Bringing the kids lunches to daycare "just isn't working out"

[MamaVeg]

Ok, so I have been packing my younger children's lunches for daycare for the past week because I am trying get them used to vegan eating. My younger children are 3 and 18 months.

The problem is.....the food they eat at home now the daycare lady is saying they just will not eat it at her house. I told her I am having them become vegan because those are my ethics, etc. Today she told me that bringing their lunches isn't working out. She said they are not eating anything I make and want the food they were used to eating there, which was vegetarian, but not vegan so she has been giving them Kraft macaroni and cheese and american slices grilled cheese grilled with butter when they don't eat my food. I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to her about why I want my kids to be vegan, but she either just doesn't respect it or doesn't understand. I can see her not wanting my kids to go hungry, but I really don't know what to do now.

What would you do if your kids weren't eating what you packed for them? That's what she says is happening, but I don't see why they can't have peanut butter and jelly or something. I try to really feed them healthy, organic food anyways and Kraft macaroni and cheese is just full of chemicals and I have told her this! It's so frustrating - ESPECIALLY when they eat this food just fine for me at home.

Any suggestions? Please?

[Stu]

Have you asked the kids about it?

[MamaVeg]

Well, the kids are only 3 and 18 months, so they are not really old enough to ask or make their own decisions.

[harpy]

Are there any other children at the daycare place? Was just wondering if yours may be seeing other children's food and wanting the same? If it's that (or even if they're just remembering what they had before) perhaps you could make some sort of vegan macaroni cheese substitute for the carer to heat up?

We have quite a few parents here so I'm sure some of them will be along with helpful suggestions in a minute!

[MamaVeg]

Yes, there are other children there, and that is what the problem is.

My 3 year old is really the problem because he loves macaroni and cheese. I know I can bring vegan slices for grilled cheese, but I was also thinking of getting the Uncheese Cookbook so I can make my own vegan macaroni and cheese or just a cheese sauce to pour over the cooked elbow macaroni. I found a few recipes on here for baked mac and cheese. I don't think it's up to the daycare provider to decide that my kids shouldn't be vegans and just take it upon herself to give them Kraft mac n cheese.

[harpy]

I don't think it's up to the daycare provider to decide that my kids shouldn't be vegans and just take it upon herself to give them Kraft mac n cheese.

I quite agree - however producing a vegan version of what she wants to give them may be a way to get the message across without a big showdown. Maybe if you hit on a winning formula you can freeze portions so it's not too much of a pain for you to keep making it...

I sometimes make a fake cheese sauce that is basically just white sauce with nutritional yeast and seasonings added - that's quite simple to do. I don't know if it would fool your kids though

[MamaVeg]

Well, I'm up for trying anything. Thanks for that. I am actually going to get some nutritional yeast tonight.

[Cherry]

I had (leek and) maccaroni cheese for lunch today, and very nice it was too. I do the baked kind - boiled maccaroni with cheese sauce that is just white sauce with a block of soya cheese grated into it.

Do you think there's an element of your daycare lady not really giving the vegan food a fair go, or just being resistant to change? Or do you think your children are really being that stubborn? It would be interesting to go with them to her house and see if they will eat!

I would feel a little bit annoyed about this. If you don't want them to eat kraft maccaroni and cheese full of chemicals (not to mention the dairy), then they shouldn't be eating it. You're their mother and it's your right.

[missbettie]

^ yummy. its pretty similar. just make a nice sauce and put it over ur noodles. at least u are starting them young, their taste are still impressionable.

[MamaVeg]

I think the daycare lady just doesn't care. They have been going there for a year and were vegetarians when they started. I remember once a while back that she told me "Anthony really won't eat meat, huh? I tried giving him some pasta with meat sauce and he wouldn't eat it". I had a BIG talk with her about that AND when I found out that she was giving him spaghetti o's with meatballs, but just taking the meatballs out. I told her it is an animal rights issue, and I do not want meat touching anything they eat.

By her saying that they are not eating anything I pack is not true. The only thing Anthony (my 3 year old) didn't eat was a boca chicken patty and some peanut butter crackers because he wanted the mac and cheese. He's at that age where he's picky too, but a phone call would have been nice to tell me he didn't want the boca patty and ask me what she should do. My daughter hasn't been eating well all week because she has a cold so......I don't know, I think I will need to be switching daycare providers.

And I totally agree that this is the perfect age to turn them vegan because they aren't totally addicted to dairy, etc.

[Gorilla]

i'd find a new day care if i were you.

[missbettie]

thats so silly. daycare providers should be accomidating. especially considering if you are providing them food, its saving them money! Isn't the food cost covered in what you pay the provider? so you are paying what every other parent pays including food cost yet you are still bring ur children their own food?

on a side note its very frustrating how people think that a child having a vegan diet is unhealthy. i understand kids need more nutrients than full grown adults but I was under the immpression that the vegan diet provided everything you needed. not to mention many vegans have a better understanding of what nutrients you need because for the most part we research what food we can and actually eat....whereas most omni's have no idea...how are they treating their kids better and giving them more nutrients by giving them processed cheese and hormone infected beef?

I ask you HOW!!!!! ugh....sorry Mamaveg.

[harpy]

"Anthony really won't eat meat, huh? I tried giving him some pasta with meat sauce and he wouldn't eat it".

What a nerve!

[twinkle]

That's a real shame. I can see why you would be reluctant to take them away if they've been going all this time and food is the only issue... but then there's the issue of the daycare lady not seeming to care about your opions too.

How easy would it be to find an *actual* vegetarian/vegan provider? or at least an omni who advertises that they are sypathetic to our ideals?

[Bunny]

Oh How frustrating for you! She is wrong. I think you either need to find a new daycare arrangement or be firmer with her. She sounds threatened by it. Tell her in no uncertain terms that your children eat this food at home and she should see that they eat it at her house. It infuriates me so much!

I personally think people have got the veggie thing all wrong. Health wise I can see the argument for meat (I don't agree with it, but I can see some logic in it). There is no case for dairy! It isn't natural to eat. I even thought that when I was still eating/drinking dairy! Why are people so attached to it?!

I have 3 children. They eat vegan happily, although they aren't vegan. (Family issues - don't ask!). Things that go down well are (as you said) peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, rice salads, also a fantastic site is the vegan lunch box. This woman prepares a beautiful lunch for her son everyday and he eats it all fine.

The bottom line is that she should do what you ask, as you are a) the mother and b) paying her!

Keep us posted!

[MamaVeg]

Wow, I'm glad I'm getting such a good response on here! I'm on the "veggie boards" and I have some people actually telling me I am an abusive mother because I make it seem like I don't care about my son's feelings in eating macaroni and cheese! THAT is frustrating too! He's 3 - of course I care, that's why I don't want him having dairy - which is why I will be making vegan mac and cheese in just a minute!

[cobweb]

abusive my arse!

it's abusive to feed your kids dairy crap!

i think i would be making my case very, very clear with this lady, whilst also quietly looking around for a different day care.

[MamaVeg]

I brought the kids back to day care today and packed them PLENTY of different food choices - all that I know they like.

When I dropped them off, I told her, just give them everything and let them pick what they want - if they don't eat, please call me. She said they eat at 11:30. By 12:30, I still hadn't heard anything, so I called to see how it went. She said they didn't want to eat any of it, and that my son wanted the pasta she was giving the other kids. She said I am making her job too hard because she had to make my son a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which he STILL didn't want to eat. Yet, she still didn't call me. She said he eventually at the PB&J. I told her don't make them anything extra, if he is hungry enough, he will eat what I packed.

THEN (the nerve!) she proceeds to say, "I mean, don't you think that this is just too much for them? It's like you have them on a diet or something." I was aggrevated at this. I said, "it's not a diet, it's a way of life." I shouldn't have to defend the way I want to raise my children to her.

Needless to say, I will be interviewing another daycare provider on Monday who is more than happy to accommodate my children's needs.

[cobweb]

............ah, so the truth is really out, it's her with the attitude, not them!.

and isn't that a bit early for them to be eating, maybe they're not properly hungry at that time?.

[MamaVeg]

I know! That's what I was thinking - because they sleep late, so they eat breakfast around 9 a.m., they are not ready for lunch at 11:30! Even when they are home with me, they don't really want to eat lunch until about 12:30 - 1:00!

[Marrers]

I hope you find someone else soon MamaVeg - I'd be sooo furious to have my views disregarded like that. You are paying her for a service!

[Bunny]

Grrr! What a frustrating woman!

I hope it works out for you with the new care provider