HI I am new to the Forum and I have a few questions. I am not looking for a fight, I am curious for some input about feelings I have been having. Please read all the way through the post before judging.
I grew up in east Texas, with redneck ways, it was no big deal to hunt, fish, ride horses etc. Now as an adult I have continued everything I grew up with. I hog hunt on horseback with dogs. The team of dogs sniff around miles of woods until they smell a hog, then they chase it, and catch it (hold it by the ears) until I can come hog tie it. Then you drag it out of the woods and go clean it.
Now I am NOT saying this to be morbid, I am giving you some background, so please keep reading. I am a 23 year old woman, and it never ever occurred to me that there was anything wrong with this, hunting has always been a passion for me. But this last weekend, we caught a young hog and brought it home for cleaning, when it came time to kill the pig, I could NOT do it. I could not shoot it, or slit its throat, something I have done so many times and never thought about. That night when they were bbq'ing the hog, I could not eat a bite, in fact it made me sick to think about it. Tuesday was the last day I could hunt in the national forrest, and normally I would have taken off work to get one more hunt in, but instead, I could not even get the want to to go. I dont understand what changed, I dont understand why I am feeling this way, but the thought of eating anymore animals makes me sick. I Could not even eat chicken strips for lunch today, and I have raised and eaten so many chickens in the past.
Could this be the start of what may be a total life change??? I can not talk to anyone in my life about this, because they would think I was crazy. I dont know how i would even make this life change because my whole life in centered around hunting, fishing, riding etc.
I Am confused, and I guess I want some input from someone who might have made this change in the past, going from as extreme as I was, to being the total other extreme. Is it possible??
Please dont attack me, I am truly seeking some input, and you have to take into consideration where I am coming from. Since I was a toddler I was taught this lifestyle, and my four year old has already shot his first deer, and loves huntin. Where I am from it is just life. BUt I am not so sure I want it anymore HELP!!!
Confused in Texas
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