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Thread: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

  1. #51

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Are you implying that the monkey only makes you a sandwich to get you to put out?

  2. #52

    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    I ask of you, who amongst us isn't part simian?
    Who amongst us hasn't had at least one simian placed hair?
    Who amongst us isn't the monkey making sandwiches for friends?

    I ask you, would you take that sandwich if you offered it to you?

    What is a monkey to you, might be a brother to me. What is a father to you, might be a monkey to me? Why draw these arbitrary divisions if not to alienate us from who we are?

    I ask you, again, would you take that sandwich if you offered it to you?
    I ask you, again, would you take that sandwich if you offered it to you?

    Simian brethern, and less simian brethern; Will you take this sandwich?

    context is everything

  3. #53
    Good sperm
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    @ xrodolfox

    Monkey sandwich? DO NOT WANT!

  4. #54
    Russ
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Ruby Rose View Post
    Are you implying that the monkey only makes you a sandwich to get you to put out?
    This is what we call "high maintenance" ...

  5. #55

    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    It's easier dealing with soup bearing mutants believe me.

  6. #56
    CATWOMAN sandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Russ View Post



    I was just joining in on the trolling which I -suspect- is the whole basis of this thread ...


    Is Love, lee a troll?
    I like Sandra, she keeps making me giggle. Daft little lady - Frosty

  7. #57
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote love,lee View Post
    i see what you mean
    like... since an animal can not give you his or her permission to have the milk or eggs or meat and bones, we should all assume that she doesn't want us to have it.
    so many people take it for granted that an animal cannot speak.
    Getting back to the point a bit, I just wanted to comment on this statement. I don't think that it's necessarily that we assume the animal didn't want us to have it, it's just that the animal did not produce it for us to have. (For some reason this was important to me, hopefully it is for someone else too!).. BTW this thread is great, and so is Steve the Vegan
    - The Duck
    Let's do something about it!

  8. #58

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote sandra View Post
    Is Love, lee a troll?
    what's a troll ? :S
    i don't believe i am such a mythical creature.
    and if i am...well it would explain my long pointy ears and hobbies of hiding under bridges

  9. #59
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote love,lee View Post
    what's a troll ? :S
    i don't believe i am such a mythical creature.
    and if i am...well it would explain my long pointy ears and hobbies of hiding under bridges
    Any bridge in particular?
    - The Duck
    Let's do something about it!

  10. #60
    CATWOMAN sandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    [quote=love,lee;418651]what's a troll ? :S

    I think you'd better ask Russ!
    I like Sandra, she keeps making me giggle. Daft little lady - Frosty

  11. #61
    Russ
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    I think the forum guidelines say something about it ... you'd be better off asking CORN ...

    Maybe you're not ... but the title at first glance appeared to be a throwback to the "bad percival! no!" vegan fly trap thread ...

  12. #62

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    It's been a while since you first asked this question but...
    1) a monkey will never make you a sandwich so the question is just lame and argumentative.

    2) Go Vegan cold tofu. Just cut the crap and in three weeks or so you will loose the taste for cheese and other dairy products. If you are only giving up milk and eggs, then you are not letting you body/taste buds get used to not having them. You will still crave other dairy products. The body is amazing and I read (in "Breaking the Food Seduction") that your taste buds change very 30 days (or so).

    I suggest three very great books;
    "Vegan Freak"
    "Breaking the Food Seduction"
    "Becoming Vegan"

    Good Luck!

  13. #63
    Mahk
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Wait! Stop! Don't eat that sandwich, it's a trick! Now I remember where I recognize that monkey from.

  14. #64
    Russ
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Maybe he's just kindly pointing out the sandwich while severely constipated .. ?

    I hope he washed his hands ...

  15. #65

    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Mahk View Post
    Wait! Stop! Don't eat that sandwich, it's a trick! Now I remember where I recognize that monkey from.
    If Chris Griffin made you a sandwich...






    (Comment on Evil Monkey is my 666th post. Spooky, people!)
    ..but what would they do with all the cows?..

  16. #66
    yum! angelamc's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Please, everyone, don't forget to tip the monkey...

  17. #67

    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    dear monkey
    here is a tip ... don't make sandwiches with chicken secretions aka eggs.

  18. #68
    Russ
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    What if the monkey voluntarily made it with her own MONKEY EGGS?

  19. #69
    RebeccaDye
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    love,lee I was in the same situation as you!
    I gave up meat at about 5 and I'm now 15.
    I went vegan 7 months ago.
    And I found it easiest to just go cold turkey BUT I made sure I had hundreds of recipes and enough vegan food to eat beforehand.
    I found it fairly easy and I didn't get too many cravings.
    It's probably different for every person, so you could try either way.

    Good luck!!

    xxx

  20. #70
    LetThemMooInPeace
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Korn View Post
    I wouldn't mind eating a sandwich made by a monkey (if it was clean), but I would oppose both training a monkey to make sandwiches and any commercial use of monkeys.
    I would agree with that statement

  21. #71
    CATWOMAN sandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote LetThemMooInPeace View Post
    I would agree with that statement
    Yes, exactly............the monkey would have to make the sandwich because he/she wanted to, not because he/she was 'trained' to do it!
    I like Sandra, she keeps making me giggle. Daft little lady - Frosty

  22. #72
    hydrophilic tipsy's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    i find vegan related hypotheticals insulting...
    the aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, dunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.
    -henry miller

  23. #73
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    I find people who find vegan hypotheticals insulting insulting.
    ^ignore that.

  24. #74
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Delmar831 View Post
    a monkey will never make you a sandwich so the question is just lame
    Nothing involving monkeys and sandwiches TOGETHER is EVER lame!

  25. #75
    yum! angelamc's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    I think I agree...I think...()

  26. #76
    yum! angelamc's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    But it would be even better if the monkey made you a vegan banana split!

  27. #77
    Ex-admin Korn's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Hi all,
    I just moved the posts about stealing eggs from chicken over to the everlasting Vegans and Eggs thread.
    K.

  28. #78
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Korn View Post
    Hi all,
    I just moved the posts about stealing eggs from chicken over to the everlasting Vegans and Eggs thread.
    K.


    That's what I love about you Korn, you always call a spade a spade

  29. #79
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote jjdaiquiri View Post
    i find vegan related hypotheticals insulting...
    Haha, i had a problem with a thread years ago that asked if you were on a desert island would you eat meat, just annoyed me because it aint going to happen so why waste time debating it.
    No offence to OP though, just dont care if the monkey made a sandwich or not, but if in the unlikely chance that a monkey did want to make me a sandwich he would have to be a mate of mine who wanted to help me out in the kitchen because he thought he should do something around the house instead of scratching, eating bananas and grooming all day.

  30. #80
    trey
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    i would eat a sandwich from a monkey if they made if for me. I love monkeys.

    MONKIES!

  31. #81
    Mahk
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    The more I think about it, I think I'd decline the sandwich, hoping the monkey would make me a Ferrari instead.

    Quote jjdaiquiri View Post
    i find vegan related hypotheticals insulting...
    I know what you mean. They almost always involve being stuck on a desert island and having to make uncomfortable decisions regarding killing animals and such. Maybe a good approach would be to flip the situation on them and ask, "I'll answer your question if you answer mine first. If you had to kill your daughter or your son, whom would you?" When they get all mad and protest the question is in "poor taste", one could then state that to a vegan killing an animal is similar to killing a person so their question is in "poor taste"!

  32. #82
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    I couldn´t agree more with you on this, Mahk. Brilliantly phrased!

  33. #83
    perfect RedWellies's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Korn View Post
    everlasting Vegans and Eggs thread.
    .
    Excellent!

    I'm actually p*ssed off that you're all still debating the monkey/sandwich thing when I offered to make you all a sandwich. Are you saying you think a monkey would make better sandwiches than me??? I'm on Cherry's website and am Queen of Sandwiches!!!
    "Do what you can with what you have where you are."
    - Theodore Roosevelt

  34. #84
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    I shall have one of your sandwiches reds, at least there wont be any furry bits in the marg.

  35. #85
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Mahk View Post
    "I'll answer your question if you answer mine first. If you had to kill your daughter or your son, whom would you?"
    That's wonderful!!

    And put me down for a sammy Red!
    - The Duck
    Let's do something about it!

  36. #86

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    So I was just joking around with my omni room mated about this thread and one of them asked if the monkey was wild or captive......
    mmmmmmm...cupcakes

  37. #87
    cobweb
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    If the Monkey was happy to make the sandwich there is no way I'd wish to offend him, so yes, I would eat it.

  38. #88
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    If I lived with a rescue monkey (lets call him Keith) who begged me (in his own little rescue monkey way) to teach him the art of sandwich making I would happily oblige. If Keith then decided, using his newly acquired skills, to make a sandwich for me I would naturally eat it because my little monkey friend wished it so. Then we could sit together in the park eating Keith's sandwiches together.
    Go Vegan, stay Human

  39. #89
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Oo Oo I want a Keith sandwich! I'll gladly pay him for it!
    - The Duck
    Let's do something about it!

  40. #90

    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    My brother is filthy. I'd never eat a sandwich he made me. Never!
    context is everything

  41. #91
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote howdawg View Post
    Oo Oo I want a Keith sandwich! I'll gladly pay him for it!
    Keith will gladly make you a sandwich free of charge He's a lovely imaginary monkey
    Go Vegan, stay Human

  42. #92
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote TheAlterEgo View Post
    Keith will gladly make you a sandwich free of charge He's a lovely imaginary monkey
    Excellent.. Let's have a vegan potluck!
    - The Duck
    Let's do something about it!

  43. #93
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Here's an actual non-hypothetical version of the question:

    Would you buy this tea?

    Me? No.

  44. #94
    cobweb
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Nooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  45. #95
    yum! angelamc's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Me niether. Same reason I don't go to any circuses...

  46. #96
    Mahk
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Here's another real world example. If a monkey made you an "ape-stract" painting would you keep it?

    Cheeta, who is over seventy years old and starred in the original Tarzan movies, makes these at an animal sanctuary for retired apes. Jane Goodall owns one and I think it would be OK for a vegan to have one too.


    Cheeta paints for fun, not by force, so I think it's OK. [unless anyone here in our forum talks me out of it] I'm against using animals in movies/TV etc but this is a shelter that takes the retired ones instead of the other disposal method: research labs.
    More here.

  47. #97
    snivelingchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    That is so wonderful! I would keep it, but I would give something in return. However, if they didn't offer it to me, and they seemed keen on having it around to look at, then I wouldn't.

  48. #98
    Mahk
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    I tried to find a video of how Cheeta paints but only found this:
    [YOUTUBE]Kbo2uy4zHoA&feature[/YOUTUBE]

    There are also elephants that paint but they are clearly being held captive and not vegan friendly so I won't link.

    edit:[OK, I changed my mind two posts later.]

  49. #99

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    yes, my strange sense of obligation would leave me no choice but to eat the sandwich. Plus, monkeys are so cute, how could I refuse?

    about five years ago, I considered adding eggs back in to my diet, you know, for baking. I was at a really cool co-op that didn't carry meat but did carry eggs and cheese. there was an informative sign on the fridge that listed about twenty "free-range" companies whose eggs were sold at that co-op. Oh, man, so gross. it was a comparative list of what the chickens had had done to them. You know, claws removed, beaks removed, etc. There was only ONE company/farm on the list that provided free-range eggs from hens with their beaks still on. Geez, I really had no idea. Anyway, that threw me off my egg-idea and put me back on course and I still can't do eggs. Maybe the hens on a small farm are treated differently than those that go to market, but I just don't know.

    I agree, ask your farmer friend all the pertinent questions then make the choice you are most comfortable with.

  50. #100
    Mahk
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Here is a video of an elephant drawing a self portrait:

    [YOUTUBE]1mPltVHkxyw[/YOUTUBE]

    edit: [Hmm, my link worked a moment ago but now says " Hobble" If it still is not working when you read this go to Youtube.com and search for "elephant self portrait" and you should see several identical videos of 8min, 29 sec] or try this:

    http://www.youtube.com/results?sourc...=1&sa=N&tab=w1

    [Don't read the following unless you've watched the video to its completion]: I'd like to think that the whole thing is real but the romantic gesture of holding a flower is just a little too much over the top for me. I think what we are actually seeing here is a smart elephant that has been taught to replicate a drawing it was once shown ("an elephant never forgets"). If anyone has evidence that elephants are known to hold or exchange flowers in the wild, please speak up! Sorry, I don't mean to be so pessimistic but I still think this is quite amazing on its own. How could anyone ever kill a being able to do this? What do you all think? Does the elephant really know it has drawn an elephant holding a flower? Could be, but I'm not so sure.

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