Were you spanked as a child?

[Ms_Derious]

So sad to see peoples stories, a lot of which are really heartbreaking.

My mum used to hit me with a wooden spoon to hit, and dad would spank us, but that was rare.

The most unpleasant thing was if we swore Mum would force a bar of soap into our mouths to 'wash them out'. I find this really distressing to remember because it was quite unpleasant and seems very odd.

Generally, my parents are better at attacking with words than fists, which can hurt a lot too.

[cobweb]

^ *nods*

[Cathriiine]

I was spanked all the time.

If I had kids, I'd hit them too. The reason there's so many kids with horrible behavior is that they don't get spanked. They don't get a real punishment, so they keep being rotten.

When I'm out places and there's screaming brats, I wish I could hit them. If a kid accidently runs into me, I'll yell at it. I don't care if the parents are standing right there.

This thread reminds me of a story:

A co-worker said her daughter was misbehaving, so she spanked her. Her daughter said, "I'm going to tell my teacher!" So she goes, "Wait! Come back!" The daughter comes back and she spanks her again and says, "Now you have something to tell her!"

I would never hit an animal, no matter what it did.

My God ... Well, you could never live here in Norway, where it's (luckily) actually FORBIDDEN to spank your children. In fact, it's fobidden in 22 countries in Europe. I can't believe it's still legal in USA? Or isn't it?

[harpy]

It's legal in the UK as well unfortunately - there have been attempts to get it banned so I imagine it will happen eventually. Maybe there will be some EU directive against it or something.

[Risker]

I find it funny in a way when people who are pro corporal punishment come out with the old gem "I was smacked and it never did me any harm!". I just think to myself, well it obviously did do you harm because now as an adult you think it's okay to hit children.

[missbettie]

Its legal in the US to hit your own children, but only with an opened hand and you can't leave marks. So no sticks or spoons. I'm not really into spanking kids, but I do give a thump to my nieces and nephews on their hand if they do something dangerous. But its more to get their attention than anything...I don't really think kids respond to hitting...

[Andy_T]

Guess I had a good childhood. Yes, I was smacked now and then, but not excessively, with the open hand, on very few occasions. I'd add that most of the times I guess I 'deserved' it given the educational practices of the time. My wife was raised in Taiwan, and she says that she was spanked often and hard, at home, and at school by the teachers.

It obviously did not 'harm' us, but my wife and myself have made the decision not to spank our own kids (on top of that, it's against the law).
So sometimes we have to resort to forbidding our kids to watch TV for a week, which is certainly a punishment they think about longer than if we would spank them ;-)

Best regards,
Andy

PS: However, unfortunately there are more ways to hurt children. Not only physically, but also psychically.

[RubyDuby]

true dat

[yo1]

My parents used the belt until I was about 10 or so, it didn't bother me too much but I did feel it was unnecessary. If I were to ever have kids I definitely wouldn't hit them though, in my opinion if you can't teach your child that what they're doing is wrong and have to resort to hitting them you shouldn't be a parent.

[harpy]

My parents used the belt until I was about 10 or so, it didn't bother me too much but I did feel it was unnecessary. If I were to ever have kids I definitely wouldn't hit them though, in my opinion if you can't teach your child that what they're doing is wrong and have to resort to hitting them you shouldn't be a parent.

I agree with this in principle, however I wouldn't want to be too judgmental about parents because I know sometimes they lash out in the heat of the moment without meaning to. As I may have mentioned earlier in the thread, a friend of mine once slapped her older child when he did something that was dangerous for the younger one, can't remember what now - she felt terrible afterwards but I can't say I wouldn't have done the same. Think if society and the law manifests disapproval it probably makes the temptation easier to resist though.

[FaerieSuzy]

I would never spank/smack a child. I have a brother ten years younger than me, and once when I was left in charge of him ( I was about 15) he was really acting up and I hit him, and the look of hurt on his face still makes me cry now. He says he doesn't even remember but I couldn't deal with the guilt again!!

[Beanie Babe]

I wasn't spanked. I guess one time my mom slapped my leg (I was sitting so she couldn't technically spank me), and I just laughed. She didn't bother with that again apparently, lol.

[Risker]

LOL, on another forum I use there is a discussion about Englands riots. One of the members blamed the lack of corporal punishment and said how his dad used to use a slipper on him and how it "did the trick for him" failing to realise that several posts earlier he had mentioned that at the age of 14 he'd gone to a young offenders institute!

[aspin231]

I was spanked once, when I was six, for standing up to my dad when he struck out at my (older but disabled) brother violently and without much provocation. I remember many times my dad would spank my brother and it made me cry. My father is a fairly violent person, and I don't think the spanking was in any form of 'control.'
He remained violent, and when Iwas older (13, 14) he took to trying to throw me around, and worst was when I hit the corner of a doorframe, as my back has never been the same. I think the spanking when my brother was younger was a legal way to smack us around.
I agree that violence breeds violence too, when I get extremely frustrated (though that takes a lot) I do tend to break things or take it out on myself, though never others, be them human or animal.
Love is the best remedy.

[glosoli]

Yes I was spanked as a child. I love my parents for all the GOOD they've done for me throughout my life, but I do hold resentment for being spanked.

No, I would never spank my child. Because I don't believe in corporal punishment or influencing a child to believe that violence resolves problems.

Something a lot of parents aren't aware of is that children at a young age are unable to control their emotions. They literally have not developed the mechanisms to do so. So when they throw tantrums hitting them is not a fair solution.

It instills fear rather than understanding.

[Ameloise]

I was abused as a child for a few years by my father's longtime, live-in girlfriend. I do not physically punish my children. There is enough violence in the world already, and I have no need or desire to harm those I love the most. My children are not wild, misbehaving brats just because I fail to instill fear in them. They are independent thinkers, people who see proper consequences for improper actions. Hitting someone doesn't teach that person to avoid that particular behavior--it teaches them to avoid that particular person (emotionally). I am proud of my kids and view mistakes and errors in judgement as learning opportunities.

[misosoup]

I find it funny in a way when people who are pro corporal punishment come out with the old gem "I was smacked and it never did me any harm!". I just think to myself, well it obviously did do you harm because now as an adult you think it's okay to hit children.

YES!! Totally. Imagine they applied that logic to other kinds of abuse. And we wonder how perpetrators are created. My sister plans on spanking her children because she believes it 'didn't do her any harm', despite being in an out of violent relationships, having anger issues, and getting into fights. I went the other way, I recognise the abuse as wrong and I have told her that if she lays a finger on her children like our parents did I would call Social Services.

I was spanked, punched, kicked, bitten, and even suffocated at one point. I class spanking as abuse, it was just as painful and humilating as the other forms of 'punishment'. It is never ever OK to cause a child physical harm.

Alice Miller writes amazingly about spanking.
http://www.alice-miller.com/flyers_en.php?page=2