My 9 yr old - menstruation

[blue]

My 9 yr old started her period! Oh My God! Now what do I do? I let her stay home from school! I don't know what to do, or what to say!!!!!!

[Gorilla]

hey blue, that's pretty young isn't it? i was 12 when it happened to me. is she worried, or upset? is she having bad cramps? had you spoken to her about it before?

[Roxy]

I was 11 and ohhhh so embarrassed

Time for the mother/daughter talk Blue?

[cedarblue]

my girls 11 and ive explained all about it in an ordinary kind of way. she was always asking me about 'those ladies nappy things' anyway so, now she knows and will be prepared when it starts.

a friend of mines daughter started her periods when she was nine too

its a sign theyre growing up

[PinkFluffyCloud]

A lot of kids seem to reach puberty early, now, it's a shame, really.
Blue, just give her lots of hugs, and a simple explanantion!

[blue]

We had a little discussion because of all the commercials for products. Geez, I'm freaked out!!!!!! Anyway, she's taking it ok. She became a little teary eyed when she had to go to school. I told her that this calls for manicures and pedicures for us both this weekend. That perked her right up!

[feline01]

[/B]I truly believe that all this early menstruation/puberty is caused by the bovine growth hormones in dairy. Just makes sense that there has been a dramatic increase in the amounts of hormones injected into cows, plus an increase in dairy consumption and girls are beginning their menstruation and getting boobs at such young ages.

Nice approach blue. My friend did that with her daughter, made a special mother/daughter day and her daughter always had a positive outlook about her feminity.

[foxytina_69]

be kind and gentle, make her feel special and let her know its a special time in her life. my mom made me feel special about it and was always extra special and mothering around that time of the month, for the rest of my life, until she passed away.

[Gorilla]

my mum wasn't the greatest when it happened to me. my parents were never any good at talking about intimate things. my mum gave me a book about it when i was 10 and it pretty much glossed over how horrible periods really are. then when i had my first period my mum basically had a go at me for not being prepared. nothing more was ever said about it. i used to be in agony at that time of the month for the first few years but i always used to go to bed and cry on my own.

glad you're helping her blue

[bulletproof]

it's not really a big deal is it blue?? i am sure she knows all about it from PSHE by now, it's just yet another annoyance to be added to the list of all things annoying in life

[PinkFluffyCloud]

Bulletproof - it may be a bigger deal for Blue than for Chy - the first sign that the Chick is preparing to leave the nest!!

[Mystic]

Kids are getting earlier these days. My boyfriend's 8 year old cousin is well and truly 'budding', and her hips and thighs have certainly started taking on a more womanly shape. Also, when I was doing my teaching rounds at a local primary school, I was shocked to see that some of the girls (who were 11 - 12) looked as though they could be my friends! I am 22 - that startled me

[bulletproof]

pretty sure everyone i know has started their period by now and almost everyone i know is pretty immature so i shouldn't worry

[Mystic]

Oh and my boyfriend's cousin has a 9 year old brother who has just broken his voice and has hairy legs and a little acne

[Trendygirl]

That’s pretty much how my mum was with me Gorilla. I knew enough about it when I started when I was 12 but my family didn’t tell me about it. I remember looking in our big cyclopaedia to find out more but we did have a few talks about it, I remember that we even had one in my first school. My two older sisters also started when they were about 9 but my mum had explained what happens to them and gave them a book about it. I used to feel quite upset that my mum gave me no support in this area.

[blue]

it's not really a big deal is it blue?? i am sure she knows all about it from PSHE by now, it's just yet another annoyance to be added to the list of all things annoying in life

Bulletproof, who or what is PSHE? Actually it is a big deal, my daughter is 9 years old. She is a Child, not an adult, teenager, or even a preteen. She now has to deal with a Woman's issue, and Womans feelings. She is going to have to deal with hormones and all the feelings that creates! So, I have to say it is a very big deal.

Gorrilla, how Awful that your mother did you this way!!! I can sorta relate! My mother had no sympathy at all. I guess she never had any kind of cramps or anything. I rememer describing cramps that went to the top of my thighs and my lower back and never received any kind of sympathy from her. My dad was so much kinder! I wish he was still here! My mother is still like this to this day! She still can't relate to my illness, and understand the things I'm going through.

Feline, I agree with you wholeheartedly! I was just having this discussion with someone else! I wish we would have quite eating meat a long time ago!

FoxyTina - Thank you for the wonderful advise!

Banana - We better keep your boyfriends 9 yr old cousin away from my 9 yr old daughter ! LOL!

Cedar Blue - Thank the Lord your Prepared!!!!!!

Trendy Girl - It sucks that your family didn't help you, but at least you were smart enough to look in the encyclopedia! Geez, there is no telling what some people do that have no one to help them!

Roxy - I think we'll be having lot's of talks!!!!

Pink Puffy Cloud - Right now, I'd like to float away on a Pink Puffy Cloud!!!!

[Gorilla]

i think PSHE bulletproof is referring to is the talks schools give to kids about personal issues. do you have that in the US? at my school we didn't get this until i was nearly 11, so if i'd started my periods at 9 i wouldn't have had a clue what was going on (maybe i was naive?). the school lessons always gloss over the truth in my experience, and if kids do have any questions they're probably too embarrassed to ask them in front of their classmates. if you can set her mind at rest blue it'll be much easier for her, i hope. good luck

[blue]

Thanks Gorilla! I know they haven't covered this in school yet. She is only in 4th grade. I did go to the school and borrow the tape that they show the older kids. She thought it was gross. We were laughing. I told her, guess what, you'll get to watch this again, but with a bunch of girls from your school!!!! She was glad she was able to watch it at home in private. It was rather embarrasing. The tape had this girl just casually talking about vaginal discharge. My daughter was going, Oh MY GOD!! There is more than just the period thing!!!!! She was pretty amazed over the whole uterus, ovaries, and all that. As far as she ever knew it was just a Baby Basket! When I had my Hysterectomy, I told her I had my Baby Basket taken out, and we wouldn't be having anymore babies!! So, now she know the whole truth!!!!!!

[cedarblue]

PSHE is personal and social health education
they have weekly lessons in it at daughters school - it covers all sorts of subjects.

[PinkFluffyCloud]

Oh and my boyfriend's cousin has a 9 year old brother who has just broken his voice and has hairy legs and a little acne

I think my son (who's nearly 8) will be the same, it's scary!

[foxytina_69]

it is a big deal bulletproof. she IS a child. i would not have had ANY idea what the hell was happening to me if i was 9 years old and started bleeding! i would be screaming!

it sounds like youre doing wonderful blue. its so important for girls to feel comfortable about their bodies and what happens with and to them. its so important in this era now for girls to feel comfortable, or i think it can really affect their confidence in the future. if they feel comfortable with being a woman and what being a woman is about, chances are they will more more comfortable in the coming years to sticking up for themselves, and being confident when they are on their own. i think its important to teach girls to not be ashamed of their bodies and their periods and such. no girl should be ashamed of any natural occurances.

[webster]

The best thing my mum ever told me was that it is completely natural. Therefore it is not gross, embarrassing, etc. Inconvenient at times, yes, but completely natural.

It sounds odd to have to say it (because of course it is), but I have found that reassurance helpful for the past 17 years! (And I was later able to adapt it to the joys of pregnancy as well - whatever happens, as 'odd', 'disgusting', etc, as it seems, it is all completely natural and good.)

[bulletproof]

SORRY it came out wrong- at 9 years old it is a pretty big deal- you're right. what i meant was it is more of a big inconvenience/annoyance/misfortune than it is a problem. but if she didn't even understand what was happening i am sure that was distressing (like carry :| ). in my school we had pshe from the age of 8/9

[blue]

We never had any classes like that here, especially that young! In fifth grade Ithink, they get a ten or fifteen min. tape and that's it!!!!

Everyone, you have been so wonderful!!

[Andie]

Blue,
Your daughter is fortunate to have a mom who realizes this is a big deal and is willing to be there for her.
I started in fifth grade, about 25 years ago. I was one of the first in my grade I think. I didn't tell my friends. It was awkard.

[cwih57]

I started at 10, in fifth grade, we had the class about it the year before, but I was still so embarresed. I didn't tell my mom at first, she asked me about it when she was doing my laundry, and I finally confessed. My mom was really understanding as well, but I still was embaressed. Your daughter is likely one of the first to start in her class, I remember being so upset, because i was the first as far as I know, and they (the girls at school) always said that fat girls got their periods first. I already had a huge weight complex and that made it worse. Hopefully that rumor as died and your daughter doesn't feel that way.

[PinkFluffyCloud]

It was always something great to be 'the first' at my school - like the first to wear a bra!!

[Tigerlily]

I started developing when I was 9 and a couple of months after my 10th birthday, I got my period (around Halloween actually).

I had a hard time with it. I was having my periods, wearing women bras, had hair under my arms and boy crazy while every other girl in my class were still playing with Barbie dolls. I felt very left out.

[DoveInGreyClothing]

My mum was great, told me all about it well in advance, what to expect, so I was actually looking forward to starting, as young girls do, to be a proper grown up! Now I wish I'd get an early menopause 'cos they're a pain!
When I went veggie she also made sure I ate lots of sources of iron (wholemeal, leafy green veg etc) during that time of the month. Speaking to other girls my age then, I was lucky to have such a well prepared mum!

[Happiness]

It makes me so happy to hear about the wonderful mothers on here that care so much for making that awkward movement into menstration just a bit easier for their girls. I was a late bloomer (late 8th grade for me) so I had to go through all the awkwardness well after all my friends did. I'm sad to say that my mom didn't do a stellar job with helping me. No talks, no books, just a paper bag filled with female products put in the middle of my room for me to figure out...6 months after I had started my period. Hahaha. Lets just say that when (or if) I ever have a girl of my own I'll be doing things MUCH differently.

[ConsciousCuisine]

Wow, Blue. 9 IS young. Is she vegan? It's quite rare for strict vegan children to begin menstruating so early. Hugs to you both.

This is how I have been preparing my daughter (now 12) for her "Moon Time":

For her 10th birthday, we went on a retreat to Mexico and sat in Women's sweat lodge with women of all ages; Blake was the youngest at just turning 10 and the oldest as in her late 70's. We all shared stories of our experience with our cycles, what we were told and when, how our families prepared us (or didn't) and sang songs, poured the sweat and had ritual.

Words can't do the richness and beauty of this powerful and tender experience justice It was very healing and amazing to hear all the stories and know that the fear and mystery/shame are removed for my daughter; she won't have to experience the doubt, confusion and misinformation so many young girls/women do.

I talk openly with my daughter about my cycle and she is prepared (she has her own set of GladRags for when she begins herself) and knows that it is something to be honored and is a rite of passage into womanhood.

When her Moon arrives, we will have a celebration for her with the women in her community present to share wisdom and support. I will take her to acupuncture and give her massage to cope with any stagnation that may cause discomfort. I will suggest hot water bottles, warm, soothing baths and tea. She's going to be just fine

[Mystic]

Wow CC - you are preparing her very well. A massage would probably do the world of good - I often ask my boyfriend to massage my lower back and my stomach when I have my 'time of the month' - that helps, as do date and coconut rolls

[Realfood Mary]

My Mum took me shopping for women's underwear before my first period (somehow she guessed I was coming on! I wonder how... PMT?) and we ended up having to buy a pair of undies in Marks and Spencers because my period started as I was trying them on. We were both really excited. She took me out for a meal, got loads of bubble bath, and while I was having my bath that night she washed my hair and braided it up for me, telling me stories about when hers started, and various mum daughter things which I won't go into.

My Dad was desperately embarassed, and my brother was just confused. (He's younger than me.) Not exactly a sweat lodge, but a special time. I was a week short of my fifteenth birthday. My mum was seventeen when she had her first one. So I reckon kids are getting them younger. It must be difficult the younger you are. Hope your wee girl is holding up okay.

[Cherry]

She'll be fine.

I have taught that age and there's usually one out of every year group who gets their period.

It doesn't mean she has to grow up overnight. Just try and make it as stress free and comfortable as possible for her, which by the sound of it, is what you are doing.

[dahmin]

Wow, Blue. 9 IS young. Is she vegan? It's quite rare for strict vegan children to begin menstruating so early. Hugs to you both.

This is how I have been preparing my daughter (now 12) for her "Moon Time":

For her 10th birthday, we went on a retreat to Mexico and sat in Women's sweat lodge with women of all ages; Blake was the youngest at just turning 10 and the oldest as in her late 70's. We all shared stories of our experience with our cycles, what we were told and when, how our families prepared us (or didn't) and sang songs, poured the sweat and had ritual.

Words can't do the richness and beauty of this powerful and tender experience justice It was very healing and amazing to hear all the stories and know that the fear and mystery/shame are removed for my daughter; she won't have to experience the doubt, confusion and misinformation so many young girls/women do.

I talk openly with my daughter about my cycle and she is prepared (she has her own set of GladRags for when she begins herself) and knows that it is something to be honored and is a rite of passage into womanhood.

When her Moon arrives, we will have a celebration for her with the women in her community present to share wisdom and support. I will take her to acupuncture and give her massage to cope with any stagnation that may cause discomfort. I will suggest hot water bottles, warm, soothing baths and tea. She's going to be just fine

wow you are wonderful. how lucky to be your daughter.

my daughter is only 3 and i already share my cycle experience with her and tell her what is it all about. she is of course a vegan from birth. as far as i understand, a strict vegan girl would usually start her menstruation around 15 or so.

[Nivvie]

Hi Blue, tell your daughter it's getting REALLY common.
I was nine too, a few months off my tenth birthday, and upon asking a few non-specific questions of my also well developed friends, I found another girl in my class.
I actually found the breasts harder to cope with as they were obvious to everyone.

I didn't think my mum would understand so I hid it for as long as I could,
(about a year, go me! I should have been a drug smuggler or something, but eventually she found out where all the toilet roll and sticky tape was going. Sorry, too much information...) and I worked out what was going on with the aid of an encyclopedia.

I've heard of three year olds starting, and there was that girl from the Peruvian jungle, back in the forties I think, who started VERY early and had her first child at five! Yikes!

[Realfood Mary]

Wasn't that an urban myth?

[Nivvie]

You'd think so, but nope, here she is with the child.
Apparently, they never found out who the father was....

http://youngest_mother.tripod.com/

[whats-her-name]

why all of you 'begin' so early? O_____O
My first period, let's see, 14 yr old?
geez

[catmogg]

I was nearly fifteen when i started. It never bothered me being late. (Heck, i wish it had taken longer!!!) You have to hit a certain weight before its possible, which is why so many younger girls are starting earlier, apparently.

[Roxy]

I wish I had been 15!!

[ConsciousCuisine]

I was nearly fifteen when i started. It never bothered me being late. (Heck, i wish it had taken longer!!!) You have to hit a certain weight before its possible, which is why so many younger girls are starting earlier, apparently.

Well, it's not just the weight...weight plays a factor and more specifically body-fat percentage, but even with a high-end body-fat percentage, girls/young women who have an animal-free/lower fat diet are shown to start later than those who eat the SAD diet.

My daughter is 12 1/2 and hasn't yet started but will soon I am sure. She is about 5 feet, 5 inches and 120 pounds...we'll see what transpires...I think about it every time she goes away to camp or when she is at school, I often wonder "Is today the day?"

[Kumem]

I was 12 and alone at boarding school, in the sense that my Mum wasn't with me. However, she had always been very open with me and discussed sex and periods with me from the age of 8.
Mainly because I kept asking over and over again (after hearing it somewhere) "Mum, what's making love"

As she had prepared me and made feel there was nothing to be afraid of, I was quite confident. She had already explained how to use tampons, so I got one of a friend and put it straight in. I felt very grown up

[Liz]

Periods. Don't you just hate them girls!
I was 14 when the pain started, hehe. Was worried because all my friends started before me - plus my twin sister started exactly a year before me!
I've given up trying to find a solution to period pain and sickness...
I dread to think what pregnancy is like - hopefully I will never find out... that youngest mother thing is scary!

[vegandolly]

I have heard wonderful stories about young girls being presented with bunches of flowers,parties being held in their honour and rites of passage ceremonies being held to celebrate their entry into womanhood/their first period.

http://www.celebrategirls.com/kit.html

[screamingcarrot]

I GOT MINE AT 13...BUT I GOT MY BOOBS PRETTY EARLY

THAT 5 YO MOTHER THING IS SICKENING BECASUE WELL, EVEN IF SHE DEVELOPED EARLY, THATS ALL WELL AND GOOD BUT WHO GOT HER PREGNANT?
HOW COULD ANYONE HAVE SEX WITH A CHILD?!

[puffin]

I was about 13 and i was really scared. I had a very mature friend at the time so i just went to her for help and she was wonderful and calming.

[April]

I got mine around two years ago while I was skiing in the mountains. I wasn't scared, or disgusted, really. I just sorta took care of myself, didn't tell my mom at first, though. When I did, she didn't make a big deal with it, knew from my complaining that we were forced to learn about human developement almost every year in school (starting in the third grade), asked me if I had everything I needed, and sent me on my way. It was fine to me that she didn't go overboard about it because I didn't really want to sit down for an hour long chat. I was out that very same day, recklessly taking on the black diamonds.

[skye]

Wow! My oldest had her eleventh b-day in June and although she is not yet menstrating seems to be on a very similiar hormonal cycle to me - PMS is crazy around here these days. Saddly no one else we know seems to belive that a girl of her age could be experiencing these changes - though how quickly people comment on her new breasts the moment she is out of sight. I have found the emotions, especially the explosive ones difficult as she does not yet have the emotional maturity or experince to always manage very well. Imagine raging hormones combined with a tantrum - yikes. Any way I think our daughters are fortunate to have people who value their experiences and support them. Saddly many parents don't give these things a single thought. Hope you are both managing okay - rescue remedy has helped a little around here, also limiting sugar and pampering seems to help. Mostly I think it helps my daughter to help her stay aware - she is learning better to identify why she is off balance - ie hungry, tired, hormonal - it gives her options for solutions.

Wishing you well, Skye

[qwaychou]

As soon as i could read , my mom made sure I had a book all about periods. I will do the same for my daughter. I started at 10, so it was a good thing she did, we didn't get the class until 10th grade!
My mother's parents never told her any thing. She thought she had hurt hurself, she ran to her sisters, scared and crying, and they threw pads at her, and told her to get used to it, very Carry-like. She vowed it wouldn't happen like that for me. My mom never said it was gross, or anything like that. She made it to be a good thing, I was a woman.