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Thread: Barbeque

  1. #1

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    Default Barbeque

    I would like to know what to do in this situation. A friend of mine has had breast cancer twice, she is fundraising with a barbeque, naturally I don't support this and will not be going as I don't want to hurt her feeling by saying or doing anything, but I don't think the message is getting across to her and others, and a barbeque is really one of the worst ways to promote any thing to do with Cancer or health or etc.[I could go on.] I would like some feedback on this Subject

  2. #2
    baffled harpy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Barbeque

    Sigh - I have seen a few campaigns that encourage people to fundraise for cancer sufferers etc by eating unhealthy foods. I don't think I would say anything directly critical to the person concerned because as you say it might be hurtful, but I would want to make sure, in a tactful way, that my friend knew how to eat healthily. (I would think the docs have probably mentioned this to her?) Perhaps you could leave a decent interval and give her a vegan or healthy-eating cookery book, not one specifically for cancer patients?

    If you don't mind my asking, why don't you want to go to the barbecue? Is it because the money they raise will be used to fund for research on animals, or is it because of the meat that will be eaten...? If the latter I might be tempted to ask if I could help by holding a vegan sub-barbecue at her event, or separately!

  3. #3
    danaeonyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Barbeque

    I always find it awkward when friends or family are collecting for Cancer Research UK. "Yeah don't support it". "If you had cancer you'd understand!!" "Yeah and then I'd support Dr Hadwen Trust" *sigh*

  4. #4

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    Default Re: Barbeque

    ^ Yeah it's so hard to tell someone "no" when it comes to supporting cancer research. Always feel like such a jerk.

    I second harpy's question: why don't you/didn't you want to go to the barbeque?

  5. #5

    Default Re: Barbeque

    If I get requests for sponsorship etc for Cancer research, I make a donation to Dr Hadwen and then forward the receipt email with a little explanation. It is generally appreciated and understood, and is better than doing nothing! And if I go to a BBQ I take a party sized disposable BBQ with some vegan treats to cook on it!!!!!
    The last thing I want is for people to think I miss out on everything because I'm vegan!!!
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  6. #6
    DancingWillow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Barbeque

    is it possible for you to go to the BBQ and bring healthy food to the share? that way you'll be supportive to your friend, you'll have something to eat, and you'd be subtly promoting healthy food. and if anyone asks you about what you're eating, it's the perfect opportunity to give a mini health-food talk.

    my close vegan friend and i have gone to a few non-vegan BBQs and brought vegan stuff to grill (zucchini, eggplant, portobello mushrooms, red peppers, tofu slices). it works out well.

    i didn't know about the dr. hadwen trust, and i'm really happy to have found out about it! it seems similar to the "physician committee for responsible medicine". and it sounds like a great idea for an alternative donation in this situation.
    You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
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  7. #7

    Default Re: Barbeque

    I'm a big believer in showing people that vegan food is delicious and that there are plenty of choices - so if it were me and I decided to go, I think I'd just take big supplies of corn cobs, veggie kebabs in BBQ sauce, veggie burgers if you're into that, etc etc. Of course it depends on why you're reluctant to attend, but if it's because of being surrounded by meat & meat-eaters, I wouldn't let that stop you! I would go along and show people that I can also enjoy a good BBQ
    "I am not mystical: it isn’t as if I thought it had a spirit. It is simply in its element. That gives it a kingliness, a right." [Sylvia Plath]

  8. #8

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    Default Re: Barbeque

    It reminds me of an animal shelter here in town that was doing a fundraiser: they were raffling a LEATHER COUCH! sigh....

  9. #9

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    Default Re: Barbeque

    ^ Isn't it so backwards?! It's ridiculous

  10. #10
    Can't cook. Sarah_'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Barbeque

    Well jeez. I feel like a royal douche now. My grandmother and I are very very close, and she is a breast cancer survivor. I have participated in the Walk for Breast Cancer before...
    Either this wallpaper goes, or I do.

  11. #11

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    Default Re: Barbeque

    ^ Oh no don't feel bad. I did the Nami Walk and who knows what sort of animal-involved testing goes on in the mental health world. Honestly, we can only do so much.

  12. #12
    Stevie G karmafunk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Barbeque

    Quote janetc View Post
    It reminds me of an animal shelter here in town that was doing a fundraiser: they were raffling a LEATHER COUCH! sigh....
    That reminds me of a friend of mine years ago who was into Morrisey and the Smith and then wrote on Meat is Murder on the back of his leather jacket. It took two teenage girls to point it out ot him. Very funny at the time.
    The value of a sentient life is not measured in its utility to others, but in its immense, irreplaceable value to the being whose life it is.

  13. #13

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    Default Re: Barbeque

    ^ Whoa...do some people just not make the connection of what leather actually is??

  14. #14
    pat sommer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Barbeque

    ...what those mummified cow skins on my feet are leather?

    Here is a cancer charity worth promoting: http://www.pennybrohncancercare.org/
    Used to be known as Bristol Cancer Care or someother.

    I recommend them because they are not a vegan organization but push for as near to vegan diet as their clients can handle. Also, they were extraordinary for my now gone mother-in-law.

    Their cookbooks are worth sending to cancer suffers we care about (damn, that list keeps growing).

    Happy vegan BBQing!
    the only animal ingredient in my food is cat hair

  15. #15

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    Default Re: Barbeque

    If it were me, i'd go. The day is to support your friend, and to lead by example. I think pride gets in the way for too many people. "Oh i'm vegan, i don't condone anything they're doing, and i won't go. Even if it means hurting my friends feelings!"

    If you go, who says you should do anything or say anything? Do you like people trying to convert you at your parties? Being there will help her, and maybe you can start light hearted conversation to ease people into heavier ones.

    Do you like being preached to by people who eat meat? We all know they don't like being preached to by vegetarians and vegans. In fact, no one likes being preached to, but if you set an example, and leave subtle hints (which the mind reacts to better at any rate), then you might sway a few people into pursuing a healthier diet.

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