do you not?
Omni: Just because they don't have a brain like me and you...
Me: what?!? Every living thing on earth abides by a similar and logical biological structure... we all come from the same stuff... You share 60% of your genes with a damn banana, there's nothing weird going on, everything works in a pretty similar way... if it hasn't got a brain it's not feeling pain...
Omni: well what if aliens came down and they had invicible brains?
Me: what a... what the fu... ya know what, good point... GET ME A BURGER!! What the hell?!?! Just sit down...
This guy was seriouse, and no one laughed so they must have thought he had a good point or somthing... Maybe they were just scared as they watched the vegan freak flip out a lil...
I swear i'm just gonna shoot it down before it all begins next time.
why are you vegan? because i hate plants!
that'll do me lol, thankyou Vegan Forum...
When I first went vegan I was asked this question a lot: "Oh, are you one of those crazy vegans?"
At first I'd very earnestly explain that it was a very reasonable choice, blah blah blah.
Now, when it comes up I say, "Yes, sometimes I snap and start encouraging people to eat more vegetables! BOO!" :eek:
haha. i loved that.
:)
me2 :D
Lol very good. :D
Soooo classic!
When I get asked but why don't you eat eggs they have a lot of protien I respond with: "call me weird but I don't like the idea of eating another animals period!" :D. They stare blankly for a while working it out and when they do always the same horrified face :eek: lol I do love saying that one.
omni: Why don't you drink milk?
me: well apart from the fact I'm allergic the idea of becoming a 300lb hefer does not appeal to me. Oh and then there is the poor calf that dies in order for humans to have THEIR milk and the hormones, blood and pus. No thanks I'll do without it but if you want that go ahead I'm sure you'll do your arteries proud.
omni: so what DO you eat?
me: lentils. All day every day of corse :rolleyes:
omni: We are designed to eat meat though.
me: we are? How so?
omni: our teeth as we have incisers.
me: they are purly for show when angry origanily. If you watch someone when they eat they have to chew side to side in the same manor as a HERBIVOUR.
Sorry about any spelling mistakes.
I just tend to ignore preachy omnivores most of the time...
But on the few instances where I can be bothered having them attempt to shove their poorly researched opinion down my throat...
Omni: But we're meant to eat meat, look around you, people have always eaten meat, it must be right!
Me: People have always been torturing and killing each other and raping women... Sometimes rape is even used as a weapon of war. Just because a lot of people do something does not make it Ok.
Omni: But look at our own anatomy! We're definitely meant to eat meat!
Me: Then why can't we digest it raw?
Omni: But we are more intelligent than animals, thus more evolved
Me: So whether or not a creature is deserving of life depends on its intelligence? If a human being is unfortunate enough to be born less intelligent than a chimp, does that make it Ok for them to test pharmacuticals on the human like they would the chimp?
Omni: But we are more evolved... ect ect
Me: If we're so intellectually evolved, or if we care about continuing our genes then perhaps we should start living sustainably... And meat is NOT sustainable.
hah. thats true.
people also say it's ok to kill animals because of their lack of inteligence.
i reply with a: "So it would be ok to kill a less inteligent person?"
it amuses me how ignorant people can be.
Something I sometimes use when people bring up the intelligence issue is:
“If intellectually advanced aliens came to earth and wanted to eat us, would that be ok? Surely you would fight for your life, and call them heartless bastards! What’s more you would still take that approach even if they literally needed human flesh to live…”
Not necessarily witty, but it gets some people thinking.
Love this thread - I never say anthing witty, I only do boring and factual.