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Thread: People commenting about your weight

  1. #1

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    Default People commenting about your weight

    I figured that at least some of the vegans on here would have this problem and hopefully help. I'm 5'4" and 115llbs and very healthy. I lift weights 4 times a week and have been a vegan for a few weeks and a vegetarian for eight months. Although I'm actually really strong and healthy I'm petite and therefore I guess some people think I don't eat.

    Random strangers will come up to me and say in a very rude way that I need to eat or that I'm too skinny. The other day I was promoting beer at a wine/food show (I work in the event promotions industry) and this guy told me to go over to his booth to get food. I was talking to him and asked if he had any vegan dishes and explained the no meat, dairy, egg thing and he practically shouted in a very rude way "NO WONDER YOUR SO SKINNY". At least five people after him throughout the day commented on my weight saying I needed to eat or I was too skinny. People do this ALL the time and even when it doesn't come out rude it just gets annoying after a while.

    Why is it OK to comment on someone's weight if they are skinny but not the other way around? Does anyone have any suggestions of what I can say to these people? I don't want to be rude back but I do want to stand up for myself. I'm just getting so frustrated with this. Thank you in advance for any helpful advice

  2. #2
    CATWOMAN sandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Hi Laura, I get this sometimes too but I just point out to people that I love being able to eat all I like and still stay slim!
    I know not every vegan can do this though, we all have different metabolisms etc but I feel lucky that I don't have to worry about my weight.
    Probably a lot of the people who comment on your weight are secretly envious of you, after all doctors are always telling us it's healthier to be slim!
    I like Sandra, she keeps making me giggle. Daft little lady - Frosty

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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Hi Laura,

    It's very frustrating getting judged by everyone when they find out you're vegan. Just because we are a small minority people seem to think they can judge us a whole on their observations of an individual vegan. Just because they meet one vegan who may not fit their image of what a healthy person should look like they automatically blame the vegan diet. It's like the case of a mal nourished baby who was widely reported in the media as being malnourished by a 'vegan' diet when in reality he was given a diet of apple juice and soy milk. I think people are also trying to find things wrong with us healthwise to make them feel they are right about their food choices.

    I have two suggestions for you. First, just explain to these people that you are just one of the rare people in the western world who is actually within their correct BMI and are in fact very fit and healthy. Another thing I to do is tell the doubters about famous athletes like Carl Lewis, Edwin Moses and Martina Navratilova, who are all vegans or were on vegan diets during their sporting careers. They usually struggle to come up with a comeback for that.

  4. #4
    made of jam Aims's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Quote Laura(Go vegan) View Post
    Why is it OK to comment on someone's weight if they are skinny but not the other way around? Does anyone have any suggestions of what I can say to these people? I don't want to be rude back but I do want to stand up for myself. I'm just getting so frustrated with this. Thank you in advance for any helpful advice
    I can't think of any useful comebacks other than calmly pointing out that you are in fact slim because you look after yourself and are a very healthy person (which has already been suggested).

    I do understand your frustration and know how hurtful it can be to receive those sorts of comments. It's sad when people think because you're small it gives them some sort of permission to make negative comments about your size. Not sure why some people think they have a right to do that, it's plain rude and insulting. I used to be very skinny and got a lot of comments like that, it was really damaging to my self-esteem.

  5. #5
    baffled harpy's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I could supply one or two pictures of tubby vegans, if that would help

  6. #6
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I think it is wrong when people comment on anyone's weight. People make comments to me all the time, not because i am skinny but because i have large muscles. When i mention i work in a gym i always get "yeah i can tell" I dont even lift weights anymore its just natural. Anyways thats not such a problem because i dont really care what people think but it is annoying when people go on about it.

  7. #7
    sugarmouse
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I think people will have a go at a vegan no matter what they look like, if there is anything appearance related that can possibly be commented on at all.

  8. #8
    Karma Junkie vava's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Quote sugarmouse View Post
    I think people will have a go at a vegan no matter what they look like, if there is anything appearance related that can possibly be commented on at all.
    sad but true - why don't you say you are slim because you lift weights 4 times a week - that may be enough to make them back off!
    even perfect isn't perfect - Rubyduby 4th July 08

  9. #9
    Can't cook. Sarah_'s Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I think a lot of it is them being jealous. They say that it looks unhealthy or that you need to eat a burger when in fact they wished they could look like that. I do it myself, lol.
    Either this wallpaper goes, or I do.

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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    it is really weird when people do that and rude too.

    I get it too, people tell me i need to eat more, and that i'm too skinny. When in my opinion, i'm not, i could probably loose like 20 pounds and still be okay, i mean i'm not overweight, but i'm not skinny. Which leads me to believe that it IS the vegan thing.
    anyways it does bug i know how you feel. its hard for me cause i do have a lot of those moments where i think i'm fat and want to loose weight and then someone turns around and calls me skinny, it upsets me for some reason.

    sorry for my rambles.
    "i'm rejecting my reflection, cause i hate the way it judges me."

  11. #11
    Mrs. Beane fondducoeur's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I think people are envious and from their perspective think they are more being complementary then not. They may also think you are sacrificing health in order to be so slim, whereas if it were the other way around, it would not be the case.
    tabbouleh-bouleh

  12. #12
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I always think it's rude to comment on someone's weight. A friend of mine (who recently lost weight and looks GOOD) has been mistaken for a pregnant women like 3 times in the past couple months. She doesn't even look pregnant at all, just someone with love handles, but people are so ignorant. One girl even had to nerve to suggest she try running when she said she wasn't pregnant.

  13. #13
    Can't cook. Sarah_'s Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Just so people don't interprete my previous response as being a rude bitch, I don't mean it in a rude way and I'm not trying to upset people. The way I see it is this: I would love it if people told me I was skinny if I was skinny. I'm trying to compliment in a roundabout way, even though I know that it's sort of sick that society has gotten to the point where you get complimented on not weighing a lot. Anyway, alongside t6hat, I'm like Missbettie. I am in a normal weight range and I'm not fat but I'd like to lose some 20 pounds, and since I am NOT skinny, it offends me when people call me that. I guess I never figured thin people had problems with people commenting on their thinness. Now that I understand that though, I'll be more conscious of said svelt-figured person's feelings.
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  14. #14
    Cookie Monster RachelJune's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I think it's rude whatever the person's size. It just seems more acceptable to comment on someone being "skinny" Everyone likes to be told they're slim, but being told to "eat more before you waste away" or "can tell you must be vegan, you're so skinny" is downright rude and inappropriate. I've had it happen to me a lot too, and the majority of offenders have been women (although some men too).

    In one of my old workplaces my supervisor was amongst the worst of them - every single day she would make snide comments about my weight. A couple of other female colleagues would then join in. Invariably they would also comment on my veganism and that I should eat meat Funnily enough though, the guys I worked with there would always try and stick up for me

    Being a bit more confident these days than I was back then, I'd probably answer back if anyone did it now. I like some of the comments here, think I may go away and rehearse them, lol.

    P.S. I'm also quite insecure sometimes and so comments like those do upset me. I often wish I could be a bit curvier, but my body shape is the way it is.
    "Born on the same planet, Covered by the same skies..."

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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    You have have some of my curves Rachel, i have plenty to go around

  16. #16
    Cookie Monster RachelJune's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Quote puffin View Post
    You have have some of my curves Rachel, i have plenty to go around
    Sorry for commenting I've met you Puffin and you're gorgeous!

    N.B. just read your post re the gym comments - how rude!
    "Born on the same planet, Covered by the same skies..."

  17. #17
    Karma Junkie vava's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    when I was younger and 34B I always wanted a 36C chest - I now have my wish - however I also have a backside to match!
    even perfect isn't perfect - Rubyduby 4th July 08

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    Quote RachelJune View Post
    Sorry for commenting I've met you Puffin and you're gorgeous!
    thank you. I still have big hips and a large arse so i dont want to be selfish and keep em to myself

  19. #19
    CATWOMAN sandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Quote vava View Post
    when I was younger and 34B I always wanted a 36C chest - I now have my wish - however I also have a backside to match!

    You'll be the envy of a lot of women then Vava!
    Isn't it the latest thing to have big boobs and a bum like J-lo's?
    I've heard about women having bum implants to look like her!
    I like Sandra, she keeps making me giggle. Daft little lady - Frosty

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    Karma Junkie vava's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Quote sandra View Post
    You'll be the envy of a lot of women then Vava!
    Isn't it the latest thing to have big boobs and a bum like J-lo's?
    I've heard about women having bum implants to look like her!
    when they start having belly inserts sweet face - then I shall be a style icon!
    even perfect isn't perfect - Rubyduby 4th July 08

  21. #21
    CATWOMAN sandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I like Sandra, she keeps making me giggle. Daft little lady - Frosty

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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Quote sandra View Post
    Isn't it the latest thing to have big boobs and a bum like J-lo's?
    I've heard about women having bum implants to look like her!

    Yay i am up to date, well except the big boobs.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Quote Sarah_ View Post
    Just so people don't interprete my previous response as being a rude bitch, I don't mean it in a rude way and I'm not trying to upset people. The way I see it is this: I would love it if people told me I was skinny if I was skinny. I'm trying to compliment in a roundabout way, even though I know that it's sort of sick that society has gotten to the point where you get complimented on not weighing a lot. Anyway, alongside t6hat, I'm like Missbettie. I am in a normal weight range and I'm not fat but I'd like to lose some 20 pounds, and since I am NOT skinny, it offends me when people call me that. I guess I never figured thin people had problems with people commenting on their thinness. Now that I understand that though, I'll be more conscious of said svelt-figured person's feelings.

    YES! exactly! thank you for understanding!!!
    "i'm rejecting my reflection, cause i hate the way it judges me."

  24. #24
    cobweb
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    i think it's just really rude to comment on someone else's body atall really.

  25. #25
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    i feel like i ought to comment here seeing as i am the forum fatso

    actually i don't really know what to say. i think when you're quite overweight, people see you as invisible..the most i get from people about being vegan is that 'i look well on it'

    i've had people in the past say to me i'd look alright if i wasnt so fat..and i've taken crappy comments like that because i've been too unassertive to say anything. these days, mood dependant, i'd tell them to go shit off.
    but mostly i avoid folks down to my own insecurity. lolz.

    sorry..i can't help with anything to do with what to say..but you yourself know that you're healthy, so what the chuff has it to do with anyone ese at all ever
    ahronli sed ah dunit so thid tek thuh cheyus graytuh offa mi nihbles

  26. #26
    BlackCats
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I have had people comment on my weight when I was a lot more overweight than I am now. I also got comments when I was about a stone thinner than I am now, "you look ill and pale, do you think it is because you're vegan" etc. I have always had annoying comments made about the size of my breasts, from men and women. I wish people would shut the f*ck up personally. Lol.

    At least this thread makes me realise that lots of other people get irritating comments too. Saying that it wouldn't surprise me if I had made comments about other people's weight at some point in my life so probably I must have offended someone else with a thoughtless remark.

  27. #27
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Oh God.... It's annoying isn't it? When I'm thin, people look at me with worry and say "are you sure you're eating enough?"... I mean, who the fuck cares if I am or not?!! Then when I gain 10 lbs, I feel like a fatass cause I cant wear my clothes! "Sarah sure you're buying jeans again?... What size are those?" Who the fuck cares!! Really stupid people.

    I would never comment on weight unless I thought the person was endangering their health. Even so, not like what I would say could change anything. To me it seems like you're very fit Laura, just tell them you're in shape and eat healthily. And dont take it to heart, people will always have something to say.


    EDIT: EmmaP!!!

  28. #28
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    If I had 10 for every time someone commented on my weight (6' / 119lbs), I'd be a millionaire. I think people assume it's okay to comment on the weight of skinny people.

  29. #29
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...eels-show.html

    scroll down the the part where there are three girls in a row with the girl on the left in a maroon top - look at the one on the far left in the maroon top - what do you think - if you were her mum would you be worried?
    even perfect isn't perfect - Rubyduby 4th July 08

  30. #30
    baffled harpy's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Yes, I certainly would - poor thing. Generally, it looks as if ?Prada is due a visit from the Health & Safety people.

  31. #31
    puca
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    He probably felt embarassed because he didn't prepare any vegan dishes, or didn't know what it was to be vegan and that was his way of defending himself.

  32. #32
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I've never received comments on my weight from strangers, but I do get them from people I know.

    My mum and aunties used to strongly insinuate that I should lose a few kilos. At the same time, my dad would say that could use fattening up...What's a girl to do?!

  33. #33

    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Apparently i'm tiny. I'm not, I weight just under 9 stone and i'm 5"6. I'm a size 6. I exercise, but I also eat like a horse. But yet people ask "are you sure you're eating enough?"

  34. #34
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Quote Laura(Go vegan) View Post
    ...Why is it OK to comment on someone's weight if they are skinny but not the other way around? ...
    In my opinion it isn't okay to comment on people's weight whatever their weight is, unless they have solicited your opinion or you know them pretty well and have very serious concerns for their health. Unfortunately most people don't seem to feel that way. Trust me, I know from personal experience that people don't mind telling strangers they think they're too fat either
    "If you don't have a song to sing you're okay, you know how to get along humming" Waltz (better than fine) - Fiona Apple

  35. #35

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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I feel really sorry for all you guys. =[ I'm not trying to sound pretentious.
    Since I'm overweight, like a few other people said, you're pretty much ignored. I'm not one to take likely to being invisible. But I've never really had anyone make fun of me for my weight. There were a few comments here or there through middle and high school, but I guess I was never within a range of gossip to get to know what people though of me.

  36. #36
    Karma Junkie vava's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I think people think it even if they don't say it. I thought it yesterday - apologies but I was provoked. We were in the veggie restaurant and I was tucking into my lovely vegan lunch and a lady waiting to pay for her meal struck up a conversation with some folks next to her. They were saying that they were not vegetarian but they still liked to come into the caf. She said enthusiastically as if trying to score points oh yes we are HUGE meat eaters but I still like to come here. I really wanted to say - that is why you have a backside like a cow then. She had an enormous bottom - one of those bottoms that you think i wonder where that person buys her clothes.

    I know - I know it is vile of me but like I say making comments verbally is the thin end of the wedge and you never know what folks are thinking although in a way I suppose you do cos when folk are thinking that sort of thing I would suspect they would probably stare for a while. By the way - I am overweight- just in case anyone is wondering......I suppose given the chance - the cow lady would say that is because I eat too much vegan rubbish and in this case - that would be right.
    even perfect isn't perfect - Rubyduby 4th July 08

  37. #37
    journey
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I agree, it's so very annoying when people comment on your weight, with concern. If you're healthy thin, working out with muscles, you get this whether or not you're vegan. Add vegan to it, and they automatically assume you have an eating disorder.

    I'm not sure what it is, maybe a combination - jealous that they're not so healthy, distorted view of what healthy is since so many people are overweight today...

    Yes, as others have said, we'd be called rude to express concern about someone's weight who was overweight...

  38. #38
    buttons's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I went out for my birthday yesterday (sidenote: Nepalese food= yum!), and failed the previously-mentioned Aunty Test. "You've put on weight since Christmas!" She said it like it was a good thing, though.
    "Keep your friends close and your enemies so close... you're almost kissing."

  39. #39
    Slightly Crazy 1gentlemaorispirit's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I have a fuller figure and when people discover I'm vegan, the first words to fall out of their mouths is: "But how can you be so big when you don't eat meat?" My answer is simple! GENETICS! My mix of cultural heritages means that I'm genetically fuller figured.

    I do Yoga and walk most places I go, and swim 2 to 3 times a week. I've also been told I don't "move/walk" like a fat person, more of a person half my size. Whatever that means?
    Last edited by 1gentlemaorispirit; Feb 16th, 2009 at 12:40 PM. Reason: Spelling corections again, lol
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  40. #40

    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Well, I'm about 5'10" (used to be 5'10" 1/2, but dang it the scoliosis...) and about 160 lbs...so I'm on the chubby side of normal is how I'd describe it. But my ribs stick out, though it's really only noticeable if I'm wearing skin-tight clothing (certainly not anorexic or anything though, because aside from weight, my thighs and belly have a bit of blurb on them).

    And I get called fat all the time - it's so ridiculous. Yeah I could do with some more exercise, particularly when the searing pain subsides a bit and I can do some of the lower-intensity stuff again without fearing of dropping dead. Maybe it's because, with my long leg size, the pants that I wear are like size 16 and there's always about a 4-6 inch gap in front of my stomach if I stretch my pants out in front of me.

  41. #41
    cobweb
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    i'm fat, i look like a slice of cake on legs
    if people comment on it i sit on them.

  42. #42
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Quote BlackCats View Post
    I have had people comment on my weight when I was a lot more overweight than I am now. I also got comments when I was about a stone thinner than I am now, "you look ill and pale, do you think it is because you're vegan" etc. I have always had annoying comments made about the size of my breasts, from men and women. I wish people would shut the f*ck up personally. Lol.

    At least this thread makes me realise that lots of other people get irritating comments too. Saying that it wouldn't surprise me if I had made comments about other people's weight at some point in my life so probably I must have offended someone else with a thoughtless remark.
    My dad always comments on my weight. He always says things like "oh you dont take after you mum and dont have big bones" or "have you lost weight" or "dont lose any more weigh will you, you will start to look ill" I am a size 10, not exactly ill looking

  43. #43

    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I don't know what size I should be - my pants length are about 18, but my waist is a lot smaller than that, by several inches. But I also have big hips (mostly because of the big bones, but I also have a fair bit of fat there!) I have worn everything from size 12 to size 18, and none of it fits well!

    Also, I've never understood how people were able to tell when somebody was underweight, unless they were not wearing a lot of clothes, or they saw that they were both thin AND refusing a lot of food for no good reason. But I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm faceblind, or because of my low vision, or both.

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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Quote cobweb View Post
    i'm fat, i look like a slice of cake on legs
    if people comment on it i sit on them.
    hahaha, adorable!


    I get weight comments too b/c I'm thin, Laura; sometimes as harsh as accusing me of anorexia. I think it's very sad that some think it's appropriate to trivialize eating disorders while commenting on another person's body.

    When confronted with this though, I just tell people it's rude and inappropriate. If they really have grated on me, I launch into a thoughtful lecture on entitlement and women's bodies.

  45. #45
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    I'm a victim of this as well, people just dont realise that saying things like "go eat some lettuce" or "your a stick" ra ra, that it's just as hurtful as being comment about being overweight.
    i even have my own mother saying im anorexic or "skinny" as the first thing she says to me in the morning and straight away i'm in a bad mood.

    It's uncalled for.

  46. #46
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    yes a couple of years ago I lost 3 stones in about a year and everyone i'd meet kept telling me i was skinny and to stop losing weight etc etc - i was 9.5 stones (hardly skinny!). it was so annoying. i was determined to lose more to annoy them but alas 2 yrs later i've put on a stone grrrr. (but no one's told me to stop gaining weight!!!)

  47. #47

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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    well i find the next time you see that person and saying "ooh aren't you lucky being fat?" "my don't you fill that dress out well" and "you must tell me how you manage to keep so big when i find it hard to put on an ounce. is it all the meat or do you eat a lot of cake?" tends to work quite well, particularly if you can keep your voice sweet and say it with a smile.

  48. #48

    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Quote Daffodil View Post
    yes a couple of years ago I lost 3 stones in about a year and everyone i'd meet kept telling me i was skinny and to stop losing weight etc etc - i was 9.5 stones (hardly skinny!). it was so annoying. i was determined to lose more to annoy them but alas 2 yrs later i've put on a stone grrrr. (but no one's told me to stop gaining weight!!!)
    Same here. I lost about 6 stones in a year (I'm 6ft so I didn't look that big to begin with). I stopped losing weight about a year ago but so many people still come up to me with the 'concerned face', saying "are you still losing? Just stop now, ok?". Why is it fine to be rude to people who have actually benefited themselves by losing weight but not to overweight people who are more in need of it than me?

  49. #49
    JC
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    I get this problem, only the other way round. I'm not fat, but i'm not skinny either, and people seem to think that i should be skinny if i'm vegan, and they feel fit to tell me i'm well rounded, considering. I'm very sensitive about weight issues and i find this incredibly rude. I would never comment on someone's weight unprompted, ever. If they didn't know i was vegan, there's no way on earth they'd say that. Hmph.

  50. #50
    buttons's Avatar
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    Default Re: People commenting about your weight

    Quote jimmeh View Post
    . Why is it fine to be rude to people who have actually benefited themselves by losing weight but not to overweight people who are more in need of it than me?
    I think you'll find rude people weighing in (heh) on things regardless of the size of their target.

    I've experienced a small amount of meds-related weight gain recently (1-3kg), and I simply cannot wait for the Filipino Inquisition* to kick off over Christmas. Will it be just comments this time, or will there be physical inquiries made? I'll soon find out!

    * The aforementioned Aunty Test from some on my mum's side of the family. Everyone always expects the Filipino Inquisition!
    "Keep your friends close and your enemies so close... you're almost kissing."

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