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Thread: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

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    :) cornishdreadhead's Avatar
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    Default Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    ....or rather, what is a healthy dress size, as of course weight will vary according to height. I've recently been on a diet and gone down around one dress size (from 16-14) and as such I've been pondering about this alot recently. It seems that people's perception of what is thin/fat or heathy/unhealthy is radically different. Whenever I read all those womens meagazines like heat and closer (oh, the shame!) they always seem to refer to people who are anything over a size 8 as curvy....which I think is just ridiculous really. To me, I'd definately think of someone that sort of size as slim. And then, at the other end of the scale, is the people who I work with....who ask me if I've been eating enough and say that I've lost weight and apparently don't look as healthy as I used to! Which isn't right at all....according to my BMI I was verging on obese before.....so now I've lost weight I'm not healthy?!
    Anyway I'm not really sure the point I'm trying to make....just wondering what everyone else's views are on this!
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  2. #2
    BlackCats
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    I think British people are generally getting bigger and so people are perceiving heavier people as "normal" sized. I can still usually fit into a size 12 and I am about 2 stone heavier than I used to be when I was a size 12 so I think they are making clothes sizes bigger for vanity reasons.

    I used to read Heat/ Now but I find them offensive now, they are always commenting on the weight of so-called celebrities and it's annoying and dull. (I probably would still read one of those magazines if I saw one on a train or something though!)

    I don't think you should really worry about your weight unless your health is involved anyway.

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    :) cornishdreadhead's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Yeah, apparently the UK average is now a size 16....but that doesn't mean it's a healthy weight! But I think people just think, well I'm the same as the Uk average....so it's alright!
    Part of the reason I am losing weight though is that I know it was definately damaging my health. I have problems with my knees anyway and I'm sure the extra weight is/was making it worse...!
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Quote BlackCats View Post
    I don't think you should really worry about your weight unless your health is involved anyway.
    Yep, and a healthy weight is different for everyone. I think it depends on more than just height.

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Modern western society, through the media and beauty industry has set an "ideal" for what is seen as a healthy weight. This doesn't take into consideration a persons height, fitness, and genetics.

    Very often these "ideals" are unobtainable for the majority of people and as result, people feel they have failed, feel or are seen as lazy and/or lacking in will power. This is not the case, but our own unique bodies tellings us when we are at OUR ideal weight and size/shape.

    Some people are naturally prone to weight gain and find it hard to lose it. But then as women, our hormones have a say in the fat that is laid down on our curves for child bearing.

    During times of recession, the fuller figure is seen as more desirable and in times of abundance the slimmer figure is desired. It's the psychology of mating.

    I accept what is MY ideal weight, despite the opinions of others. As I've said in a previous related post, I'm active and healthy for my size.
    I make no apologies for myself, my passions, my love, my honesty, my intensity, my soul. Reach beyond your fears and take all of me or nothing at all.

  6. #6
    cobweb
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Weight is a weird thing - i am VERY heavy right now and yet in pictures i look about the same as when i weighed 2 stones less, the only difference is that i do exercise more now .

    I think that magazines have a very warped idea of 'normality' - to me an 'average' size woman in the U.K today is probably a 12 for younger women, 14-16 for more middle aged (e.g my age!) mum types . A size 8-10 is most definitely very slim in my book, a lovely size to be but unattainable for some of us heftier types.

    I really want to lose weight/drop several dress sizes for the sake of my health. However, i have recently realised that i am generally too hard on myself. When i was a size 14-16 i constantly berated myself for being 'fat', and now i look back at pictures i can see i actually looked fine, healthy, and in proportion and that was probably a 'normal' size for me once i got past my teens/early 20s (when i was always size 12).

    Annoyingly, if i'd have only loved myself for what i was, and maybe just concentrated on my fitness level, i have no doubt i could have stayed at a size 14-16. What i did though was try loads of radical diets, yo-yoing in the classic fashion, losing weight then putting it back on + more. I'm annoyed with myself for having done that, i'm annoyed with my husband for giving me stick about my weight, and i'm annoyed with those damned magazines (i avoid them now) .

    So i am now retrying the Paul McKenna approach of loving myself, eating only what i really want to eat (whilst keeping it balanced and healthy), and i have warned my husband DO NOT COMMENT ON WHAT I EAT!!!!.

    Oops sorry for long ranty post, it's been on my mind a lot lately though .

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Thats alright, it wasn't a ranty post!!
    Like you cobweb I used to be smaller but still thought I was fat then....even though I was a size 10-12!! Looking back though I was an ideal size (I think) and would love to be able to get back to that.....I just wish I'd realised at the time! Ah the benefit of hindsight.....tsch!!
    As for your husband commenting on your weight/eating habits, in my experience that's just not helpful at all....if anything it'll make your issues worse and then drive you to comfort eating! Atleast that's what always seems to happen to me.

    As for being heavier but looking the same, don't forget that muscle does weigh more than fat, so you've probably not gained fat but gained more muscle, what with all the extra excercise!!
    x
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    When I was growing up a size 12 was seen as the norm - meaning you would look slim and healthy. My mum was a size 12 and she always appeared slim to me, yet I'm a size 8 and I don't feel slim However I think that has more to do with my negative body image than anything else.

    I've been anything from a size 14 to an 8, depending on how many weights I'd been lifting, and although I think I'm naturally meant to be the size I am now I don't think I'll ever be happy about it.
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Quote BlackCats View Post
    I can still usually fit into a size 12 and I am about 2 stone heavier than I used to be when I was a size 12 so I think they are making clothes sizes bigger for vanity reasons.
    Same here but as a size 14.

    Clothes are definitely being made bigger than they were years ago - which makes it really hard to discuss these issues by talking about dress size I think. Because I don't know what everyone means when they talk about an 'average size 16' and a 'healthy size 12' - do you mean size 12 now (which I reckon is an old 14) or size 12 ten or so years ago (which would be labelled a size 10 now).
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    And not only that, but someone who is a size 14 in one shop could be a size 12 or 16 in another!!! /sigh
    Can't live my life with no rhythm or rhyme

  11. #11
    treaclemine
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    I don't think there exists 'a healthy weight' or 'a healthy dress size'.

    It all depends on each individual - how nutritious is their diet, what physical exercise they take, their genetics, pre-existing medical conditions, state of mind, companionship ...

  12. #12
    BlackCats
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Exactly Marrers, I would say my size 12 today is more like a size 16 even. I remember what my measurements were when I was a 17 year old size 12 and they are nowhere close to what they are today. My waist is about 6 inches bigger now! I used to think I was fat back then as well. I also find it annoying when I have to buy size 14 or 16's in different shops because it's irritating when you order stuff online.

    I do think some people just gain weight easier than others as well and some people need/ want food more often than others. I've said before that my husband just eats one meal a day and never really gets hungry and he is thin but not what you would consider underweight looking.

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    I think it is what suits you. I am only 5 foot 3 so if i put i weigh i look strange, i suit being 8/10 but i know people that are slightly taller who are size 14/16 and they look wonderful. I dont think weight is important, it is how you feel and if you think you look good.

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    Rentaghost Marrers's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Did anyone else see that really interesting Horizon programme on a few weeks back 'Why Are Thin People Not Fat'. I think it is still on BBCiplayer here.
    (quote from http://primetime.unrealitytv.co.uk/h...eople-not-fat/)
    Horizon – the BBC’s flagship science strand – sets out to discover what is keeping these people thin. Are some people really able to consume as much as they like without becoming obese? If so, how do they do it?

    Ten volunteers have agreed to eat double their normal intake of calories over four weeks to see how their bodies cope with a month-long chocolate, cake and fast-food frenzy.

    The test is based on a 1967 experiment on Vermont State Prison inmates, in which medical researcher Ethan Simms recruited a group of prisoners to eat as much as they could until they had gained an extra 25 per cent of their original body weight. The reward was early release. Despite eating up to 10,000 calories per day, only six of the nine who took part succeeded. The experiment seemed to show that, however available and calorie-rich food is, not everyone will become overweight.

    More than 40 years on, Horizon, with the help of Swedish scientist Fredrik Nystrom from the University of Linkoping, follows the volunteers over the course of the month to find out what is happening to the extra calories they are consuming, and why their bodies respond in such different ways.
    Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything. - Floyd Dell

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    BlackCats
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    ^ Yes I think I saw it. It was interesting.

    There was a part with an experiment with a class of schoolchildren and they had just eaten a big meal so they were all full up and they were all given a plate of chocolate/ junk food and it showed how some of them ignored it and some just carried on eating. My husband looked at me at that bit and said that I would be like the kids that keep on eating for no reason which is totally true!

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    Rentaghost Marrers's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    I don't recall that bit, or any kids being in it - maybe it was a different programme? (Or I glazed over part-way through?)
    Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything. - Floyd Dell

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    BlackCats
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    It was definitely Horizon and something to do with people being thin/ overweight. I was telling my friend about it, maybe it's a series of programmes. (I clicked on your link and it was the same one I saw.)
    Last edited by BlackCats; Feb 18th, 2009 at 07:18 PM. Reason: Rambling!

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Must have glazed over then!
    eta actually I may have skim watched it and fast forwarded to the end.
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    I think perceptions of weight have been greatly skewed - health has been conflated with aesthetics.

    For example, the government is running a campaign to warn people about the possible link between waist circumference/amount of fat stored in the abdomen, and potential health risks. Some have twisted this idea and taken it to mean that anyone (mostly referring to women of course) with a stomach that is not "hard," or with a stomach that is noticeably convex = unhealthy.

    Similarly, the term "skinny fat," which some medical types use to describe people who are not fat, but not actually healthy, has been adopted to again to refer to any...bugger it...any WOMAN who isn't a "fattie," but isn't sufficiently "toned."

    /rant. The things you learn from the vogue forums and women's magazines...
    "Keep your friends close and your enemies so close... you're almost kissing."

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    mango woman
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    I have no idea what my "ideal" weight is. I've never known. I made the sad realization today during yoga that I've never been happy with my appearance- ever. Isn't that pathetic? I nearly burst into tears. Thankfully I was doing yoga alone in my tiny apartment. I don't know what to do anymore. Regardless of how little I eat or how much I exercise my weight just does not budge. I don't want to live a life of hating myself. I don't look at the magazines with the thin women on every page, but I simply cannot escape society's views on what is beautiful, healthy, or acceptable. I can't help but compare myself to others. While I don't give a F what people think of me, I cannot help but wonder if they say to themselves "wow, she's really let herself go" when they see recent photos of me. I'm totally lost at this point. Out of ideas, out of optimism, and out of energy.


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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    When I was your age TAB I felt pretty much the same - I'd kill for that figure now though! I wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life being unhappy about my weight. It's easier said than done though to put these ingrained feelings aside.

    The Horizon programme concluded that each persons body has an idea of what its ideal weight should be and will battle to keep it at that, so if you are trying to be under or over that weight it will be a struggle. I think there is some truth to it as I've been sort of 'stuck' at certain weights regardless of how good or bad I've been with my food intake. But overeating consistently has made that weight creep up gradually til the next 'stuck' weight - for me that seems to be whatever stone plus two pounds (ie 9st2, 10st2, 11st2 (my current weight) etc. I've never been much above 14st2 . . . yet.

    One thing everyone will tell you though - yoyo dieting makes you fatter in the long term. It may seem like a worthwhile price to pay for the figure you want now but it's surprising how quickly 20 years will pass and you'll still want to look good!
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    well I'm 5ft 5 (nearly) and I'm aiming for a weight of 8.5stone. that's the bottom weight supposedly recommended for my height. i've not been that size since 1996!

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Quote cobweb View Post
    So i am now retrying the Paul McKenna approach of loving myself,
    Ah, I always thought he was a bit of a w@nker..
    x
    ..but what would they do with all the cows?..

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    Rentaghost Marrers's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    @ Daffodil.

    I know everyone is different but I'm 5ft3 and the lowest weight I ever was (since I was 15 and started getting on the scales) is 9 stone - and that was after lots of dieting (anyone recall the Beverly Hills diet?!)
    I've given up any hope of attaining that sort of weight again unless I'm dying or dead!

    By the way when I was 9 stone (in the mid-eighties) I was delighted to fit into a size 14! Now at 11ish stone I am wearing what is labelled a size 14 (skirts at least) again. I hadn't bought any new skirts for ages so it was a huge shock to have size 16 falling off me in the changing room.
    Last edited by Marrers; Feb 19th, 2009 at 03:21 PM. Reason: to add
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Marrers that is because the sizes are getting bigger but the number on them is staying the same. My mum when she was my age 30 years ago wore a size 12. She had 35 inch hips, 27 inch waist and a 35 inch bust. I am a size 8 mainly sometimes a 6 or 10 HOWEVER I have 35 inch hips, 27 inch waist and 39 inch bust (I rarely wear tops with buttons but if I do I usually get away with a 10 anyway sometimes need a 12). So the sizes have gotten stupid. Vanity sizing is getting stupid. I have a top from ASDA that is supposed to be an 8 (my mum bought it knowing I’m an 8) and it’s too big even with my big boobs! I’m at a very healthy weight for my height and not a stick. The only reason I ever have to buy a size 6 is if they make the clothes too damn big to be the correct size.
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Quote buttons View Post
    I think perceptions of weight have been greatly skewed - health has been conflated with aesthetics.
    As sad as this sentiment is, I completely agree with you.

    Honestly, I think only you can judge what is a healthy weight for yourself. Everyone is different and, as long as you're eating well and exercising at least somewhat regularly, I think that's all you need to be worried about. Don't judge by what it says on the scale, but rather by how healthy you are/feel.

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    My ideal weight... Well, after I dropped a ton of weight I was about 120 for a couple year. Then last summer I gained 10 pounds and haven't been able to lose it since. Half of me likes this weight and the other half wants to lose it around. I feel like my body wants to stay here, but I really want to get back into all those great clothes I bought!
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    Slightly Crazy 1gentlemaorispirit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Like most of the women in my family, I find it difficult to get clothes to fit as I'm 2 different sizes for my top and bottom. This is made more of a challenge because I have an hour glass waist and 60 inch circumference hips. Only Two inches of that is fat. I make most of my clothes to fit my shape. I'm just over 5'8" tall, yet when I've been asked how fat I percieve myself, I feel slender. But then I've been big all my life, so I have nothing else to compare it too.
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    我看得懂 mariana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Quote 1gentlemaorispirit View Post
    Like most of the women in my family, I find it difficult to get clothes to fit as I'm 2 different sizes for my top and bottom. This is made more of a challenge because I have an hour glass waist and 60 inch circumference hips. Only Two inches of that is fat. I make most of my clothes to fit my shape. I'm just over 5'8" tall, yet when I've been asked how fat I percieve myself, I feel slender. But then I've been big all my life, so I have nothing else to compare it too.
    And I thought it was hard for me to find clothes that fit since my bottom half's 2 or 3 sizes bigger than my top. At least you know how to make clothes! I wish I did. It's annoying how clothes are standardised to fit the 'average' body shape, yet for so many people they don't fit right becuse our bodies aren't that exact shape.

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Even if you can't sew you can always get clothes altered mariana. If it is something of good quality which you really like it is probably worth the cost of getting a larger size taken in where needed.
    Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything. - Floyd Dell

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    Slightly Crazy 1gentlemaorispirit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Quote mariana View Post
    And I thought it was hard for me to find clothes that fit since my bottom half's 2 or 3 sizes bigger than my top. At least you know how to make clothes! I wish I did. It's annoying how clothes are standardised to fit the 'average' body shape, yet for so many people they don't fit right becuse our bodies aren't that exact shape.
    In the news recently, clothes manufacturers are now making "in between" sizes, givng us sizes 12, 13, 14, 15 and so on.

    I'm a size 20/22 on my top and 30/32 on my bottom half. When I've tried to but a matching skirts and tops in the past, with my appropriate sizes, I was told I'd have to buy the 20/22 as a set and the same for the 30/32, as they didn't sell them as individuals. So frustrating!
    I make no apologies for myself, my passions, my love, my honesty, my intensity, my soul. Reach beyond your fears and take all of me or nothing at all.

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Quote Marrers View Post
    Even if you can't sew you can always get clothes altered mariana. If it is something of good quality which you really like it is probably worth the cost of getting a larger size taken in where needed.
    I really should. My mom's always suggesting that. Most of the time it doesn't matter to much but it's always annoying when there's a huge gap at the waist (especially in jeans).

    Quote 1gentlemaorispirit View Post
    In the news recently, clothes manufacturers are now making "in between" sizes, givng us sizes 12, 13, 14, 15 and so on.

    I'm a size 20/22 on my top and 30/32 on my bottom half. When I've tried to but a matching skirts and tops in the past, with my appropriate sizes, I was told I'd have to buy the 20/22 as a set and the same for the 30/32, as they didn't sell them as individuals. So frustrating!
    Interesting on the in between sizes. Though that still probably wouldn't solve the different shapes problem.

    Wow, that sounds frustrating, 1gms. It is annoying that they won't sell them separately.

  33. #33

    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Yeah, in my family we all have big hips, even my thinner sisters who would have a size 8 or 10 waist but have to wear size 13 because of the hips. My legs are quite tall and so I usually wear size 14-16, and can stretch the waist out in front of me by several inches, so I have no idea what my waist size is. LOL! My other sister has this problem too.

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    I've seen an xray of my hips and I know even my skeleton wouldn't achieve a size 0
    I managed to get down to 8.5 stone for 5'5" once and looked like I'd been in a concentration camp, other people look ok at that weight.
    Women's magazines and dress sizes mean nothing to me - the only half way accurate scale is a weighing machine and a healthy weight chart then decide whether you look better at the top or bottom range of the healthy weight chart. My optimum look is 10 stone which might be too big for another person my height.

    http://www.eatwell.gov.uk/healthydie...htweightchart/
    Silent but deadly :p

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Oh that chart i am over weight I am suppose to be 8 stone 2 ish and i weigh 8 stone 12. That is never gonna happen

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Quote puffin View Post
    Oh that chart i am over weight I am suppose to be 8 stone 2 ish and i weigh 8 stone 12. That is never gonna happen
    10 stone isn't going to happen either - not without several litres of lipo
    Silent but deadly :p

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Quote Hemlock View Post
    I managed to get down to 8.5 stone for 5'5" once and looked like I'd been in a concentration camp,
    http://www.eatwell.gov.uk/healthydie...htweightchart/

    yep 5ft 5 and 8.5 stones is just on the OK border

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Quote Hemlock View Post
    10 stone isn't going to happen either - not without several litres of lipo
    Think i might lose a arm

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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    according to that website 9st is my ideal weight, which is what my body was always happiest at, but last year i put on another stone or so and i haven't been able to get rid of it, i feel too heavy.

    shame (but not surprising) that Food Standards Agency website pushes the usual myths about veg*n diets...
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    According to the chart, I'm in the healthy range. My BMI is like 20 or something. My sizes vary depending on where I buy clothes. But I've gained a couple stone in the past two years. Combination of a meal plan and two meds that cause weight gain... Grrrrrr. But I have always seen myself as overweight, though. Even with an underweight or normal BMI.

    Right now, I'd like to lose a stone. To wear a US size 2/4 again. I do recognize that I have a very distorted view of my body and what's a healthy weight. I can't help but think that I used to be thin and now I obsess about how fat I am... I wonder why I just can't cope with being this size and weight.
    I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. ~ Alcott

  41. #41
    JC
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    I'm very similar to you ella, deep down i'm sure other people don't see me as big as i see myself, i'm a uk 10. i got down (through somewhat unhealthy means i must admit) to 8 stone a year ago, which for my height is just underweight, but for once i actually felt comfortable with my body, and now i'm back to my usual weight, i feel big. In fact, this weekend i went home and didn't take many clothes. I'd been trying to eat more healthily, so i got really upset when i couldn't do up the button on my trousers that i'd left at home, and when a jumper that someone had bought me was too tight. Fair enough, it was a size too small, but i still got all stressed over that and demanded my mum lend me her size 14 trousers 'because i'm too fat for my own clothes'

  42. #42
    Fervent vegan DiaShel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    I'm in the same boat JC. I've been a 2/4 for a couple of years and I had to buy a 6 last week. I'm only allowing myself to buy that one pair of pants though. I've been walking around in sweat pants for months. It's making me crazy. I'm actually ok at this size but I'm scared if I let it go, then I'll be ok with an 8, and then a 10, until I'm back to a 16.
    "To reduce suffering means to reduce the amount of ignorance, the basic affliction with us." -Thich Nhat Hanh

  43. #43
    missbettie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    not say that anyone is saying anything bad about being a larger size or anything like that, i know that you guys just wouldn't be happy with yourself if you were that "said" size, but reading this thread sure as hell makes me question my body and i don't do that too much any more.

    i'm a US size 11, sure i'd love to be a size 8 or 6, I think i would look completly awful if I were smaller than that, but at this point i'm just thankfull i'm healthy. i'm happy i have finally been able to come to terms with my body, and even though there are days were i feel completly awful about myself, those days are far few and in between.
    "i'm rejecting my reflection, cause i hate the way it judges me."

  44. #44
    cobweb
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Quote missbettie View Post
    not say that anyone is saying anything bad about being a larger size or anything like that, i know that you guys just wouldn't be happy with yourself if you were that "said" size, but reading this thread sure as hell makes me question my body and i don't do that too much any more.

    i'm a US size 11, sure i'd love to be a size 8 or 6, I think i would look completly awful if I were smaller than that, but at this point i'm just thankfull i'm healthy. i'm happy i have finally been able to come to terms with my body, and even though there are days were i feel completly awful about myself, those days are far few and in between.


    this is the kind of thing that makes me hesitant about using internet forums these days .
    if you're not careful you can end up up taking on board other people's hang-ups aswell as your own and feeling worse that you would if you hadn't read certain posts.
    Miss Bettie you KNOW you are healthy and a regular, 'womanly' shape, you look lovely . A lot of us crave that straight-up-and-down look but it's not natural for us, and just because it's become 'fashionable' or desirable doesn't make it 'right'.

  45. #45
    missbettie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Quote cobweb View Post
    this is the kind of thing that makes me hesitant about using internet forums these days .
    if you're not careful you can end up up taking on board other people's hang-ups aswell as your own and feeling worse that you would if you hadn't read certain posts.
    Miss Bettie you KNOW you are healthy and a regular, 'womanly' shape, you look lovely . A lot of us crave that straight-up-and-down look but it's not natural for us, and just because it's become 'fashionable' or desirable doesn't make it 'right'.
    No one really said anything bad, but i can just see where this is going. Not to mention there are already a few people on here with eatting disorders, i just worry about making people feel worse.

    and maybe i shouldn't, its just the freaking internet and some people just need to get over things. but considering how close some of us are to one another i think that maybe that is why i'm actually worried about triggering someone, i just worry about people because i care about everyone on here. But I don't think that anyone really said anything bad.

    And like Hemlock said, there just ain't no way my bones could even fit in a size 0, no way no how. I guess it just boils down to the fact that everyone looks different and everyone looks best in the size that they should be.
    "i'm rejecting my reflection, cause i hate the way it judges me."

  46. #46
    Fervent vegan DiaShel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    I completely agree that everyone has a certain size that is best for them. I wouldn't mind being a larger size if it was spread out but my extra 10 pounds are all in my ass (and I'm quite lumpy). Often I'm jealous of women much larger then I am.
    "To reduce suffering means to reduce the amount of ignorance, the basic affliction with us." -Thich Nhat Hanh

  47. #47
    [LMNOP] ellaminnowpea's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    ......
    I'm really sorry I upset or triggered anyone. My intention was just to sympathize with those of you who do have a negative or distorted body image. One can have a negative body image at any size, shape, weight. And I understand those with EDs can easily be triggered by numbers and weights. Which I suppose could be harmful, and I regret posting details (even if other numbers would have been mentioned anyway). To be honest, I find it quite therapeutic to be honest about my discontent with my own body. At its not that strange to be considered "thin" and still hate your body...unfortunately...

    I'm sorry you feel the same way I do, JC and Dia. Its really terrible!

    Cobs, I'm sorry if anything I said made you feel worse about yourself. As I said, I think it's important to be honest about these issues. If people who wear size xxx can be critical and unhappy with their bodies, why cant I? My own body hatred doesnt mean that you have to hate your body.... ?

    And Missbettie, I am so happy that your days feeling terrible about your body are "far and few between". I do hope I feel like that one day, too.

    Finally, I know we should all value a healthy body; rather than judging it solely on aesthetics. It so unfortunate that many of us have learned to value aesthetics moreso than health.
    I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. ~ Alcott

  48. #48
    missbettie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    ah ella you are so awesome.

    I didn't mean to make anyone feel bad or start anything, i just...ya i don't know anymore...i just didn't want anyone to feel bad. but no matter what someone always will.


    I hope everyone realizes that they are beautiful in their own way, which is the only way to be beautiful in the first place.

    Don't worry Dia, i have a lumpy bottom too...luckily for me many appreciate it.
    "i'm rejecting my reflection, cause i hate the way it judges me."

  49. #49
    Fervent vegan DiaShel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Isn't it just horrible that no matter what size we are it's like there is something ingrained in women to hate their bodies? Screw it. I love my lumpy ass!
    "To reduce suffering means to reduce the amount of ignorance, the basic affliction with us." -Thich Nhat Hanh

  50. #50
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    Default Re: Perceptions of what is a healthy weight...

    Quote DiaShel View Post
    Isn't it just horrible that no matter what size we are it's like there is something ingrained in women to hate their bodies?
    Throughout history men have defined what women should look like, whatever that may be and that privileged control causes a lot of damage. That sadly takes a lot of time to heal.

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