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Thread: Loosing my vegan rhythm

  1. #1
    ViveVegan's Avatar
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    Default Loosing my vegan rhythm

    Hey everyone,

    I am sure that this is sort of weird but I can't think of better people to ask then other vegans.

    I have been vegan for about three years, I am sixteen. I was Vegetarian since I was eleven. When I started out, I was passionate and dedicated about this diet. I had no problem rejecting non-vegan food, loved making my own. I was vegan Loud and Proud. I wanted to have a vegan bakery, and raise a little home of vegan kidlets and marry a vegan dude while protesting animal rights.
    Lately, I have been loosing some of that umph and finding things tempting I know aren't vegan. When people ask me to defend my views, instead of that constant state of being ready to debate, I am kind of like "I really don't feel like talking about it". My kitchen is being redone so I kinda eat all the crappy vegan foods for the past two months like Boca Burgers and Peanut butter sandwiches instead of cooking yummie healthy stuff, so maybe thats it. My brother also stopped being vegetarian last month, so I am a little put off by the fact I lost my best veg buddy.

    However, I still DO feel strongly about the animal rights, and the reasons for being vegan. I am just wondering if anyone else has been through a phase where they considered giving up veganism? Or does anyone have any ideas on how to get back into the pride and love I once had for this diet? Or is it just time to give it up?
    Thanks for the advice! :]

  2. #2
    baffled harpy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    Hello - Sounds as if you need to get back to eating decent food - could you try eating more raw fruit and veg as you don't need a kitchen for those?

    Maybe you could also watch some of those horrible videos about farming and slaughter, if you can face them. I don't watch them myself but the mere thought of them makes me feel determined to avoid those products!

    ETA you don't need to talk about it if you don't feel like it - I think the urge for constant debate wears off after a while in a lot of people!

  3. #3

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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    I'd say you need to meet some vegan or vegetarian friends, they will motivate you.
    Look for some vegan or vegetarian social groups in your area, and go to the events.
    Also, once you get your own food budget it will be easier to cook vegan.
    Maybe get a subcription to a vegan magazine to keep you interested.
    See my local diary ... http://herbwormwood.blogspot.com/

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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    I think what you are going through is perfectly normal, and should you continue to be vegan it will probably happen again! Harpy makes a good point - we don't always feel like shouting veganism from the rooftops, especially when we're constantly being asked to explain and justify ourselves. Try to think back to your reasons for going vegan in the first place, watch PetaTV or Fast Food Nation, or think of the cruelty inherent in the meat and dairy industries if you need to. But having your kitchen done and your brother stopping being vegan certainly can't have helped. Stick in there, and I'm sure this phase will pass, but if it doesn't, well... ultimately it's up to you to decide what you want to do. If you need any advice, we're all here for you. Good luck!

  5. #5
    Rentaghost Marrers's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    I went through a short phase where I thought about going back to be veggie - I'd just run out of energy and it felt like everything was a fight, especially eating out. Even veggie restaurants in London seemed clueless (had never heard of wine not being veggie let alone vegan etc - this was quite a few years back).
    The last straw was a dreadful experience in Tearooms Des Artistes restaurant in Battersea where we were verbally abused and intimidated by the staff and other customers after complaining that there had been milk in the 'vegan' soup whilst out with a large group including non veggie friends.
    However when people found out how I was feeling they were shocked and I realised my decisions would actually affect others too (as your brothers decision has affected you). I also knew I would feel even worse if I went back to being veggie so I decided I was not going to let negative bullies and ignorance affect my principals.

    I hope you feel differently soon but I would definitely hold off making any drastic decisions until you see how you feel once you get your kitchen back.
    Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything. - Floyd Dell

  6. #6
    Making changes Est's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    I agree with everyone above. The energy and passion you once felt won't last forever, just like the "honeymoon" period of relationships doesn't generally last forever!

    I've only been vegan since February and I already find myself saying to people when they ask me about it that I don't want to debate my lifestyle choices (I say it nicely, though!) as it gets so tiring after a while - and repetitive.

    My kitchen is also in a state of chaos - when we moved into this house 7 years ago, we ripped everything out ready to redecorate and then... just never got round to it! We have some base units and a freestanding cooker, but there is DIY tools and bare walls and junk everywhere. It gets very depressing and makes me not feel like baking or cooking.

    What I've found helpful in the meantime (redecoration now scheduled for spring 09!) is to cook easier things like stirfrys with rice, or noodles with a quick peanut sauce I can tip over them. I tend to eat fruit at breakfast and also as dessert at lunch, which is really quick. After a few weeks, you start to develop a taste for it. Choc chip cookies now taste too sweet and yucky! Tortilla wraps filled with masses of salad and Plamil mayo is very fast too. Smoothies can be whizzed up in minutes.

    Having said that, there's nowt wrong with some junk food - but as you're finding, when your energy is low anyway it tends to sap you even more.

    I hope you can get through this. We've absolutely made the right choice for our bodies and our health, as well as the animals and the environment. But that doesn't mean we have to feel passionate and energetic about it all the time! Stick with it... we are all here to support you x

  7. #7
    seitan
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    just remember, giving up on veganism means giving up on animals. could you really live with that?
    it sucks, but we HAVE to remind ourselves of the attrocities.

  8. #8
    cobweb
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    just adding agreement, really...............i first went vegan in 1993, and i changed my entire lifestyle to fit in with my veganism .

    A few years later i had some really severe personal problems, and somewhere along the line i lost my energy and passion for life, let alone vegansim. Then i met my husband who had given up meat but didn't really 'get' veganism. He took me under his wing but by that time i had begun to think i had plenty more to worry about in life than spending all my time and energy explaining veganism. I went back to being veggie and stayed that way for some time .

    It was speaking to someone about their child's dairy allergy that made me go back to veganism - i was explaining to her about dairy free 'alternatives' and i suddenly wondered why the HELL was i eating dairy foods? (i feel sick now to think of it actually).

    I think cases of the 'vegan wobbles' are quite common and understandable. Like others said, go back to your vegan roots, get back into the whole concept and you'll be ok! . Good luck.

  9. #9
    Fervent vegan DiaShel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    The first couple of months I was vegan, I thought about the fact all the time. Eventually it simmered down and just became sort of natural. I don't think about the fact that I'm vegan so much anymore, it's just kind of automatic when I go to a store to check labels etc. It's still a major part of who I am, but only part. I think that's ok, if we were on all the time about it we'd get burned out. It's just important to figure out which battles are worth fitting and which aren't.
    "To reduce suffering means to reduce the amount of ignorance, the basic affliction with us." -Thich Nhat Hanh

  10. #10
    Eager Beaver philfox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    Quote ViveVegan View Post
    When I started out, I was passionate and dedicated about this diet.
    Or does anyone have any ideas on how to get back into the pride and love I once had for this diet?
    I think the above quotes from your post says a bit about your vegan wobbles you are currently experiencing. Do you see it as a diet to follow? Or is it about lifestyle choices? I found veganism hard when I saw it as a diet more than a lifestyle choice. I ended up eating meat and then became vegetarian for a while I've always found diets difficult, but then I just became more aware of how passionate I felt about animal rights. Meeting a vegan at uni reminded me of all those reasons why I became vegan years ago, and I now, most of the time don't care that my dinner when I go out is mostly green and limp, or I can't just nip to the local shop for vegan spread (who needs it any way? ) and no one bats an eyelid now when I read labels on everything.

    Sixteen is awfully young to be feeling alienated, so perhaps look into joining a local group, animal rights, environmental issues etc. Are you studying at college? If so there might be something there, if not, how about it? Even if it's a short course in something you'll be out meeting people.

    Relationship wise, just remember, this isn't a perfect world. I struggled to come to terms with my partner's reluctance to go vegan and just stay veggie and it's caused all sorts of issues. If you find a vegan partner, awesome, but just don't get too hung up on ideals in other people you can't control.

    Wibbles are natural, passion wavers, or at least the reasons some times feel distant. But the cause is always there, the animals need us to take a stand for them. This is what I have realised over the last few years. Don't beat yourself up. Goodluck.
    Vegan Forum: keeping me sane in the world of the ignorant.

  11. #11
    JC
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    i'm going through the exact same thing i think my problem is that i'm sick of feeling 'different', of feeling awkward at every social situation. i never go out to eat with my friends, or join in when they cook for each other. i'm sick of reading labels, especially when people look at you as if you're some calorie-obsessed weirdo! often i think it'd be so much easier if i was just vegetarian, but i couldn't pyhsically do it. i just want to feel normal!!!

  12. #12
    cobweb
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    JC i know what you mean, sometimes you feel you can't win, even when you decided you don't want to discuss your veganism it always comes up somehow and then people get all funny about it..........i'm proud to be 'different' but it can be such hard work!.

  13. #13
    baffled harpy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    That's a shame, JC, that you can't go out to eat with your friends. Maybe you could try persuading them to go somewhere where you'll be able to get something? Or phone up the places they normally go to and see if they'll do something for you?

    I'm sure I wouldn't have kept it up if I couldn't have socialised with my existing circle. Sometimes it does mean eating weird meals, and/or taking things on trust, which I know some people are reluctant to do. But to me it's better than chucking in the towel.

  14. #14

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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    Quote JC View Post
    i just want to feel normal!!!
    Honey - you, me and the rest of the vegan world! That's why we keep seeking each other out, or slipping down to Bristol, Brighton and Brum where there are more 'out' vegans! But you know what, if you did decide to eat flesh again, that also wouldn't make you normal now - because you've done the thinking part and you know it's cruel. In fact, you'd be doing yourself such a dis-service because you know you'd be living a lie all the time.

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    hydrophilic tipsy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    Quote ViveVegan View Post
    Or is it just time to give it up?
    no no no!

    you just need a vegan refresher course!!!
    the aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, dunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.
    -henry miller

  16. #16
    ViveVegan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    wow, thanks for all the feedback everyone!

    I think my real problem is I feel like everyone is pushing me telling me it's just a phase I am going through. I will "Grow" out of it.
    The root of this whole lifestyle (I referred to it as a diet before, as someone mentioned, its just a habit that I refer to what I eat as the diet, but if I am talking about the clothing and make-up ext too, its my lifestyle) I think generally is about CARING and compassion. I am wondering if you other vegans feel like people constantly calling you weird and questioning you for caring, is sad. For the biggest supporters in my life telling me I will grow out of caring about things important to me kills me. Do we loose our drive as we get older?
    So after analyzing this for a little longer, I have decided to keep myself driven. I only know two other vegans in life, One sees me as her "Vegan Arch Enemy" and trys to outvegan me all the time (I think it's kind of funny, like seriously, wtf) the other is going to be joining an animal activism club with me though we dont talk much. So maybe I'll work though this fine in the end.
    I really appreciate the support on these message boards, its so great to feel like we aren't insane or alone in this outlook on life and kindness.

    Thanks again! <3
    Em

  17. #17
    cobweb
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    hi,
    it is hard when you're that young, people always think everything is some kind of 'phase'
    glad you're feeling stronger again

  18. #18
    mangababe rianaelf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    IM soooo glad you decided to stay with it, you won't regret it

    It doesn't matter what other people think or say or do, its how you feel that matters and knowing that in the spring when the newborn calves and lambs are all around, you know that you shall never be responsible for taking them from their mothers, for stealing their milk, for killing them before they have even had a chance to live and all the other many many things that we vegans don't do, whether there are any vegans nearby or not, just think of the animals, get some pictures of cute lambs and calves and little chickies and look at them wen you are feeling unsure!

    I know you can do it, but don't forget to feed yours elf properly!! xx
    holding onto the dream that we imagined and painted forever more: elvinridge.co.uk

  19. #19
    baffled harpy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loosing my vegan rythm

    Fighting talk, ViveVegan

    Quote ViveVegan View Post
    I think my real problem is I feel like everyone is pushing me telling me it's just a phase I am going through. I will "Grow" out of it. The root of this whole lifestyle (I referred to it as a diet before, as someone mentioned, its just a habit that I refer to what I eat as the diet, but if I am talking about the clothing and make-up ext too, its my lifestyle) I think generally is about CARING and compassion. I am wondering if you other vegans feel like people constantly calling you weird and questioning you for caring, is sad. For the biggest supporters in my life telling me I will grow out of caring about things important to me kills me.
    I don't recall anyone calling me weird though no doubt they think I am (not just because of veganism either ). I suppose some people sometimes don't want to think about the "caring" aspect of it - e.g. because they can't be bothered to go vegan themselves or don't want to feel guilty - and just see it as an inconvenience. They'll get used to it once they see you mean business, though.

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