Woke up - poked nose out of winter strength duvet and piles of blankets, it feels like -12 in the bedroom.
Went to get a bath (was REALLY looking forward to it) to find no more and no less than an inch of hot water left, I now realise why my aunt and uncle in the country in the 1960's had the 'one inch' water rule and freaked out if you ran a deep bath because using up all the hot water means going outside to chop wood to get the temperature right up.
In a fit of petulance and rebellion I refuse to get dressed until the water is hot enough for a boiling hot bath at least three feet deep so I go outside with the wheelbarrow to the wood shed which is under several inches of mud as it's rained overnight.
Go outside in a pair of pyjamas that should have been burnt many years ago and a paint splattered jumper with holes in, mad hair and yesterdays make up panda fashion, wearing Corum's size 10 wellies - look like a mad cat woman. One of the neighbours comes out but goes back in again pretty sharpish when I give her a,"What the hell are you looking at" stare.
Fill barrow full of wood, negotiate a path back to the house past numerous obstacles - the cat ramp to the cat flap which is there because the cat flap is three feet off the ground, the narrow gap between the shed and the wall which takes the skin off my knuckles, the pile of bricks which Corum left there for no apparent reason, the trailer full of wood in the way which I can't move because it has around a ton of branches in it.
Get wood into house depositing piles of fungus, woodlice and rotting wood debris everywhere because we got that lot of wood from the forest, pick off all the slugs, snails, spiders and woodlice and scrutinise each piece for wildlife. The ash tray is full so I take it to the front door to empty it and open the front door - it is very windy! Go back in wearing an ash jumpsuit.
Get fire going, go back to bed with electric heat pad purchased for the cat.
Bet you wish you had an eco house too
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