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Thread: Emotional changes as you get older

  1. #1
    Rentaghost Marrers's Avatar
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    Default Emotional changes as you get older

    Last night I was with friends and they were discussing an injury. I used to be very proud of my cast iron stomach - I could watch really gory programmes (operations etc) or talk about any disgusting subject unaffected, even while eating. But hearing about this injury made my stomach lurch and I felt nauseous, and I've noticed this happens a lot these days (probably since I reached 40). So when and why did this change?

    On tv this morning they were discussing whether people generally experience emotional changes like these as they get older - for example getting more emotional and crying more. (I think they were suggesting these changes happen around 40 years or older.) I was recently talking to a couple of people I know who have developed a fear of heights in their mid-thirties which they'd never had when they were younger.

    So I thought this was interesting and wanted to ask what other peoples' experiences have been. Have you noticed any changes and if so can you trace a reason for the change or does it seem random and possibly age related?


    Also I know some friends of mine attribute similar changes, like no longer being able to watch horror films or hear about bad news, to becoming a parent. If you think this has happened to you do you think it is a biological change (if you gave birth to your child) or an emotional one?
    Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything. - Floyd Dell

  2. #2
    BlackCats
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    Quote Marrers View Post
    Also I know some friends of mine attribute similar changes, like no longer being able to watch horror films or hear about bad news, to becoming a parent. If you think this has happened to you do you think it is a biological change (if you gave birth to your child) or an emotional one?
    I used to work with women that were mostly mothers and they said they noticed that change when they become a parent. They got really emotional when they heard about any child being ill or dying when before it wouldn't have made them tearful. I don't know if there could be a hormonal reason for that as well though?

  3. #3
    cherished emmapresley's Avatar
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    briefly - i get more desensitized about most stuff as i get older.
    in the short term i reckon a blocking nasties out and putting barriers up over stuff is great..for a long term life plan, not so great.

    i can't bear children hurting..weirdly not physical pain..like a bump on a head doesn't phase me, but their emotional distress affects me muchly.
    ahronli sed ah dunit so thid tek thuh cheyus graytuh offa mi nihbles

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    Hemlock's Avatar
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    Ff's don't get me started Marrers!!! Post 45 neurotic, anxiety, phobias, low idiot threshold etc etc. However once you have got over all that you will find a level of empathy with other people you never had before and a feeling of deeper understanding and wisdom - if the other stuff doesn't kill you first
    Silent but deadly :p

  5. #5
    [LMNOP] ellaminnowpea's Avatar
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    I think emotional changes are a constant thing throughout life. I've always been extremely sensitive, I can't imagine getting even more so. But I obviously don't have personal experience with your question, though I noticed that my mom became much less anxious and angry as she got older. I think around... mid 40s. She's just a much more peaceful and happy person. As far as gore in movies or even just injury in real life, she's always been a wimp.
    I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. ~ Alcott

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    snaffler's Avatar
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    We experience more as we get older in life in the last 4 months I have experienced the 2 very close deaths including my farther, I have also learned I am about to become a Dad which is amazing.

    Life experiences and challenges cause all sorts of things to happen and emotions go with these.
    Go confidently in the direction of your dreams

  7. #7
    Rentaghost Marrers's Avatar
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    Congratulations on the baby Snaffler.

    I agree that life experience must have some effect but I'm not sure that is the case for everyone or for certain changes. My life hasn't changed too much over the years and I certainly can't think of anything to explain the newly 'weak' stomach or my friends' fear of heights.
    Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything. - Floyd Dell

  8. #8
    baffled harpy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    Yes congratters, Snaffler! When's it due?

    I feel that I have, in some ways, become more unfeeling with the passage of time, but it may be just that with practice you get better at dealing with stuff like people dying :-/ I have always been quite squeamish though, and I still am.

  9. #9
    cobweb
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    I'm more understanding of others i think, and definitely more compassionate towards other humans, particularly children. I was never really horrible but now i look out for children as i would for animals, because they're vulnerable.

    I think i probably always did get emotional quite easily but i'm less good at hiding it now i'm older, i used to have a steel shutter over my emotions but i'm discovering that showing a bit of human frailty is a strength rather than a weakness.

  10. #10

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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    Age simply means the number of years lived.Hence age equals acquiring knowledge and practicality to live and prosper harmoniously, in this ,to me,crazy world!Yes, we do become more sensitive, more aware,more understanding,hopefully because we have lived thro,experienced and grown from our contact with LIFE !!And eating vegan for long time[30 years for me]causes changes as compared to high protein/animal adrenalin/hormone eating!Aiso,we have menopause[male as well I believe],normal ups and downs and tap water/atmospheric/soil polluting influences.I would be suspicious of anyone I noticed,who appeared ,never to change!Love those vegy"s~Vincent

  11. #11
    CATWOMAN sandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    Quote Snaffler View Post
    We experience more as we get older in life in the last 4 months I have experienced the 2 very close deaths including my farther, I have also learned I am about to become a Dad which is amazing.

    Life experiences and challenges cause all sorts of things to happen and emotions go with these.
    I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad, Snaffler...........coping with the death of a parent isn't easy.

    I'm sure having a child of your own will bring up a lot of new emotions for you and you will see the relationship between yourself and your father in a new way..........congratulations on the baby!

    I have found personally that I have become a stronger person as I've got older. I know my own mind better and rather than trying to please everyone all the time, I now do what 'I' want to do. Not in a selfish way but more in a 'life's too short' kind of way (if you know what I mean).

    I did find that after I had my children I became a more emotional person and also more fearful of the world. I could see ALL the dangers out there and worried about bringing two new lives into the world.

    One big change I've noticed is that since the death of my parents I can no longer cry as easily. I think I cried so much when they died and felt so bereft, that nothing else can compare with the pain I felt at losing them.

    (I'm not talking about the kind of crying I do at soppy films or sad news but a much deeper, heart wrenching sorrow induced crying.)

    All in all, I feel better able to cope with life now I'm older and things that would have 'annoyed' or 'upset' me years ago are no longer important. Now, I just deal with things and confront them instead of dwelling on them in silence, that way they lose their importance.
    I like Sandra, she keeps making me giggle. Daft little lady - Frosty

  12. #12
    cookey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    I remember being really overwhelmed with sadness at something on the news not long after my first daughter was born in a way that was different than before I had children. Plus here's a quote from Sandy Toksvig's "Girls are best" book:
    The Isrealis researched women's skill in combat and found that childless women were just as good or better than men. The only reason women with kids were not quite as good is that they didn't want to kill people.

  13. #13
    baffled harpy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    Yes sorry about your dad Snaffler - I missed that bit in the excitement of the news of the mini-Snaffler.

    cookey, I don't (usually) want to kill people even though I haven't got any children, so I'm not sure that theory holds water

  14. #14
    CATWOMAN sandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    Quote cookey View Post
    The Isrealis researched women's skill in combat and found that childless women were just as good or better than men. The only reason women with kids were not quite as good is that they didn't want to kill people.
    That is an interesting study Cookey. I don't think in everyday life men or women necessarily want to kill but it's perhaps different in a war situation. I do think most women who have children would have perhaps a little more 'empathy' with others. We know how we would feel if one of our children died.

    I know as I've got older that the death of one of my children would be the end of me. Sometimes, it's only for the fact that they exist that I feel life is worth living. This is a sad fact but a true one for me.

    (This is of course only my personal feelings, I'm not suggesting anyone else, childless or otherwise would agree.) :smile:
    I like Sandra, she keeps making me giggle. Daft little lady - Frosty

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    snaffler's Avatar
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    The sad fact of life as we get old we do experience more tragedy as those around us that may be older do leave our lives, that dark week in November I thought I would never come out of the place I went In. I lost an old best friend and my Dad inside 7 days, hit depression from hell and had no choice but to be put on medication which flew in the face of everything I stand for in my personally choices in life.

    I will not say I am free from that pain but I have learned an awful lot from my past mistakes and death can be sober thought of reflection, I am far more peaceful these days I have less angst and anger (most of which erupted from things I witness I don't agree from being vegan) I often took an OTT view on things which were not lawful.

    Long gone are those days and I have a very passive approach on life as I know anger and angst really eats into your life and destroys happiness.

    Entering into a new world where you become the last male in a tight family group and also knowing you have a family coming it really makes you grow up and take stock of things.

    I can honestly say my emotions have changed lots but for the better and I feel my lessons learned and emotional changes will give me good ground to ensure a safe upbringing of a new person in my love.

    Jase x
    Go confidently in the direction of your dreams

  16. #16
    baffled harpy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    I do think most women who have children would have perhaps a little more 'empathy' with others.
    I haven't really found that in general Sandra - I have found some of the parents I know to be preoccupied with their children's welfare seemingly to the exclusion of all else whereas some people who aren't parents seem to have a more all-embracing compassion. Obviously not being a parent I'm biased, but it's quite hard to generalise about these things TBH.

  17. #17
    BlackCats
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    Quote harpy View Post
    I haven't really found that in general Sandra - I have found some of the parents I know to be preoccupied with their children's welfare seemingly to the exclusion of all else whereas some people who aren't parents seem to have a more all-embracing compassion. Obviously not being a parent I'm biased, but it's quite hard to generalise about these things TBH.
    +1. I have also known some parents who aren't bothered by their own child's welfare.

  18. #18
    cobweb
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    I think that being parent has made me more likely to kill someone in certain circumstances - like if anyone seriously harmed or murdered my child.

    Snaffler - great post there and all the best with your little one.

  19. #19
    CATWOMAN sandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Emotional changes as you get older

    Yes, Snaffler I loved your post. xxx

    Harpy and BlackCats, as I said:-

    QUOTE: (This is of course only my personal feelings, I'm not suggesting anyone else, childless or otherwise would agree.) :smile: END QUOTE.
    I like Sandra, she keeps making me giggle. Daft little lady - Frosty

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