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Thread: Vegan jokes

  1. #51
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes



    I like this one a lot!
    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  2. #52
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes



    I also have some cheeky ones...I really really wanna post them...can I huh, can I? (Don't worry Korn...I won't really.)
    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  3. #53
    sponge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    I didn't know there were so many vegan jokes! Made my day reading them.

  4. #54
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Quote Heartsease View Post


    I also have some cheeky ones...I really really wanna post them...can I huh, can I? (Don't worry Korn...I won't really.)
    Aw ...

    Can you post them in an over 18 zone?

  5. #55
    Va'amish Heartsease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Quote Otter_ View Post
    Aw ...

    Can you post them in an over 18 zone?
    Good idea Otter! I might see you in the 18+ zone then....
    "You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation" ~ Plato

  6. #56
    Mahk
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Lots of veg*an jokes here and cartoons too.

  7. #57
    Metal Head emzy1985's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Mahk some of those were hilarious!
    The taste of anything in my mouth for 5 seconds does not equate to the beauty and complexity of life.

  8. #58
    Becky9679's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Quote Mahk View Post
    Lots of veg*an jokes here and cartoons too.
    I've heard that parrot one before, I think it's the best ever!

    And this one made me laugh like an idiot!



    I'm going to put that as my signature, and I want it on a t-shirt too!

    This site has loads of great jokes and cartoons - scroll through all the links on the left side (hard to see cos of the colours used!)

    http://www.vegan-goddess.com/humor.html

  9. #59
    Mahk
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Wow, look at the various "fill options":

    http://www.electronichouse.com/artic...h_lounger/C157

    This gave me a good laugh...
    hog? Oh those silly omnis, they're so clueless.

    I bet chair salespeople hear this one everyday: "Hi, I want to buy a chair that involves the the killing and exploitation of geese, ducks, hogs, horses, and bees, but please no formaldehyde, that's bad for the environment you know."

  10. #60
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Maybe this isn't a typical Vegan joke but it has to do with animals, and its cute.


    Excerpts from a Dog's diary:

    8:00 am- Dog food! My favorite thing!

    9:00 am- A car ride! My favorite thing!

    9:40 am- A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

    10:30 am- Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm- Lunch treats! My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm- Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm- Got to chew on my Kong toy! My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm- Milk bones! My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm- Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm- Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm- Sleeping on the couch! My favorite thing!


    Excerpts from a Cat's diary:

    It's day 683 of my captivity.


    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash
    or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations
    perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up
    my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.


    In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.


    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
    I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
    demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
    condescending comments about "what a good little hunter" I am. The
    audacity!


    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
    placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
    could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
    confinement was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this
    means, and how to use it to my advantage.


    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
    tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
    again tomorrow -- this time at the top of the stairs.


    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems
    more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird
    must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.....for
    now.....
    "i'm rejecting my reflection, cause i hate the way it judges me."

  11. #61
    RubyDuby
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    made me smile
    Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.

  12. #62
    Goddess foxytina_69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    oh my god, the dog and cat diaries were sooooooooooooooooo funny. i am trying so hard to not bust out laughing right now as steev is sleeping right beside me. im sitting here covering my mouth laughing my ass off.
    "you dont have to be tall to see the moon" - african proverb

  13. #63
    missbettie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    I loved them they are so true. lol
    "i'm rejecting my reflection, cause i hate the way it judges me."

  14. #64

    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    There are some good ones on here.

    It's nice to have some funny vegan jokes that aren't just omni bashing, which can just seem comfrontational. People often 'accuse' me of being no sense of humour about being vegan (and formerly vegetarian) but the problem is, in the main, the jokes just aren't funny.

  15. #65
    Sproutpout's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Sorry dont know what size so ill post them sep with a link:


    http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i5...eak/turned.png

  16. #66

  17. #67
    Sproutpout's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes


  18. #68
    pat sommer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    This traveling salesman walks up to the front porch where a farmer is sitting on the swing next to a pig with a wooden leg.

    "That, sir, is the darndest thing I've ever seen in all my years traveling these parts; how'd that pig get a wooden leg?"

    "Well, it was nigh on to 5 year ago when my gran'son o'er there was just a tot and wandered off onto the highway with an 18 wheeler barreling along.
    Pig came a squealing and a runnin' and pulled him outa harms way"

    "Land a mercy, that's some story: and the pig was hit or how did he come by that wooden leg?"

    "No sir, pig was fine. But just 2 year back we had an electrical short that started the house on fire. Pig came gruntin' and squealin' out the barn and through the dog flap and come up the stairs to wake us all and lead us outa the house."

    The salesman takes off his hat, sits on the step and with a handkerchief dabs at his eye. "Was the pig burned then?"

    "Nope, we all got out safe"

    Exasperated the salesman asks, "well then how did a pig get a wooden leg?"

    A bit taken aback the farmer answers "well, a pig like this you don't eat all at once!"
    the only animal ingredient in my food is cat hair

  19. #69
    pat sommer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes


    the only animal ingredient in my food is cat hair

  20. #70
    Sproutpout's Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper?
    He sold his soul to seitan!

    Oh has anyone seen the goode family? I went to watch a clip on youtube and realised I havent installed my audio drivers lol app it pokes fun at vegans. Well I have a sense of humor so...

  21. #71

    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Quote Sproutpout View Post
    Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper?
    He sold his soul to seitan!

    Oh has anyone seen the goode family? I went to watch a clip on youtube and realised I havent installed my audio drivers lol app it pokes fun at vegans. Well I have a sense of humor so...
    I like that

    However, I don't think I know any non vegans who know what seitan is... yet curiously, I know what steak is. I think we all know what that means... eating meat harms your vocabulary

  22. #72

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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    What do vegan zombies eat?

    Graiinnnzzzz

  23. #73
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Poking fun, but very funny.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIfwM9L8w8g

    Also, don't fuck with Bjork.
    There’s a statue that the abattoir erected to remind us all of their contributions. To me it marks Potemkin City Limits, this Francis cast in bronze.

  24. #74
    Can't cook. Sarah_'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Vegan jokes

    Quote hanseidavid View Post
    What do vegan zombies eat?

    Graiinnnzzzz
    Damnit, that was the one I was going to use. Haha.
    Either this wallpaper goes, or I do.

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