Casey,
It is too bad that the Daycare Workers do not respect your choices. It is sad when the people who have charge of and take "care" of our children are not in support of what we have requested for our children--what they need to be happy and healthy.
...Well, so far the daycare staff has been great! I think this person was a volunteer or something because I've never seen her there before. I'm suspecting though that she either assumed or was told that he wasn't actually allergic to dairy and like you said, didn't repect my choice enough to not give him the cheese.
I am a Vegan Parent and I worked in a Daycare, was a Nanny and a Preschool Teacher so I offer you a different perspective on this.
First of all, everyone is overworked, in every profession. This "overworked" condition is often used as an "excuse" for Nannys becoming enraged and shaking infants until they die; You know, "Shaken-Baby" syndrome.
There is *no* excuse for sub-standard care, especially when dealing with our most precious children.
What if your son, like so many children, had a food allergy? You mentioned that they aren't okay with having nutbutters in the school, because of allergy concerns. This is a common and now widely-known concern. It is because of a few children who became very ill and a few very vocal parents (many of which have sued Schools and Daycares) that this is now something that care providers pay more close attention to. Why doesn't your Veganism warrant the same attention?
...I'm definately a non-confrontational person. I think I'm afraid of being judged by the daycare workers because I'm raising my son vegan so I try to act as laid back about it as I can. It seems to be getting harder and harder to avoid confrontation though, everyday it's something else there, they have two tortoises caged up in his classroom which just makes me sick, then I have to walk in and see my son eating processed cheese slices, what next?!?
Your children deserve the best and *only* the best. As a Parent, you *deserve* to have your wishes respected and it is reasonable to have an expectation that your child will be treated up to *your* standard of care- you might ask yourself, if they show so little disregard for your food-related wishes, what else might they be doing that doesn't "jive" with your ethics and parenting style?
Just a suggestion--You can be sure the staff has Vegan Cheese on hand for the times when other children have pus-snacks so there is no reason to have him "singled-out" or be told "No!" or made to feel different.
...Yes, I've thought about that, though they don't have cheese at snack time very often. And honestly I don't consider any of their other snack foods to be nutritionally adequate either. Even when they have fruit they only give them tiny little pieces (a serving of fruit for my son is one *whole* apple/banana, he loves fruit), most of their snacks are processed-cracker-type-things like "goldfish" chedder cheese snacks. Even if he does eat snacks at the daycare I give him another one when we get home because they are so skimpy with the portions.
You are right, he will make his own choices when he is able, but he is young now and, just as if he had a food allergy that would make it so that he would become life-threateningly ill if he consumend something he was sensitive to, you as parent have the right and honor of choosing what serves his (and everyones') Highest Good, in this case a Vegan Food.
Perhaps you could make some information on Nutrition and Food Allergies and Veganism available to the Staff at your Daycare, with an emphasis on why this is so important to you and your son. Perhaps they would take it a little more seriously if they understood why you feel so passionately about it. It is possible they are ignorant of what being "Vegan" means. The people I worked with were...
There is a larger issue at hand here- it is one of liability. If you instruct the Care Providers to NOT do "XYZ" and they do it anyway, they are legally accountable for what harm may occur. In the case of a child with allergies, if a child goes into anaphalactic shock, a person or Corporation can be sued for all they are worth...
Anyway, I hope this perspective offers you something of use.
Blessings and Be Well!
What did your Vegan Child/ren Eat Today?
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Also, he gets his fruits/veggies for lunch (I send a main dish with him) and snacks from his day care so I usually don't know what he ate as far as those go.
I think I'm gonna return the juicer and buy some veg juice at the store. 
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I always underestimate the time it takes to cook celery and carrots. 
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