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Thread: Eating Disorder Stories

  1. #1
    Fuhzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Denver, CO, USA

    Default A Story...

    I wanted to tell an ED story from an addiction perspective, similar to how one would tell a story about drug addiction. I think exposure to ED stories could help people see how serious it can be.

    "I throw up again.
    This time it catches me by surprise. All of the sudden I am nauseous, and I know I have to act fast to get the food to come back up. I quickly go into the bathroom and close the door. I turn the air filter on, hoping that maybe it will cover the noise I am about to make. I kneel down, open the toilet lid. Looking inside myself, shocked somehow by what I am doing, I stick my finger inside my mouth, down my throat. I feel the gag, feel the reflex come up and out of me. God what a noise I am making. Some retching noise from my throat. But no food. I'm still feeling nauseous, so I try again. The finger, once more. Again retching, but this time some food. A glimmer of hope feeds my mind. Maybe I can get most of it up. Maybe it won't be so bad. I try again. More retching, more food. And a third time. And a fourth. But on my fourth, nothing comes up. I begin to worry. I don't feel nauseous anymore. I look into the water. The remains of a PB&J, some watermelon, bits of seeds and nuts, random junk. It's not enough, maybe 200 calories at best. Considering how much I just ate, it's nothing. Not nearly enough. I try to vomit again, and again, but now it's just the retching noise, just mucus.
    My housemate knocks on the door, asks if I'm ok. Yeah, I say, I'm fine. She asks if I need anything. No. I flush the toilet, wash my mouth and face, blow my nose. As I come out, she asks if there is anything she can do. I pretend I have been sick. I tell her I just need to lie down. I tell her I will be ok. She goes to make me some tea.
    I lay in my bed, pretending to be sick. All I can think about is how fat I am, and how I will just have to stop eating food. No food tomorrow, I decide. If I have even a little bit, I won't be able to stop. I don't know why. But I know that I am fat.
    She brings me some hot tea, tells me she will be here if I need anything. My stomach starts to hurt now. The tea burns my mouth, my throat, but I know it's calorie-free, so the burning is fine. I want this food out of me, I want to stop feeling fat. I think about searching upstairs for a laxative, something to get it all out, but she is in the kitchen, and she will know something is going on. I think about trying to vomit again, but I can't imagine... I sit, I drink. I wonder what's wrong. Why I have no control.
    I sit, and I drink."
    Last edited by Greentara 1; Sep 11th, 2008 at 08:50 AM. Reason: Clarification

  2. #2
    baffled harpy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004

    Default Re: A Story...

    That's disturbing, Fuhzy If it's a real person in the story, I hope that they went and got some help for their problem, since they seemed to know they had one.

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