Page 3 of 11 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 ... LastLast
Results 101 to 150 of 508

Thread: Responding to questions and comments from non-vegans

  1. #101
    cross barer
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    melbourne
    Posts
    661

    Default Re: Suggestions please, on how to answer

    Yeah well I don't blame you tails. I had a similar problem last year on a university forum. Bloody biotech students!!!

  2. #102

    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Urbana Illinois, United States
    Posts
    34

    Default Re: Suggestions please, on how to answer

    I must say that this is one of the best vegan or forums I have come to. I have read many in my time and this is the best one by far. But I guess there's still time for some one to get on my bad side. Just kidding every one.

    Happy veggie hunting,
    Ileana

  3. #103
    kriz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    at home
    Posts
    768

    Default Re: Suggestions please, on how to answer

    Quote tails4wagging
    just to let you know I have logged of from that forum, sick of being attacked !!
    Hope you left them with a few links to chew on, tails.
    And you never know who else is observing and may catch on to it!
    "Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends". ~ George Bernhard Shaw.

  4. #104
    tails4wagging
    Guest

    Default Re: Suggestions please, on how to answer

    Well I have just told them that before I log off, that I have never met so much vitriolic attacks on someone before and that as an AR campaigner and vegan I thought that these were the most compassionate lot who would go an extra mile to safe an animal without falling out with each other.
    Also that they spat out so much venom to a lady (who I defended) who was trying her best to save dogs lives.

  5. #105
    Not Bothered Shisha Fiend's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    100

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    As for his phobia of supplements, it's ridiculous. For example, it's recommended that every menstruating woman take iron tablets, whether vegan or not. It's not necessarily a sign of ill health or poor diet.
    I meant to add: under his logic, women obviously aren't designed to menstruate, because otherwise it wouldn't drain them of iron. By menstruating they are obviously denying their biological design.

  6. #106

    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Urbana Illinois, United States
    Posts
    34

    Default Re: How to answer back to a thread on a rescue forum?

    I think you are brave for standing up to them like that. I once went on a vegan forum and said a couple of things that a couple of people didn't agree with. I know what its like to be at the end of that venom so awsome that you stood up for that woman.
    I don't think besides what you've done and said, that there's more that can be said or done. They have their minds made up.

  7. #107
    Billy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    183

    Default Re: How to answer back to a thread on a rescue forum?

    Back to the OP: Tails, I totally agree with you with regards to "meat" etc, but.... Being on both vegan and non-vegan forums (one rescue site that I won't mention here), I know that a great deal depends on how you say things. People on rescue/animal welfare (as opposed to 'rights') sites, still live in a world where it is perfectly acceptable to eat other animals. The idea of talking about eating animals - leave alone buying dead animals for their beloved pets to eat, which they see as a completely natural thing - being offensive is totally alien to them. And I think that if you, as a vegan and AR campaigner, want to frequent these forums you have to keep that in mind. There is absolutely no point in going off on one about 'murdering animals', because they won't see where you're coming from. All that happens is that they feel offended in turn, and voila, the slanging match has started.
    I've posted several times on mentioned site that I give my dogs a home cooked, vegan diet, something that has even been questioned on this site! The first time I got responses with funny smilies, and PM's from 'concerned' dog owners, who advised me this that and the other, without which my dogs would surely die.
    I've kept cool and very polite, not getting into a "you're the one to talk, look at the corpses YOU are feeding your dogs!" type of discussion. It just doesn't lead nowhere! Now, a few times and explanations later, when people post questions about homecooked or vegetarian dog food, there regularly is a reply that says "ask Billy, she cooks for her dogs", and I've had several enquiries from people about how to go about it (to which I always reply that I am by no means qualified to give any dietary or other advice about dogs). Some of the people on the forum have also met my dogs and have been able to see that they are healthy and happy.
    Effective communication is an art in itself, and one that I've not mastered by any stretch of the imagination. I just wish though, that activists for whatever good cause would give a thought to how their message is going to be received, rather than stopping at what they want to shout out. What do you want to achieve with your message and how are you gonna go about it? People are very unlikely to listen and consider your argument if they feel insulted, patronised, or met in an aggressive way. They are also unlikely to listen to someone who is terribly longwinded and with that I've just shot myself in the foot once again - 'short but sweet' isn't my strongest point!
    So I'll shut it now, see ya!
    please grant me the senility to forget about people I never liked anyway

  8. #108

    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Urbana Illinois, United States
    Posts
    34

    Default Re: How to answer back to a thread on a rescue forum?

    WOW,

    Well said. That's what I wanted to say by "the most you can do is tell them your side". I myself have been known to get exasperated and just give up on some one badgering me bout my lifestyle choice. My friends don't call me stubborn for nothing. They all love me but they know that I don't back down easily. :-D

    Ileana

  9. #109
    Geoff
    Guest

    Default Re: Suggestions please, on how to answer

    Quote Robin
    Out of pure interest, what do you guys think of the F*ck for Forest campaing? *WARNING*Adult content and nudity*WARNING*
    I suspect that it's just another porn site. They say that all profits go to support endangered nature but don't give any detail.
    I can visualise a couple of greasy porn kings saying: "Hey, let's scew the greenies"

  10. #110
    tails4wagging
    Guest

    Default Re: How to answer back to a thread on a rescue forum?

    Billy, I had to defend myself only because some member came on graphic about picking up either lamb, beef or pork from a local butcher and she explains that it is 'chop' and its mine and the meat is still warm.

    I asked her not to be so graphic as it upsets non meat eaters.

    Well that started it, I got so attacked with such vitriolic words it was unbelieveable!!!.

    I mentioned that folks should log onto such websites as VIVA, peta and compassion in world farming and see for themselves.
    Well the next thing was this particular websmaster said anyone mentioning peta again would be banned as it is a terrorist organisation!!!!

    How can I ignore that!!??. So I defended them and ar.

    I have now logged off as I said but my friend has logged on and continuing the debate!!

  11. #111
    Geoff
    Guest

    Default Re: Suggestions please, on how to answer

    Quote Robin
    Out of pure interest, what do you guys think of the F*ck for Forest campaing?
    BTW - This site is based in Norway/Sweden and I'm wondering if it could be Korn's way of financing the Vegan Forum!

  12. #112
    puffin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Cambridgeshire
    Posts
    1,193

    Default Re: How to answer back to a thread on a rescue forum?

    Quote tails4wagging
    Billy, I had to defend myself only because some member came on graphic about picking up either lamb, beef or pork from a local butcher and she explains that it is 'chop' and its mine and the meat is still warm.
    My husband told me yesterday that a driver that comes into his work said "I want to get a house with some land so i can breed my own sheep to eat. They are easy to kill, all you have to do is hit them hard enough on the head then they are dead. I can get it in the oven before it goes cold" Sounds like a lovely bloke

  13. #113
    kriz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    at home
    Posts
    768

    Default Re: How to answer back to a thread on a rescue forum?

    Next thing he'll hit his wife in the head! We all know that people who commit violence against animals could easily "cross over" and do the same to humans.
    "Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends". ~ George Bernhard Shaw.

  14. #114
    kriz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    at home
    Posts
    768

    Default Re: Suggestions please, on how to answer

    Quote Geoff
    BTW - This site is based in Norway/Sweden and I'm wondering if it could be Korn's way of financing the Vegan Forum!
    "Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends". ~ George Bernhard Shaw.

  15. #115
    Billy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    183

    Default Re: How to answer back to a thread on a rescue forum?

    Quote puffin
    My husband told me yesterday that a driver that comes into his work said "I want to get a house with some land so i can breed my own sheep to eat. They are easy to kill, all you have to do is hit them hard enough on the head then they are dead. I can get it in the oven before it goes cold" Sounds like a lovely bloke
    Not much difference between humans and sheep then! Wouldn't want to encourage him to go round London or NYC with a mallet tho. You never know if he doesn't take it up seriously!

    Tails: talk like that grosses me out too, but that's why I don't reply to such threads but instead start my own about how much Kiera loves carrots! Rather than mouthing off to people who I know will never be convinced of my beliefs, I talk to the other people about the positive effects of veganism etc. The effect so far is at least that some people on this dog site know about veganism, about giving dogs a vegan and homecooked diet, and that I can rationalise and - kind of - know what I'm talking about. I'm not saying that I've got it all right, I'm just saying what I've observed. And if this web master doesn't want PETA mentioned on their site, well that is their right I guess, just like talking about using animal products isn't appreciated on this site. I'm not saying it's right (about the PETA stuff), but that is 'netiquette' for ya.
    please grant me the senility to forget about people I never liked anyway

  16. #116
    tails4wagging
    Guest

    Default Re: How to answer back to a thread on a rescue forum?

    I did start a thread there saying there was over 250,000 vegans in the Uk and I thought that was impressive.

    Reply from one guy said I can be a vegan as long as I can have fillet steak with it!!.

    No you cant win thats why I logged off!!

  17. #117
    greenworlds
    Guest

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    [geobua quote]We also must take into account that one could not pick and choose fuits and vegetables from around the globe back when we evolved this way. We didn't cultivate soy. We couldn't get pumpkin seeds for protein. We couldn't down handfulls of flax. We had what was around us, which was admittedly sparse in winters, and we had animals. We got our Omega-3 fatty acids from elk and deer that grazed, not from some wünder-plant that popped up through the snow and sprouted opaque pills.[geobua quote]

    He said it! So it is understandable that some people had to resort to hunting animals to survive as they were nowhere near the worth of plant type foods as most of us are these days. Why can he move to the present times and look around him ..we have moved on since then.

  18. #118
    bluegirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    When I get the 'eating meat is natural' line, I ussually just ask people "So you go out and hunt with your 'canines' and 'claws'? Or I say, 'How 'natural' is it to raise more meat than we need, keep animals in tiny cages, and kill them off when they are too young to reproduce?'

  19. #119
    purrr..! DoveInGreyClothing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Paisley Scotland
    Posts
    199

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    Agreed bluegirl. Factory farming is the most evil and unnatural system. Humans ARE natural omnivores, but we can- and this is the point- survive fine without meat. So therefore to kill id unnecessary, and cruel.
    Aloso we are not natural predators of most domestic animals, most indigenous communities,ie aborigines (sp?) eat insects!
    It is a monstrous thing to do, to slay a unicorn...you have slain something pure and defenceless and you will have but a half life, a cursed life, from the moment the blood touches your lips.

  20. #120
    Seaside
    Guest

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    Posted by DoveInGreyClothing:
    Aloso we are not natural predators of most domestic animals, most indigenous communities,ie aborigines (sp?) eat insects!
    Exactly, DoveInGreyClothing! When people claim humans are omnivorous rather than herbivorous or fruitarian, I say "Yeah, we are definitely suited to catching and eating slugs, leeches, grubs, earthworms, maggots, and anything else that can't run faster than we can!

  21. #121
    greenworlds
    Guest

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    Quote Seaside
    Posted by DoveInGreyClothing:


    [Quote Seaside] Exactly, DoveInGreyClothing! When people claim humans are omnivorous rather than herbivorous or fruitarian, I say "Yeah, we are definitely suited to catching and eating slugs, leeches, grubs, earthworms, maggots, and anything else that can't run faster than we can!
    [Quote greenworlds] I say to ppl who say we are omnivores..we are but we don't have to be, we are only because we choose to be, like a canibal is a canibal, but he are she doesn't have to be! if a human is eating a herbivorous or fruitarian diet then that is what they are, we choose to be what we want in these matters. Nature may have made us to be adaptable to eating animals, but as you say we could eat worms slugs insects etc..we could eat wood if we choose or stones ,sand etc if we wanted to.

  22. #122
    Mozbee
    Guest

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    Yikes Stu, if your fellow chattee is reallee the ultimate predator in Geobau's pressence I'd feel like a snail waiting to be squished!!!

    But, after consulting others from the 'vegan proffesion' () I will have to diagnose Geobau as suffering from an extreme case of Nurtured Speciesism please inform the formentioned person sensitively (not)

  23. #123

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    I am the ultimate preditory omnivore that nature has created.
    Once our household had stopped laughing at the ultimate predatory wan... sorry omnivore and I thought I should just point out that if he is a natural predator, why doesn't he behave like every other predator on the planet, and use his sharp teeth, talons etc, and bring down his prey like nature intended - naked and unarmed.

    Sorry if someone has already posted this idea - I just read the initial post. After that I was laughing too hard to get much further for a while.

    By the way, nutritionists suggest that we snack more, like other primates do. It helps keep blood sugars etc down and helps to combat diabetes. And where does he get this stuff on gorillas from? Plonker!

    Good luck arguing with the unrepentant meat head anyway. You won't convert him, but you may help some of the others.

  24. #124
    Pilaf
    Guest

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    Have you ever considered just not arguing with people and setting a good example instead? You can't realistically expect to convert people to veganism by arguing with them. It's a slow, natural evolution of human culture which will take at least five more generations to take solid root. We'd might as well accept that and just do what we can in our short lifetimes, by refusing to eat or use animal products ourselves and getting involved with pro-vegan organizations. It's best to just raise awareness through fellowship and strict adherence to one's own lifestyle.

  25. #125

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    I have to disagree with that. When I was a kid I used to argue with the veggies I knew, and they really "gave it to me." Served me right, I was a brat. (I know, I know! A vegan campaigner used to be an obnoxious and objectionable meat head. I am so ashamed...)

    Then when I was a fish eater the adult veggies that I knew were too "polite" to call me on the fact that fish are animals too. It took a seven year old to do the right thing and shame me into going properly veggie, then vegan. (Actually I thank my son for that, even before he was born, but I'll tell you all that later!) Thank goodness I say for people who do argue. It is not just one meat eating buffoon who is reading the argument, but others on the same forum. Who knows, this back and forth might (in fact probably will) plant the seed for someone to go vegan or veggie.

    I agree that it will take generations - maybe 200 years. But we only have short lives, and as you say Pilaf, we should do what we can with them. Arguing for the rights of other animals not to be eaten and abused for their milk eggs etc is as good a use of our limited lives as possible.

    Not everyone has it in them to argue. Some people will campaign differently, but I wouldn't criticise someone for raising awareness. Seems like a good opportunity to me.

  26. #126

    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Zeist, The Netherlands
    Posts
    48

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)


  27. #127
    Pilaf
    Guest

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    I can respect the act of arguing itsself.. but on a message board? It's one thing to meet people who will positively reinforce the vegan lifestyle online, but if you're gonna campaign for veganism around non-vegans, it has more impact in the real world. I do wear pro vegan t shirts, buttons and other paraphanalia in public. Usually, I leave information pamphlets about the subject in public places (I also do the same with anti-tobacco paraphanalia). So yes, there are many ways to raise awareness. I just don't know how many people can be made to see the light online.

    Now, know what the funny thing is? The girl who convinced me to go vegan was a 16 year old girl from a message board. Heh... Maybe there is something to it.

  28. #128

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    Funny old world isn't it Pilaf? You have to love gobby girls. Where would we be without them?

  29. #129
    Mozbee
    Guest

    Default Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    Pilaf you can make quite an impression too!

  30. #130
    Hiromar
    Guest

    Smile Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    a few scientific facts
    the human body can produce its own protein when in a healthy state.
    humans are being born without wisdom teeth and one extra vertebrae in the spine. this is the new evolutionary human in this millennium that we will see.
    i can say they exist, because i was born without wisdom teeth. the first dentist at the time to find this out, was astonished, he couldn't believe it. i heard him him say quietly to his assistant `It's true!` and he came back to explain what he learnt in uni about the evolution of humans.

    ask him how many times he has slit a chooks neck, and defeathered it then gut it.
    i grew up on a farm and learnt agriculture in school, worked in a meat factory which had an abattoir.
    what does he know about omnivorism.

    he needs to go live alot more.

    the world can only sustain a maximum of not more than 10 billion people, with still starving countries the way we currently utilise the earth agriculturally. if we stopped meat consumption and used all the land for grains, pulses, vegetable and fruits. we could sustain a maximum of 16 billion people, and noone would be starving.

    many foods need other foods to activate certain nutrients. food alchemy is part of nutrition. the better you know your foods, the healthier your become.
    the same as a hunter knowing his prey, he creates a symbiotic relationship with his prey and practices humility and gratitude to its prey. humans nowadays are very out of touch of this past exchange of life for life. and many other humans (mainly vegan) have evolved out of this paradigm to create a higher principled one-that is to break the cycle of life for life.

    its just not necessary anymore.

    tell him he is addicted to his meat and controlled by his habitual consumption, the same as an alcoholic is addicted to its drink, or a junkie to its drug.

  31. #131
    ConsciousCuisine
    Guest

    Thumbs up Re: Help me win an argument! (Veggie vs Omni)

    Quote Hiromar

    many foods need other foods to activate certain nutrients. food alchemy is part of nutrition. the better you know your foods, the healthier your become.


    tell him he is addicted to his meat and controlled by his habitual consumption, the same as an alcoholic is addicted to its drink, or a junkie to its drug.

    Yep! Nothing more need be said!

  32. #132

    Default I'm really bad at arguing

    I am going to have the worst Sunday! The family is coming over, and you know what that means...

    "Is that all you're eating?"
    "That's not very much."
    "Have some chicken."

    I need to know what to say to them. I'm really bad at arguing and won't know how to "defend" my veganism!?

  33. #133
    tasha's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Nova Scotia, Canada
    Posts
    142

    Default Re: help me!

    My brother and father are really bad for saying things like, "Hey, want some steak...yum yum," or "Oh look, there is Tasha's bean food...better keep clear of her after we eat" (ok, that one is a little funny).

    The easiest thing to do when offered meat is to just smile and say "no thanks". If you get bugged about it, tell them that they don't have to believe in your passion, but they could at least stand by your choice.

    If all else fails, tell them F&*# off! Just teasing

  34. #134
    tasha's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Nova Scotia, Canada
    Posts
    142

    Default Re: help me!

    Just a thought, but are you cooking up some food? You might want to make some veggie burgers or buy some veggie dogs. This way, your not only eating a piecee of lettuce with a pinch of tofu.

    If you are unprepared for a family gathering, you do end up looking like your not eating much, probably because you aren't! Make sure there is lots of food you can eat, so you can fill your plate! Rice, beans, chips, cooked veggies, burgers, dogs, etc. Stuff you'll like and you can share.

  35. #135
    my3labs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Seattle, WA (USA)
    Posts
    163

    Default Re: help me!

    I agree with Tasha about having lots of food for you to eat. Are they coming for dinner and are you cooking? Check out the recipes on this bored for ideas. Lots of yummy stuff.
    You are not required to complete the task of repairing the world, neither are you free to abstain from it.
    --Pirke Avot

  36. #136
    tails4wagging
    Guest

    Default Re: help me!

    Just get some fake meat ie cheatin beef/ham/turkey. They wont know the difference. Then when they have ate it tell ask them if they enjoyed it then tell them it was vegan. That should shut them up as they dont know how to argue the case against veganism then!!!.

  37. #137
    Mozbee
    Guest

    Default Re: help me!

    Surely if they are coming to your house and you are in charge of what is going to be served up, then you don't have to feel emotionally blackmailed into soiling your hands, kitchen and utensils with victims of the murder industry - you are a vegan! Make a stand Flowersandbeads they're with you give them a healthy meal, show the courage of your convictions, fill them well up too!

    If you're asked where's the meat you could say that you don't buy it because you are vegan. If they want more info - there's always the trusty net or leaflets if you have any handy? Stay cool you can do it

  38. #138
    John's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    NJ USA
    Posts
    714

    Default Re: help me!

    Yeah, I would stuff myself with vegan food. Show them how much you love it. Always remember that you are right. If they pick on you remind them politely that they are being rude. Tell them to be respectful of your lifestyle. Tell them that you don't want to argue but you can mail or e-mail them information at a later date.

  39. #139
    Mozbee
    Guest

    Default Re: help me!

    Go on Flowersandbeads we're rooting for you!

  40. #140

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    upstate NY, USA
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: help me!

    in my experience, the advice here seems good. I'd add that you should avoid arguing about veganism while people are eating and just be firm but polite about your choices. Eventually, they should stop bothering you. Did you ever explain to them that you're a vegan and what that means, explicitly?

    Also, if people give you a lot of shit, just say something like "I'm happy to talk to you about it, but the best time isn't when people are eating." This usually helps to deflate things. Or, you could try "This is my choice and I'm happy with it."

    If people are teasing you and you react to it, it just feeds it. There's nothing worse for someone who's doing some teasing than to get no reaction out of the person they're picking on.

    good luck!

  41. #141

    Default Re: help me!

    Yes, everyone is coming over to my house, but my grandmother wants sate (and my dad will be more than happy to cook it for her) I just can't get away with anything vegan...sure, I can have side dishes like carrots and celery sticks for them to eat, but my dad won't go for it, and he's in charge. Sorry to disappoint you all, but it would be too suspicious if I grabbed a veggie burger from subway while they're having a big bbq...I have no say in it.

    My brother already says that what I'm doing is bad... but what does he know? Exactly! He knows nothing.

    My dad still doesn't want to accept it. For example, when we go out to eat (like last night at denny's) he kept offering me french toast, shrimp, etc... he says it's all very healthy and I need to eat it. He also offered me cream for my coffee and I when I refused he says, "Well, I don't know what to do for you anymore, milk is milk."

    Fortunately, my mother is a strict vegetarian (and vegan when she can be) but she doesn't have a problem buying the animal and cooking it for the family...so I don't always have her on my side.

    I'm looking forward to spending my sunday with a bunch of carnivores.

  42. #142

    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    San Jose, CA
    Posts
    30

    Default Re: help me!

    I don't allow myself to be insulted at my house, after all my father used to tell me that if I didn't want his opinion I could leave.

    With that said, I'm having family over for 4th of July (some American excuse to get an extra day off.) It's a bring-your-own-meat BBQ. I'll be serving vegan dishes which they are welcome to enjoy. I will also have vegan burgers which they will pass on (more for me.) If they want to eat some meat they have to bring it.

    I was at my brother's home for Memorial Day and when he found out I was only eating salad (only vegan dish besides the watermelon I brought) he of coursed asked why. They he proceeded to attack me. I just sat there and said, "Is that so?" I kept thinking of my father and since it wasn't my house I figured I was free to leave if I didn't want to stay.

    If I can't be comfortable in my own home, where can I be safe? My brother-in-law knows the scoop. When it's time to eat he usually goes to the deli. I served them a delicious vegetable topped pizza on a pumpkin dough crust. My neices were like, "Yuk! Can we get a real pizza?" Well, can we define real? Of course I was insulted but I simply replied, "It doesn't hurt my feelings, I know it's good." And no, I wasn't serving anything else. Starve, vegan, starve, vegan, starve, vegan. I think it's insane when people don't even TRY food they haven't had before. I think it's called Contempt prior to Investigation.
    Carve a pumpkin, Go to prison! :eek:

  43. #143
    puffin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Cambridgeshire
    Posts
    1,193

    Default Re: help me!

    Why is your dad in charge when it is your house
    I would never let any of my family members bring meat into my house. They either eat vegan food or dont eat at all Go on put your foot down, throw a tantrum if you have to

  44. #144

    Default Re: help me!

    [QUOTE=PumpkinGuy]If I can't be comfortable in my own home, where can I be safe? QUOTE]


    That's how I feel. But because I'm so young, some people think that what I'm doing to my body is bad.

    I want so desperately to give everyone my reasons, but I stop myself. My dad would have a fit, my brother would roll his eyes and start raising his voice at me, and my mother would probably get mad at me for opening my mouth in the first place (she knows how wild they'll react if I take things any further)

    Being vegan shouldn't be stressful at all... I'm extremely happy with my choice...but I hate keeping everything bottled up inside.


    edit: Thanks for the suggestion, puffin, but my father would KILL me if I told him not to make sate for everyone just because I don't approve of it. And I would make it worse if I told him no cold turkey slices for the sandwiches. Also, no ham...no shredded cheese...oh, and no milk in your coffee! (my mother had to make another trip to the market just to get him milk for his coffee because he didn't want soy milk)
    You Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will.

  45. #145

    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    San Jose, CA
    Posts
    30

    Default Re: help me!

    I'm sorry, this must be very hard. Please don't let your brother raise his voice. This is your home, your sanctuary. Let them know this.

    Peace
    Carve a pumpkin, Go to prison! :eek:

  46. #146

    Default Re: help me!

    My intentions are to let everyone know. However, it won't be easy. I need to know what I'm going to say ahead of time. This is why I like talking to everyone here. You are all very smart when it comes to this stuff, and I'm still learning.

    Any good opening lines?
    You Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will.

  47. #147

    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    usa
    Posts
    824

    Default Re: help me!

    Flowers,
    It sounds as though you may be relatively new to veganism (and maybe you recently moved out of your parents' house?) If so, it may take time for your family to get used to the idea of something new in your life. Maybe you could say something like "Don't worry Dad, you'll get used to me making my own decisions in time" or "Holidays/ spending time with you/ etc isn't about the food, it's about the people." I've had to use these myself. We've all experienced strong reactions from family and friends at times. If you don't feel comfortable discussing why you're a vegan than just don't do it - no one questions people on why they eat animal products. Plus, I find that people get very defensive if you point out why you think what they eat is "bad." The time to do it is never when the cards are stacked against you - it's best one on one. And usually only if they are receptive to your opinions.


    However, I know that family members can push your buttons like no one. So, good luck this weekend. We'll be thinking of you.

  48. #148
    tasha's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Nova Scotia, Canada
    Posts
    142

    Default Re: help me!

    Quote flowersandbeads
    it would be too suspicious if I grabbed a veggie burger from subway while they're having a big bbq...I have no say in it.
    You can still pick up some veggie dogs or burgers and ask your dad to through'em on the grill and do his stuff!

  49. #149
    tails4wagging
    Guest

    Default Re: help me!

    If it was me and they insisted on cooking at your house, I would leave them to it say tat-ta and go out somewhere and have a nice vegan meal at a rest,. Tell them to lock up after them and post your (spare) key back through the letter box and make sure they wash up their disgusting dirty dishes after them.

  50. #150
    tasha's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Nova Scotia, Canada
    Posts
    142

    Default Re: help me!

    Quote tails4wagging
    If it was me and they insisted on cooking at your house, I would leave them to it say tat-ta and go out somewhere and have a nice vegan meal at a rest,. Tell them to lock up after them and post your (spare) key back through the letter box and make sure they wash up their disgusting dirty dishes after them.
    Ha! If only it were that easy! I know that with my family if I ever did that---they would torture me!

    I've learned not to grumble when I go to my parents for a BBQ, I just through my veggie burgers on the grill, hoping they don't touch any corpses and mingle (usually, some of my fam steal a buger or two, thinking it is meat, kind of funny).

    However, when they come to my house, I don't allow any meat on my grill or in my pots! Yet, I never tell them they can't bring their food already prepared.(though I sometimes make a snarky remark!)

    It is a tough situation, but it is managable and it does get better with time. I still get remarks from my family, but not half as many as I use to.

Similar Threads

  1. Responding to intelligent criticisms of veganism?
    By Ben Rosenstein in forum QUESTIONS FROM NON-VEGANS
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: Aug 26th, 2014, 10:23 PM
  2. Top 50: Comments from non-vegans
    By Korn in forum Things meat eaters say
    Replies: 216
    Last Post: Mar 24th, 2011, 02:29 PM
  3. Canine teeth, cold climate, respecting animals...
    By spartacus in forum QUESTIONS FROM NON-VEGANS
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: Feb 10th, 2011, 07:07 PM
  4. 176 questions & comments about veganism/vegetarianism
    By Korn in forum VEGANISM - THE MAIN TOPICS
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: Jul 25th, 2008, 08:24 PM
  5. 176 questions & comments about veganism/vegetarianism
    By Korn in forum QUESTIONS FROM NON-VEGANS
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: Jul 25th, 2008, 08:24 PM

Tags for this thread (If you see one or more tags below, click on them if you're looking for similar threads!)

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •