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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
I recently wrote to the government about duck hunting, and suggested that ducks demonstrate considerably more intelligence than the sadistic idiots with guns who shoot them for fun, and the bureaucrats who let them do so.
They haven't written back to me yet...
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
dreamqueen
When I first went vegan I was asked this question a lot: "Oh, are you one of those crazy vegans?"
At first I'd very earnestly explain that it was a very reasonable choice, blah blah blah.
Now, when it comes up I say, "Yes, sometimes I snap and start encouraging people to eat more vegetables! BOO!" :eek:
Hahahah! This made me laugh so hard :D
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
Essy Strudel
Something I sometimes use when people bring up the intelligence issue is:
“If intellectually advanced aliens came to earth and wanted to eat us, would that be ok? Surely you would fight for your life, and call them heartless bastards! What’s more you would still take that approach even if they literally needed human flesh to live…”
Not necessarily witty, but it gets some people thinking.
I use that same point, it usually leaves meat eaters with nothing left to say but something to think about. Very effective.
I also mention that many of the true carnivoures of our world have very low intelligence levels, a crocodile may not be able to beat you at a game of chess but he will have no problems sticking you under a rock as a snack for later.
Therefore the intelligence theory doesn't stack up.
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Yes, I see it as proof; that they are obviously very unintelligent; for bringing it up! ;)
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Does anyone have any good ideas for what to say when people (as in non vegans/vegetarians) say things such as...
"But if you were stuck on a desert island..."
Etc. I always seem to get a bit stuck with these kinds of things. I sometimes say that surely there would be some kind of vegitation there, or ask what the chances of that happening are, but still lose out somehow...
Anyway, witty comebacks would be ideal for this scenario if anyone has any good suggestions. :D
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
helloearth
Does anyone have any good ideas for what to say when people (as in non vegans/vegetarians) say things such as...
"But if you were stuck on a desert island..."
Etc. I always seem to get a bit stuck with these kinds of things. I sometimes say that surely there would be some kind of vegitation there, or ask what the chances of that happening are, but still lose out somehow...
Anyway, witty comebacks would be ideal for this scenario if anyone has any good suggestions. :D
If there was no vegetation on the island there wouldn't be any animals either.
I suppose they could argue that they could catch fish, but how would they do it? What would they use for bait?
You could eat seaweed I guess lol, the people trying to catch fish would probably still die before you did. Seaweed is plentyful and rich in nutrients! :p
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
helloearth
Does anyone have any good ideas for what to say when people (as in non vegans/vegetarians) say things such as...
"But if you were stuck on a desert island..."
Etc. I always seem to get a bit stuck with these kinds of things. I sometimes say that surely there would be some kind of vegitation there, or ask what the chances of that happening are, but still lose out somehow...
Anyway, witty comebacks would be ideal for this scenario if anyone has any good suggestions. :D
:) see this thread: http://www.veganforum.com/forums/sho...ghlight=animal
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
RubyDuby
Ruby is so cool always directing people to the right threads and such. lol :D you rock Ruby!
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
I think you can live without food. It's water and air you cannot live without.
I'd certainly try it. I haven't had meat since 1986, if I ate it now that would kill me -- not starvation.
EDIT -- Yes, thanks for the thread Ruby, I read a lot of it, it was great :)
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
RubyDuby
I know. I'm annoying :p
No way ur not!
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
RubyDuby
Great, thanks. :D
I need to remember the comebacks on here.
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
Campbell
I recently wrote to the government about duck hunting, and suggested that ducks demonstrate considerably more intelligence than the sadistic idiots with guns who shoot them for fun, and the bureaucrats who let them do so.
They haven't written back to me yet...
Ahahahahaaha :D
you should put it on here if they do
(tho they probably wont)
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
I was just talking to a meat eater about some of the snappy comebacks you guys just put on here
pretty funny
I love how she changes the subject at the end
me: I just saw something really funny (I dont know if you will think its funny) but it said, idiot:why dont you eat meat vegan: probably the same reason you dont eat humans
me: lol
amber: Go ahead... ask my why I won't eat humans!
me: why dont you eat humans
amber: Because if I did... I'd be biting myself all the time!
me: was at a works Christmas meal, when a guy at the other end of the table shouted over the top of everybody "are u sure you don't want some of my juicy steak rather than those veges"
silence
i replied "i hope you enjoy the heart disease that comes as a compulsory desert"
I then raised a toast to the guy's heart disease
fortunatley, everybody laughed with me at him
amber: Well, I don't know... I like my heart disease. I'll probably die someday of clogged arteries
me: good im glad you like it what do you want me to bring to your funeral
amber: just give my family loads of money please
me: If intellectually advanced aliens came to earth and wanted to eat us, would that be ok? Surely you would fight for your life, and call them heartless bastards! What’s more you would still take that approach even if they literally needed human flesh to live…”
amber: oh, and be sure to keep the dogs supplied with toys for life
me: lol
me: i will take in the dogs
amber: That's good
amber: I'll be sure to put it in my will
me: lol did you read the thing about the aliens
amber: yeah
amber: those things scare me
amber: aliens i mean
me: does it make you think
amber: you don't want to hear my answer
me: yes i do
amber: It makes me think of wolves and how they need meat to live. Are vegans (or the author of that quote) calling them heartless bastards?
me: not the point humans do not need meat to live but what would you do to the aliens if they needed human flesh to live?
me: brb
amber: I'd try to kill it if it were trying to kill me
me: what if their was an uncontrollable mass of them that were putting humans into factory farms for mass slauter
me: what does that sound like
me: try holocaust
Amber: Well, eating animals and the holocaust are nothing alike and PETAs analigy that it is is rediculous. In the words of Ingrid Newkirk herself, "We can debate about this all day and not come to an agreeable decision."
me: they are alot alike
me: just because you saw something on tv dosent make it true
Amber: That last statement is currect but I don't want to talk about this. The PETA/Holocaust thing is my own opinion and not you or anyone else will change that. Please just change the subject. I don't want us to fight again and I know that's what this will come to. Sorry.
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
Kerrie
Amber: Well, eating animals and the holocaust are nothing alike and PETAs analigy that it is is rediculous. In the words of Ingrid Newkirk herself, "We can debate about this all day and not come to an agreeable decision."
i really always saw the halocaust extremely similar to factory farming! i dont understand how you could not.
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
applebaby
i really always saw the halocaust extremely similar to factory farming! i dont understand how you could not.
I know thats what I was trying to tell her
she just dosent like to listen :eek:
I will convince her yet :D
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
I love some of the responses people have posted here! (I'm relatively new so this is the first time I've seen this thread.) Here's one I heard when I lived in Los Angeles and I plan on using again:
Idiot dude: You're a vegan? But WHY????
Vegan girl: 'Cause vegan chicks do it better...but I guess you'll never know.
(She said it with a totally straight face as she continued to munch on her carrot snack, and everyone cracked up.)
And here's one I found for when people try to bring up the extreme diet argument. It's not that witty but it'll sure scare people into shutting the eff up, especially if you say it angrily and loud enough to draw attention to yourself:
Idiot: Veganism is such an extreme diet, why do you eat that way?
Vegan: Extreme diet? I eat FRUITS AND VEGETABLES, what is so "extreme" about that? You're shoving rotting animal carcass into your mouth, and you're calling ME extreme?
I plan on using that when my brother comes home, because as much as I love him he can be quite ignorant and that's exactly the kind of comment he would make to me.
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
Antonia
This is one I wish I'd known at the weekend when I got a grilling from a lady working at a psychic fair.
Lady: 'But you have to eat animals to get vitamin B12'
Me (what I'd wish I'd known in order to say then): 'As it's present in semen, and I swallow... I'm fine!'.
http://www.jackinworld.com/library/science/semcomp.html
That is one of the funniest things i've ever heard. it's so vulgar and shocking & doesn't sound defensive at all.
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
helloearth
Does anyone have any good ideas for what to say when people (as in non vegans/vegetarians) say things such as...
"But if you were stuck on a desert island..."
Etc. I always seem to get a bit stuck with these kinds of things. I sometimes say that surely there would be some kind of vegitation there, or ask what the chances of that happening are, but still lose out somehow...
Anyway, witty comebacks would be ideal for this scenario if anyone has any good suggestions. :D
but you're not stuck on a deserted island and probably never will be. we are all making REAL choices for REAL situations in a REAL world. there's no end to hypothetical arguments, putting yourself in situations that would never happen. you can't literally plan ahead for something like that anyway. if anyone were in that situation they'd have no clue how to actually cope with it. it's fantasy. it's like asking if you'd eat meatballs if you got stuck in a super mario brothers video game.
i just say i can't be certain what i'd do any more than they can without actually being there. what if there were no plants or animals and i had to become a cannibal to survive? would i? i'd like to say no, but i'm not there, never have been & can't give an educated answer. what i am certain of is that i'm not on a deserted island now and i'm not in a position where i need to consider murdering an animal, or human, as a matter of sheer survival. so i'm making an evolved decision to put the best choice for my health, and the welfare of the environment above any emotional nonsense as well as propagating a less violent society, and doing my individual part to quell all the incidental damage that comes to humanity and the planet from factory farming.
i'm sure you can condense the idea into some witty banter.
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Somebody said to me that veganism is a lifestyle choice and if I make it a moral one then it makes me a zealot, makes me superior and alienates people. If I subscribe to veganism because I believe that it is moral to do so then that means I am criminalising him as a meat eater and am putting myself on a pedestool.
I didn't really know how to reply to that because I've never preached at anybody or claimed myself to be superior nor do I understand that I am acting like omnis are below me. :confused:
How can I come back to that because I really don't see the logic in that as an intelligent argument?
I didn't even talk about morals... I put up a link about famous veg*ns and said who were my favourites. Somebody mentioned the environment and I said that maybe environmentalism would be a better way to promote it as a lot of people don't really want to hear about animal welfare or animal rights. Which to be fair is true in my experience.
It actually hurt me a it because he said that something I wrote on facebook had alienated a lot of people I know (who actually discusses what other people put on Facebook? And I couldn't see how it was offensive, I have even had friends saying it wasn't)... Now I wonder if some of my mates hate me, or if he's been stirring trouble.
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
puca
Somebody said to me that veganism is a lifestyle choice and if I make it a moral one then it makes me a zealot, makes me superior and alienates people. If I subscribe to veganism because I believe that it is moral to do so then that means I am criminalising him as a meat eater and am putting myself on a pedestool.
I didn't really know how to reply to that because I've never preached at anybody or claimed myself to be superior nor do I understand that I am acting like omnis are below me. :confused:
How can I come back to that because I really don't see the logic in that as an intelligent argument?
I didn't even talk about morals... I put up a link about famous veg*ns and said who were my favourites. Somebody mentioned the environment and I said that maybe environmentalism would be a better way to promote it as a lot of people don't really want to hear about animal welfare or animal rights. Which to be fair is true in my experience.
It actually hurt me a it because he said that something I wrote on facebook had alienated a lot of people I know (who actually discusses what other people put on Facebook? And I couldn't see how it was offensive, I have even had friends saying it wasn't)... Now I wonder if some of my mates hate me, or if he's been stirring trouble.
should u not act according to your morals because it could make others feel guilty? That seems like it's their problem, not yours. if they feel that way it's because they also hold those morals but do not yet have the strength to act on them.
Just tell them you do what you feel is right and can't be bothered with how that makes others feel. You can only control your own actions, and prefer to feel good about yourself to being a follower.
He's probably just trying to make it seem like he has a real point by saying others feel the same. Safety in numbers, ya know?
The truth is veganism is positive in every direction. Of course usually its the animals that bring us to it, and now we know that meat eating is ultimately changing the earths environment so that humans will no longer be able to survive here (through global warming and wasting finite resources such as land and water). and of course veganism is much better for your health as animal fat is the number one cause of death and disability in north america.
Acting on those truths does not make u a bad person. The person who finds fault in you acting on your sensibilities is just feeling guilty.
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
puca
Somebody said to me that veganism is a lifestyle choice and if I make it a moral one then it makes me a zealot, makes me superior and alienates people. If I subscribe to veganism because I believe that it is moral to do so then that means I am criminalising him as a meat eater and am putting myself on a pedestool.
I would be tempted to tell that person that the fate of the animals is far more important to you than his opinion of your "morals". (Stealing an idea that I saw on another thread).
Either that or tell him to climb down off his cross because somebody needs the wood :D
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
Roxy
Either that or tell him to climb down off his cross because somebody needs the wood :D
Hehe gonna steal that.
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
haha.
i agree though.
by saying that you think you are above everyone else, he's just placing you on that pedestool.
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
It seems to me that its him who sees you as morally superior and is angry that he dosent have the courage to go against the grain too. So instead of making the moral choice aswell he wants to drag you back down (from the pedestal he put you on) to make himself feel better about how he chooses to live. Its his issue not yours.
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
If they truely believe you are living on a moral high ground then they are admitting that what they are doing feels wrong on some level, perhaps they should analyze that instead.
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Recently my wife mentioned to an acquaintance that we were now vegan, and as such were not eating any animal products.
The acquaintance replied, "So you eat fish, right?"
;-)
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
If someone says you are too preachy you can always say "I guess I have a big ego, but not so big that I would eat something with a spine"
:)
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
Fanfear
If someone says you are too preachy you can always say "I guess I have a big ego, but not so big that I would eat something with a spine"
:)
I don't tend to be preachy. My philosophy is more live and let live. I feel that everyone has the right to decide what they want to eat for themselves.
But I do like the "no spine" line! But as Dr. Seuss might have said, "...Scallops have no spine and I chose to decline..."
:)
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
GoneVegan
Recently my wife mentioned to an acquaintance that we were now vegan, and as such were not eating any animal products.
The acquaintance replied, "So you eat fish, right?"
;-)
haha...the day i first told my mother, i was standing in her kitchen and mentioned that i decided to be vegan, no meat or dairy...about 10 seconds later she offered me a turkey and cheese sandwich. ummm, hello? is the concept really that unfathomable?
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
veggiemaya
haha...the day i first told my mother, i was standing in her kitchen and mentioned that i decided to be vegan, no meat or dairy...about 10 seconds later she offered me a turkey and cheese sandwich. ummm, hello? is the concept really that unfathomable?
:D
My wife's mom continues to offer her coffee even though she knows that my wife has NEVER drank coffee. Maybe it's just a mom thing.... :)
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
puca
Somebody mentioned the environment and I said that maybe environmentalism would be a better way to promote it as a lot of people don't really want to hear about animal welfare or animal rights. Which to be fair is true in my experience.
yes i agree. most people won't even let me start to tell them anything about the way animals are being treated because its "too sad and upsetting", as they look back down at their plate of steak or chicken and continue to eat. talk about ignorance being bliss!
Quote:
puca
It actually hurt me a it because he said that something I wrote on facebooks0 had alienated a lot of people I know (who actually discusses what other people put on Facebook? And I couldn't see how it was offensive, I have even had friends saying it wasn't)... Now I wonder if some of my mates hate me, or if he's been stirring trouble.
please, don't let what that person said hurt you. deciding to be vegan is a personal choice, made because of personal values. so, maybe next time you should tell him something more along the lines of "mind your own f-ing business" it may not be witty...but let me tell you..it gets the point across! ;)
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Quote:
GoneVegan
:D
My wife's mom continues to offer her coffee even though she knows that my wife has NEVER drank coffee. Maybe it's just a mom thing.... :)
yes, i think you may have a point there!!
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Is rude witty?
maybe not witty but they soon won't forget...
my local mag's 'fashions pick' was fur trimmed red leather gloves...
I shot back an email:
"...if you think features are more attractive framed in fur then skip the bikini wax!"
Also when milk arrives at the table along with my order of black coffee, I hand it back with "no thanks, I don't ingest bodily fluids from other females."
my poor partner ;)
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Re: Is rude witty?
Quote:
pat sommer
Also when milk arrives at the table along with my order of black coffee, I hand it back with "no thanks, I don't want bodily fluids from other females."
HYSTERICAL!
:)
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Re: Is rude witty?
Quote:
pat sommer
"...if you think features are more attractive framed in fur then skip the bikini wax!"
haha, that is hysterical! and by the way, that pic is beautiful!! did you take that?
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
people at my school are usually pretty cool about it, but this one guy is a jerk
Annoying: But cows die if you don't milk them
Me: Only if you steal their kids
Not really witty but here's one i used on a teacher who wants me to do a fetal pig disection
" You find me a pig that lived a long life and donated in writing its body to science, or one from a piggy Planned Parenthood, and i will gladly disect it"
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
Pat, you're hilarious!! :) :) :)
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
i could have used a witty comeback a little while ago when one of my co-workers said "but you eat plants and they are living..how do you know that plants don't feel it when they are yanked from the ground?" and to be honest, i am usually a fairly witty person...but i also get to a point where people say something so stupid just to be facetious...and it just gets me pissed. meanwhile, she ordered a hot dog for lunch (gag)...and I am the one that is eating strange foods?? i dont believe there is one single person that can tell you what exactly is in one of those things. :mad:
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Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!
I hear ya, VeggieMaya -- every damn day I have to hear comments in the lunchroom. I just joke around with them and it's become very light-hearted lately, thank god!!!
People make fun of my food and I say, "Awww, you're eating Wilbur!" (the pig from "Charlotte's Web") ... everyone laughs and that's that ... *sigh* one of these days it will sink in with them.