:D
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I got a comment about being self riteous the other day. I kindly explained that there was nothing self riteous about being in a world where all you are trying to do is save lives and where there are people like him who bash vegans on a daily basis.
Also not really a comeback but my housemate goes to me:
Nikki: Emz can you cook me dinner cuz I can't be bothered?
Emz: Yeh ok I'm having steamed brocolli and a few twigs, that ok for you?
She recently commented that I don't eat anything, although she always seems interested in what I eat. Also I ain't cooking her omni ass shit. She brought MacDonalds home the other day and stunk the house out with the stench of murder.
if someone says you're being self righteous without you actually doing anything to suggest you think that, they must know deep down you're doing the right thing and are looking out for you being smug about it!
I haven't used this before but I think it might shut someone up.
Idiot: Eating meat is my right blah blah animals don't know/care/understand they're being killed blah blah
Me: If a pig said to you, "Please don't eat me - I would like to live out my life naturally", would you still kill and eat it?
[at this point it relies on the idiot saying no, or at least looking uncomfortable. If they did neither I'd probably give up on them as a completely inhumane moron and walk off]
Me: So, what do you think they pig's screaming means as it begins the slaughtering process?
OR
Me: So, I presume you don't understand [insert name of language they don't know] - does that mean you'd kill and eat someone from that culture?
OR
Me: Does that mean you'd kill and eat a baby? It couldn't tell you it doesn't want to die.
OR
Me: So, you're so arrogant that you believe that anything that not expressed in a language YOU understand isn't valid. Let's hope that a predator that doesn't understand YOUR language is more open minded.
:mad:
I hate the stupid "rights and responsibilities" argument it's sooo pointless
(for those who haven't heard it yet some thick omnis say for animals to have rights they need to have responsibilities ie food and fur)
"so you believe in baby-killing then? they don't have any responsibilities"
Why be so elaborate... a simple "Because I don't want to" is enough for me.
That usually will end it. Unless the other individual insists on bordering on the grotesque. To which I simply smile and reply, "I have no moral objections to your desire to eat meat. I'm pro-choice, Baby, why aren't you?"
I guess people are conditioned to think that being omnivorous is the answer to a fulfilling and healthy lifestyle. Unfortunately, I'm not here to cause controversy, nor am I interested in humoring someone's attempt to be provocative.
"Don't you wish you could eat something else instead of just those vegetables?"
"I would LOVE to eat something else. A large bbq's portabello mushroom with tahini sauce on a hamburger bun, couscous with diced spring veggies and fresh parsely, kale salad with shredded beets and carrots, gnocchi with a lemon garlic sauce or heck even a meager veggie dog would be awesome. However, you only are currently offering boiled veggies and undressed lettuce as your vegetarian options. Just because you don't know how to cook, doesn't mean that I don't. Trust me, I like the bland over cooked vegetables as much as you do. But, any port in a storm, right? Bon Appetit!"
:)
I morally object to meat eating, but mostly feel sad for their ignorance cuz mostly these are good ppl... :(
ur making me hungry... I love it. I'm going to use this tactic on anyone asking that silly question, or anytime they say, "I could never go without ___. I would starve." :rolleyes:
Re: "could never go without..."
Retort: Ya, I used to think I could never go without my [binkie/blanket/cuddly toy] but I outgrew that too...
All purpose responses to vegan criticism:
I am exercising my right as a citizen of a free country to [live as I choose/express my opinion]; got a problem with that?
or
Just following my moral compass
When that won't do, I have been known to resort to:
You don't get an arse like that from tofu and broccoli!
I love the "any port in a storm" bit! :D
I'm newly vegan so for now I'm going to stick with "because I wanna" or for questions about not eating meat "because I prefer not to." It doesn't kill them whether or not I eat meat/animal products, and frankly, it doesn't kill the animals either. :) Though if they're truly interested and not just trying to invoke an argument (as when I asked vegans before I turned) I'll have no problem explaining, because that shows an open mind and I can only deal with people who can listen.
Though I'll probably use the "because I hate plants" argument if I'm feeling silly. :D Or one of my other favorites from early in the thread "I don't eat meat because I prefer a violent death."
When asked just what do I eat, my favorite answer by far is, "I eat anything that doesn't poop." I love the looks on people's faces as they process that! :)
hehe, funny. "or comes from something that poops"
Yeah, I add that if necessary. Generally, people are too busy mentally organizing that day's meals into what does and doesn't poop and getting grossed out to say, "But eggs don't poop." :D
....eggs are poop. Or that far from it (hand gesturing 1/4 inch).
It always amuses me when someone asks me what i eat, especially as they know the definition of Veganism. I usually just say 'food'.
the problem i get with saying that
is that people usually then go all "plant" attack on me and say things along the lines of
"but plants excrete"
and then yeah, its obvious theyre just being idiots
but somehow they seem really serious and act as if they truely believe that plants excretion is anything similar to an animals
ahwell i guess you could then talk about how some plants excrete glucose, but then its not very witty and turning into a science lesson
hmmm . . . ahwell, its still a good comeback if your not talking to a COMPLETE idiot =D
from another thread:
...but vegetables have lives too
Tasty lives. After your massive meat-induced stroke, when you become a vegetable, I think I would serve you with Merlot and some fava beans.... (hannibal Lector sucking noises).
"Because I don't have to."
another multi-use comeback:
Is that why you wear glasses (contacts)? You have limited vision.
My girlfriend and I were talking about making vegan TV ads. Here's one of the ideas we came up with:
Girl wakes up bright and early and a sunny morning on the farm, takes her little wicker basket, and heads out to the barn to collect the morning eggs.
Barn is actually an outhouse.
Girl opens up the door, and instead of a hen sitting on her eggs, there's a woman sitting on the outhouse toilet.
Girl goes in to grab the "eggs" and instead retrieves a used tampon and pops it in her basket.
Gross! But would really make some people think!!
Fantastic!! I love it.
I often wish that there were commercials advertising veganism, it seems as though some of these animal rights groups would have enough money to make one or two (especially PETA)...
I think it'd be a very effective and worthy expense. I realize there are commercials, but you have to hunt them on youtube...I want to see them on television daily...
I like to use "f*ck off". Not very witty, but effective.
I just stumbled across this: http://www.vegsource.com/how_to_win.htm. If factually correct (I'm no expert) it's a good source of useful facts.
Edit: Ah - I've just seen at the bottom that the source is 'Diet for a New America' which I haven't read yet but is obviously trustworthy & most vegans seem to have read :)
I told this story in another thread, and it's not really all that witty, but I had a friend say "I don't understand vayguns", to which I replied with "that's because you're not literate. It's VEGAN" she just laughed, so no harm done :P
Hehe that is quite funny and very witty imo! Well done!!!
It just so happens that my housemate and I have a webcomic that plays with vegetarian and vegan issues from time to time...
This one...
And this one...
And this one is for the Vegan/Big Lebowski fans...
"How did you get to be so big, being a vegan ?"
"How did you get to be a manager, being so stupid ?"
My favourite comesbacks include:
"And your point is?"
"So?"
"Why should I care what you think? This is MY life."
"At what point did I ask your opinion?"
And did I mention...
"And your point is?"
meat eater: " Vegans seem to have no energy, so it can't be healthy"
vegan:" I've known various people with heart disease, so it must be the meat"
:P
OMG!! I love these, they're BRILLIANT.
I'm sooo using these <3.
Oh, I guess I should add one:
Omni: How could you survive without meat?
Me: Gee, you must be right! If I don't eat meat I'll die! Since I've not eaten any in three years, I guess that makes me a zombie. Braaaaaaiiiins!!! -make scary gestures and gnash teeth-
Omni: Oh, I could never be vegan!
Me: Hmm.. wanna know a secret?
Omni: Whut?
Me: Virtually every vegan, at some point in their lives, said to themselves 'I could never be vegan'.
I don't even know what to say to my co-workers, etc., who simply roll their eyes and call me a hippy. They've clearly made up their minds about my choice. No changing that.
But when someone does ask me: "You've given up so much stuff that's sooo good, isn't that hard? What a sacrifice."
I say: "Yeah, well, it isn't about me."
That usually shuts 'em up.