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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Thanks to EVERYONE who replied, most of the lines came in really handy at some point or another. Mostly met with blank looks but who cares? We got a few at least. Someone completely spoiled the good feeling today by coming up to our quiet unassuming stall in the corner of the marquee today with her friend and announcing "We're here to argue with you", viciously, which she did. But we won :D she ran off on the pretence of having to register for Biology, which registered on Tuesday. Her worst argument was that she didn't agree with the ethics of veganism...
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Well done, Declan! I read somewhere that Glasgow University is quite a hotbed of veganism? So perhaps the aggressive ones were feeling outnumbered ;)
I expect the free food went down OK, did it?
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
I usually respond, perfectly calm, in this manner:
"Well, I don't feel there's a reason to defend my beliefs."
or
"I'm happy with my decisions."
Similar answers have probably popped up in the thread, but these I find to be very effective.
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
We're fairly active, yep, Glasgow's a good uni to be vegan in (if I wasn't at Glasgow I'd probably not be vegan). But despite our large and growing numbers both of the unions still refuse to make vegan food. We'll work on that.
The free food went down very well indeed; apart from in the queue for free burgers from the Christian union (but "it's ok they do quorn too") or the free pizza hut pizza. Despite us being the only group licensed to give out food at all.
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Perhaps vegans should bring their own food and then if they lose business, maybe they'll start catering for vegans
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Pregnant woman: Milk is so healthy for us
Person 2: Well when you have your baby maybe it will be healthy for the calves if you allow them to have your breast milk. :P
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
"...I won't stop eating meat."
...for the same reason dogs lick their balls; it's just not a pretty sight.
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Hehe you always make me laugh!
I'm dating a carcuss consumer now so I'm sure I'll have plenty to post here soon enough. :rolleyes:
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
A : You don't eat meat?
V : Oh, you do?
A wants to make V an eccentric guy, V does a reverse.
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
I use a very similar one to that, Exec.
Omni: "You don't eat meat?"
Me: "You eat dead animal carcasses?"
Also, when serving omnis, say when distributing the contents of a communal picnic basket or a bag of take out (away), I always try to use the literal terms for what people are eating:
"Who ordered the ground cow muscle? scrambled bird menstruation? side of cow secretion fat? insect vomit?" etc. [hamburger, egg, butter, honey]
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Lol Mahk I do that too:D
'Nah i'll pass on the chicken's period for breakfast thanks....'
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Hehe, I do that too sometimes.
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Quote:
exec
A : You don't eat meat?
V : Oh, you do?
A wants to make V an eccentric guy, V does a reverse.
I really like this. So simple and not insulting. It's a subtle way of saying, "I'm not the strange one"
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Quote:
DiaShel
I really like this. So simple and not insulting. It's a subtle way of saying, "I'm not the strange one"
Exactly. Like if someone asks, "So, you don't eat meat?" I'm inclined to answer, "What? You mean, like, feed off someone's corpse?" and look at them bemused.
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
well, I can't be offensive to old folks so how about....
....Ya, I have to be vegan cause I ate my share of the Earth's animals by age 12
or
....I'm vegan so I can fly long-haul and drive a Hummer; balances out.
(most of the time people don't think I'm joking)
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
gays and girls can say
Well, it's true that sometimes I eat meat, I just don't swallow...
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
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Re: One-liners
Quote:
Tangerine Dream
I know it won't be a favourite amongst some of the abolitionists, but if someone says "I like such-and-such too much to give it up", a good response is "Well, then give up everything else!". Every bit of animal product they give up will contribute to saving lives and reduce their carbon footprint and be better for their own health (and when they realise how awesome and easy it is, they will be more inclined to give up their one remaining weakness). There's no point in not giving up other animals products, just because the idea of giving up cheese or icecream or whatever is too hard.
Well, that's pretty darn rational when you get right down to it,actually. I think the all or nothing approach with people strikes me as too "activisty", while some people get discouraged from taking any steps to eat less meat.
I agree that anyone who reduces their intake of animal products / tech products is creating a positive impact.
3 people eating one less meat/dairy meal per day is the same impact on animals as one person becoming vegan.
We should happily do it for ourselves, and cheer on any positive steps people take, I say, especially our friends.
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
I really don't think rudeness or sarcasm is the way to go; it just makes people think vegans are even more extremist and intolerant than they already do.
How about just politely answering peoples' questions or replying calmly to their ignorance? I think it puts us in a stronger position in any discussion about veganism.
This post wasn't directed at anyone in particular, just a general observation.
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Re: One-liners
Quote:
harpy
Remembering what's important to students, perhaps you could ask the men if they know that (high) consumption of meat and other animal products has been linked to erectile dysfunction?
See, for example, Esposito et al, "Dietary factors in erectile dysfunction", International Journal of Impotence Research (2006) 18, 370–374. (Mind you there is more in that about eating plenty of fruit and veg and having good cholesterol levels than about not eating meat, but we're only talking one-liners here ;) )
I used a variation of this as a comeback to a drunken redneck at one of our stalls at a music festival once. He came up to the stall asking us if I had *expletive* (male private parts) because I didn't eat meat. I replied that I did and that, unlike his, mine will still be working long after he can only remember what it was like to know what to do with it. At this he got very irritated and threatened to flop it out to 'show us what a real man is' but fortunately we were spared when one of his friends dragged him away and apologised for his behaviour.
For the record, the question I get asked most is "Are those shoes leather?"
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
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Re: One-liners
Quote:
jomo
Well, that's pretty darn rational when you get right down to it,actually. I think the all or nothing approach with people strikes me as too "activisty", while some people get discouraged from taking any steps to eat less meat.
I agree that anyone who reduces their intake of animal products / tech products is creating a positive impact.
3 people eating one less meat/dairy meal per day is the same impact on animals as one person becoming vegan.
We should happily do it for ourselves, and cheer on any positive steps people take, I say, especially our friends.
Nothing wrong with being an activist dude!
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Re: One-liners
Quote:
aussievego
I used a variation of this as a comeback to a drunken redneck at one of our stalls at a music festival once. He came up to the stall asking us if I had *expletive* (male private parts) because I didn't eat meat. I replied that I did and that, unlike his, mine will still be working long after he can only remember what it was like to know what to do with it.
:thumbsup:
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Recent debate with someone regarding "humane killing" in terms of culling.
"There's a very big problem in certain areas where animals are overpopulating and destroying the environment"
My response: "There's a very big human problem destroying the environment, but I don't see you advocating a cull for that, so your argument and justifications are not only immoral but entirely speciesist".
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Lol. Thats a good one. Just yesterday I was trying to explain why i didnt think it was ok for people to go round killing grey squirrels because of 'over population' but the conversation was devoid of wit or humour and i ended up calling the person a blood thirsty fucker. Ooops. :o
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Re: One-liners
Quote:
emzy1985
Nothing wrong with being an activist dude!
no there is nothing wrong with being an activist. That's not what I said.
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
I find the people who tend to make comments about me being vegan are;
a. fatter than me
b. not as healthy as me
c. not as fit as me
d. not as strong as me
and
e. look a damn sight older than me
so I've found the way to shut them up is just by pointing out that I look way better on a vegan diet than they do on a meat one.
Leading by example is more effective than any caustic reply.
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Re: One-liners
Quote:
jomo
no there is nothing wrong with being an activist. That's not what I said.
Without getting into an argument...what did you mean by "activisty" then? To me that sounded derogatory.
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Quote:
jomo
gays and girls can say
Well, it's true that sometimes I eat meat, I just don't swallow...
Lolololol...classic!!!:D
\m/(><)\m/
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
I've started a new job recently and after a couple of weeks I told them I'm vegan.
The workshop manager said to me "You ought to eat meat"
I said "Why, so I can grow up all big and strong like you ?"
It doesn't sound so funny now, but at the time, with the two of us stood side by side and with me a 6'1", 16 stone, weightlifter and mountain bike endurance racer, it made everyone else in the office laugh.
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
HA love it big good wolf! What does he look like?
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
This is not exactly about veganism, but last weekend my boyfriend made a quip about placing a bet on the grand national (probably just to wind me up) so I said "Why don't we go to the bookies together and place a bet on how many horses will die this year, I wonder what odds they will give us on that!". That shut him up :D
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
excuse me if someone's already said this....i only scanned thru (on my break)
what would be a good comback to those omni's that say they wouldn't eat meat if they had to kill the animals themselves?? my parents were going on about it at sunday lunch this week....i couldn't think of anything good to say back.
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Those are both good ones, BGW and Linxie!
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
In response to the "Would you eat meat if you were on a desert island/if you were starving?" the best answer is:
"I'd eat you if I were starving!"
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
priceless! but how tall was the other guy ? too bad you couldn't take a picture
Quote:
Big Good Wolf
I've started a new job recently and after a couple of weeks I told them I'm vegan.
The workshop manager said to me "You ought to eat meat"
I said "Why, so I can grow up all big and strong like you ?"
It doesn't sound so funny now, but at the time, with the two of us stood side by side and with me a 6'1", 16 stone, weightlifter and mountain bike endurance racer, it made everyone else in the office laugh.
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
I'm hopeless at guessing peoples height or weight, but quite a bit smaller than me. :smile:
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
Quote:
Hekaterine
In response to the "Would you eat meat if you were on a desert island/if you were starving?" the best answer is:
"I'd eat you if I were starving!"
Another good one is, what is the meat? they usually say a cow/big to which I say well, there is clearly vegetation there, or the cow/pig wouldn't have survived either.
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Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners
best only replied to strangers never to be seen again:
when asked why daughter doesn't eat something non-vegan "I don't feed my child lies"