Ok so before I ask for suggestions, let me inform you of my 4 year struggle...
For 4 years I had suffered from eating disorder, still am if you consider the fact that I'm still haunted by the feeling of being "full". Since then I have made dramatic improvements in my lifestyle- which includes quiting mmorpgs, no drinking, no smoking, and ditching my negative fair-weather friends who triggered me. Now as a next step im trying to get involved in the activities that made me REALLY happy in the past. Right now that is Ice Hockey. I'm very competitive with myself- i want to be a jackrabbit on the ice. Here's the problem... im still very much underwieght (90-95lbs give or take). I scared to death of gaining weight really fast and turning into a version of the hulk... popping seams of my clothes. I know Im going to gain alot of muscle- especially on my legs and thighs... thats fine. I don't want it to happen too fast though, it will trigger me I think. So I've been talking lengthy walks, and overall trying to get in shape so I have some stamina before evaluations in 2 weeks. Walking is wussy considering what they're going to expect of me.... and I i feel really achy in my knees, hips and balls of my feet. I don't know how to solve this. I know I should eat more protein .... but it's hard to do that when you aren't used to eating large plates of rice and pastas.
I guess I need advice- I don't know what I can do about this....
-scared and excited
Oh - this may be tmi, but as a result of my past body-abuse, I have a really hard time 'dropping kids off at school' ... which means a can of beans or lentils can be rather painful in the mornings. I usually have to make it into a soup thats really mushy... and it takes a long time. I've been downing almond milk lately, and getting potato leek soup...but It doesnt seem to help with the above pains.
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