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Thread: Vegan jokes

  1. #1
    danaeonyx's Avatar
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    Default Vegan jokes

    Hi guys,

    I'm in a bit of a morose mood and need cheering up. Anyone have any vegan jokes? Or websites with vegan jokes/cartoons on? Thanks xxx

  2. #2

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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Well at the risk of promoting myself (but you did ask):

    http://thethingsmeateaterssay.blogspot.com/

    Should be the first of many...

  3. #3
    frank language's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Quote Jonny Nexus View Post
    Should be the first of many...
    Hope so...

    And now, for something completely different:

    http://www.bizarro.com/

  4. #4
    cherished emmapresley's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    http://blog.peta2.com/2006/12/

    ^ how about this?

    hurray for wonderpig..vegan superhero
    ahronli sed ah dunit so thid tek thuh cheyus graytuh offa mi nihbles

  5. #5
    thealyssa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    http://www.veganconnection.com/reasons.html

    it's all these reasons 'NOT' to go vegan. it just pokes fun at the stuff we put up with, some are lame, but some are so true and make you laugh.

    i dont know if you are in the mood for it though...morose sounds pretty...morose

    buck up! <3

  6. #6
    VeganForHealth
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    What's this????






    ...Photograph of a Vegan get together on Earth Day.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Have you heard about the new description for people that only date people who like garlic, chick peas and tahini?

    Hummusexual.

    http://www.veganforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16033

    I'll get my coat..

  8. #8
    Russ
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes


  9. #9

    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    'Spring will soon pounce [like a floppy kitten]'. Whalespace.

  10. #10

    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week, don't try the fish..

  11. #11
    Russ
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    A google search yielded

    How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?
    Four. One on whom they can fob off the unavoidable task while the other three anguish over how many animals were killed by the habitat destruction necessary to extract the minerals required to manufacture the bulb.

    D=

  12. #12

    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Maybe that should go on the 'you know you are a vegan when ....' you think that 'joke' raised some valid points
    'Spring will soon pounce [like a floppy kitten]'. Whalespace.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Quote horselesspaul View Post
    Have you heard about the new description for people that only date people who like garlic, chick peas and tahini?

    Hummusexual.

    http://www.veganforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16033

    I'll get my coat..
    I so wanted to carry on this theme but couldn't think of another one
    'Spring will soon pounce [like a floppy kitten]'. Whalespace.

  14. #14
    danaeonyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Quote Russ View Post
    A google search yielded

    How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?
    Four. One on whom they can fob off the unavoidable task while the other three anguish over how many animals were killed by the habitat destruction necessary to extract the minerals required to manufacture the bulb.

    D=
    How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?

    Two. One to change it, and one to check the ingredients

  15. #15
    Mahk
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    "How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?"

    None. Every light bulb I've ever met already was a vegan. If per chance you ever do stumble upon a meat-eating one, simply screw it in to a socket and flick the switch. It will instantly become "illuminated".

  16. #16
    AR Activist Roxy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Hahahaaa! Did you make that up? It's good

  17. #17
    Mahk
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Yes, thanks.

  18. #18
    Good sperm
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    How many omnis does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None, they prefer to remain in the dark

  19. #19
    Mahk
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Excellent.

  20. #20

    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Love it

  21. #21
    Haniska's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Quote VeganForHealth View Post
    What's this????






    ...Photograph of a Vegan get together on Earth Day.

    *dense* Are they thin?
    it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble

  22. #22
    MarkAnthony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    There’s a statue that the abattoir erected to remind us all of their contributions. To me it marks Potemkin City Limits, this Francis cast in bronze.

  23. #23
    akaredarcher's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Quote MarkAnthony View Post
    Now that, I like.
    If I didn't say it, don't assume it.

  24. #24
    Good sperm
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    HA HA HA HA! That's my life!!

  25. #25
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Best. Cartoon. Ever.

    Apparently Scott Adams is vegetarian, which I didn't realise until I tried to do a search for that there comic strip.

    I'm going to start using that line on people, awesome.
    There’s a statue that the abattoir erected to remind us all of their contributions. To me it marks Potemkin City Limits, this Francis cast in bronze.

  26. #26

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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    I saw a cute T-shirt with this vegan pun:

    Vegans are TOFU than you think!

  27. #27

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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    i heard this on radio four:

    If meat is murder is quorn wasting police time?

    i guess we can make it tofu to make it a vegan joke.

  28. #28
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  29. #29
    AR Activist Roxy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    I'm putting that on my Facebook page if I can

  30. #30
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  31. #31
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Aaargh! A mutant cartoon! Sorry it is so HUGE! (The cartoon....)
    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  32. #32
    Mahk
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    My answering machine's outgoing message was once:

    Sorry, lime not home ripe now to answer your call. Peas leaf your cabbage after the beet, and apple kale you tamari.

    [It helps to say it aloud and slur your speech a little.]

  33. #33
    DFL Guacamole Gal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Haha Mahk, that's awesome, you should so put that back on your 'chine.

    Heartsease, I love that "intelligent lifeforms" cartoon, what's it from/who's it by, please?
    ~ United we stand..Divided we fall ~

  34. #34
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Talking Re: Vegan jokes

    Quote lakini View Post
    Heartsease, I love that "intelligent lifeforms" cartoon, what's it from/who's it by, please?
    Um...I have no idea. Sorry!

    I found it a while ago when I wuz googling around looking for funnies to send my partner. My sense of humour is pretty hit and miss....



    I feel so sorry for humpty!
    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  35. #35
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Here's another one...
    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  36. #36
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes



    Well....I find it funny... *sounding mock defensive*
    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  37. #37
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes



    Yes...I am the solo poster of cartoons....I will keep posting until I run out. Hope somebody somewhere finds at least one of them mildly amusing.

    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  38. #38
    Abe Froman Risker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    I like them, keep going
    "I don't want to live on this planet any more" - Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth

  39. #39
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes



    Hmm.....this is'nt really my cup of (herbal) tea..but maybe some of you guys'll like it. Iym guessing some people wont find it funny...but I know people who do.
    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  40. #40
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  41. #41
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  42. #42
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes



    Okay...so not strictly vegan....and not necess-celery funny....but I think it's cute...
    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  43. #43
    AR Activist Roxy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    I'm putting that Garfield one on my Facebook too! It's quite appropriate since I just posted a more serious and disturbing post about chickens. Thanks Heartsease!

  44. #44
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes



    I once told someone that I liked rice milk straight and he said "What? You have a problem with gay rice milk?".
    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  45. #45
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  46. #46
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes


    Okay..another not necess-celery one (butt I bet there's tofu in that fridge!)...but Iym sneakin' it in anyway! It is a moving image but does'nt work here.
    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  47. #47
    Mahk
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    All very funny Heartsease! The moving one works on my system OK.

  48. #48
    Sluggie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Quote Heartsease View Post
    That would make a great t-shirt design. (Not sure I'd be brave enough to wear it though).

  49. #49
    Haniska's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Quote Heartsease View Post
    Here's another one...

    *feels that, as a vegan, she has even more right to imagine happy living sheep jumping over fences*
    it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble

  50. #50
    gorillagorilla Gorilla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    the Far Side has a lot of vegan-friendly cartoons but last time i tried to find some on the internet, i found that Gary Larson is quite against his cartoons being posted on websites, and there weren't any online. he's not veg*n as far as i know but he does have an interesting viewpoint on the relationship humans have with animals.
    'The word gorilla was derived from the Greek word Gorillai (a "tribe of hairy women")'

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