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Thread: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

  1. #401
    CavemanMax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    I reply in different ways depending on their tone. Usually these:
    (Sarcastically) "I eat tree bark, grass and figs"
    "Think of what I do eat, rather than what I don't"
    "I enjoy killing plants"

  2. #402
    Vegan Princess BellaTanie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Quote Zombiechik View Post
    Something simple like: It must be comforting to be that ignorant.
    People like that, you arent going to convince of anything anyway so save your breath and use your energy to help transitioning veg*n's
    I also hear that a lot, I don't want to know. That is what most people say......I love your "it must be comforting to be that ignorant." In fact I think that will be my facebook status today lol!
    Tanya

  3. #403
    Pea-utiful... Peabrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote Seaside View Post
    I can't remember the thread its on, but to those who claim that plants feel pain, I told someone to say "Let's make a deal. If you promise to watch a video of what goes on in a slaughterhouse, I'll watch a video of a strawberry harvest." I remember a few folks liking that one.
    Hahaha! I just laughed out loud at that! I HAVE to remember this one. My 5 year old is asking what I'm laughing at. *holds belly chuckling*

    Excuse me I haven't properly introduced myself yet (the name peabrain has many meanings lol), I'll do so shortly, but that one just tickled me and I had to say so.

  4. #404

    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Q: "But what do you eat?"
    A: "Whatever I like!"

    "Protein? I dunno. Where do you get your vitamins K, A, C, folate, fibre, complex carbohydrates, etc., etc., etc., from?"
    "Eventually, I realised that the reason I was so angry was because I want people in the world to be well." - Ian MacKaye

  5. #405
    Bad Buddhist Clueless Git's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Quote Wraithling View Post
    Q: "But what do you eat?" ..
    A very kindly person once asked me that with the distress of genuine sympathy (for the vegan plight) clearly written all over her face.

    I was stumped for a bit .. then the penny dropped ..

    Lady in question was a meat, spuds and 2 veg person. She knew nothing else. All she could invision a vegan living on was spuds and 2 veg without the meat.

    Never really thought about the omni-plight in that light before. Remember her face changing to an expression of total non comprehension as a look of even deeper genuine sympathy spread over mine.
    All done in the best possible taste ...

  6. #406

    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Quote Cupid Stunt View Post
    A very kindly person once asked me that with the distress of genuine sympathy (for the vegan plight) clearly written all over her face.

    I was stumped for a bit .. then the penny dropped ..

    Lady in question was a meat, spuds and 2 veg person. She knew nothing else. All she could invision a vegan living on was spuds and 2 veg without the meat.

    Never really thought about the omni-plight in that light before. Remember her face changing to an expression of total non comprehension as a look of even deeper genuine sympathy spread over mine.
    Love that story!

  7. #407
    pat sommer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    reminds me of a travel story I read years ago from an American gal trekking around a Tibetan holy mountain. When she explained that she was away from home for 6mo, the astonished young girl then asked, "but who will look after your sheep?"

    we all have our point of reference
    the only animal ingredient in my food is cat hair

  8. #408
    Bad Buddhist Clueless Git's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Quote Robinwomb View Post
    Love that story!
    Glad you enjoyed it Robin
    All done in the best possible taste ...

  9. #409
    Bad Buddhist Clueless Git's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Quote pat sommer View Post
    reminds me of a travel story I read years ago from an American gal trekking around a Tibetan holy mountain. When she explained that she was away from home for 6mo, the astonished young girl then asked, "but who will look after your sheep?"
    Cute

    we all have our point of reference
    Which makes me think about the importance of the old addage that "we must seek to understand before we seek to be understood".

    Not directly related ..

    Tibets a funny one from a buddhist PoV. It is nearly impossible to be vegetarian in Tibet and Tibetan buddhism has had to adapt to that reality.

    (Unfortunately those adaptations have been embraced over eagerly by buddhists all over the world who's day to day realities are very different to those of people in Tibet)

    'Food of Bodhisattvas' by Shabkar makes some very interesting reading for anyone interested in stuff like that.
    All done in the best possible taste ...

  10. #410
    Pea-utiful... Peabrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Quote Cupid Stunt View Post
    (Unfortunately those adaptations have been embraced over eagerly by buddhists all over the world who's day to day realities are very different to those of people in Tibet)
    Yeah, I've always thought, whenever the argument comes up (admittedly not from anyone I know, but online) that people in some remote parts and even some religious people in those remote parts, who wouldn't ordinarily wish to, have to eat meat to survive (as if it means elsewhere people can do the same); a good answer to that would be "But we're privileged in that we don't have to, so what's your point? Are you planning to move to Tibet?"... *nyah-nyah*

  11. #411
    Bad Buddhist Clueless Git's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Quote Peabrain View Post
    Yeah, I've always thought, whenever the argument comes up (admittedly not from anyone I know, but online) that people in some remote parts and even some religious people in those remote parts, who wouldn't ordinarily wish to, have to eat meat to survive (as if it means elsewhere people can do the same); a good answer to that would be "But we're privileged in that we don't have to, so what's your point? Are you planning to move to Tibet?"... *nyah-nyah*
    Exactly Pea Brain

    A little something those of us who have taken names which suggest that we question our own brilliance (I usualy go as 'Clueless Git' but couldn't register that on this forum, btw) may take small comfort from in buddhism ..

    "A fool who knows his foolishness is wise at least to that extent, but a fool who thinks himself wise is a fool indeed." ~Buddha

    - - - Updated - - -

    And the unwittingly most witty rebutal to any argument I have ever heard in my lifetime ..

    "Yes, well ... You can prove anything with facts, cant you?"
    All done in the best possible taste ...

  12. #412
    Pea-utiful... Peabrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Quote Cupid Stunt View Post
    And the unwittingly most witty rebutal to any argument I have ever heard in my lifetime ..

    "Yes, well ... You can prove anything with facts, cant you?"
    Aaaaaahhhh! I LOVE that one! I'm gonna nick that if you don't mind! Yoink! :P

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Cupid Stunt View Post
    And the unwittingly most witty rebutal to any argument I have ever heard in my lifetime ..

    "Yes, well ... You can prove anything with facts, cant you?"
    Aaaaaahhhh! I LOVE that one! I'm gonna nick that if you don't mind! Yoink! :P

  13. #413
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Dope: We have evolved as carnivores because we have canine teeth

    Vegan: Oh really? Have you ever been tempted to run after an animal and kill it with your vicious canine teeth? Do you know anyone who has? That's how carnivores get their dinner.

  14. #414
    Pea-utiful... Peabrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    PMSL!!! My teenager just came out with a blinder...

    I was bemoaning the fact that when we were still omni, my parents in law blamed not eating enough vegetables for the frequent winter bugs we kept getting, then when we turned vegan, of course the bugs were because we didn't eat meat (despite the fact that GP actually said EVERYONE is getting bugs this winter)...

    My son just said; "We're made of meat, why do we need any more of it?"


  15. #415
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    Quote Peabrain View Post
    My son just said; "We're made of meat, why do we need any more of it?"

    Lol!

    That works on so many levels that it makes my brain hurt!

    (One being that we only need meat if our brains haven't evolved enough to work out what the meat we eat is made from in the first place?)

    Big 'thumbs up' to your lad for that one, PB
    All done in the best possible taste ...

  16. #416
    Pea-utiful... Peabrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    *proud mummy*

    It was the way he said it too, so deadpan and perfect comic timing. He's a very funny and quick witted lad anyway, but that one just had me cracking up. Still giggling now...

  17. #417

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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    I always like to say, I'm a vegan to annoy the crap out of you. See how well it's working

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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    My non-vegan friend said a brilliant one today. When I tried to explain to him why I wouldn't drink beer that has had insinglass used in the manufacturing process, he said:

    "Oh I suppose it's like slaughtering a cow because you fancy a glass of Coke"

    Brilliant!

  19. #419

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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    I saw one on FB the other day: "Being vegan isn't manly? Tell me again how you still drink breast milk."

  20. #420
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Quote cafenervosa View Post
    I always like to say, I'm a vegan to annoy the crap out of you. See how well it's working
    Heheh, I like this one!

  21. #421
    100% sure – I'm going vegan! nathanjh13's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    I like this thread and the whole thing benefits from good humour. Other that here this is the only humorous and very tongue in cheek website I've found: www.meatmonth.co.uk In response to the "how do you like your rabbit food?" dig I love the "how do you like your vulture food?" response. I find an irony in the factory doing all the killing being called a meat processing plant.

  22. #422
    Pea-utiful... Peabrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    I love the "la la la" and "blah blah blah" bit... LOL...

  23. #423
    Pea-utiful... Peabrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    HAHA! MY TEENAGED SON IS SO DAMN COOL!!! To add to the various witty retorts that he already comes up with... He just told me this one:

    My uncle told me after learning I was a veggie "Well guess what? I'm going to continue to eat meat for the rest of my life.", so I just replied "Well guess what? I'm going to continue to not care for the rest of my life!"
    He has a way about him that is very much a mix of Jack Dee and Michael McIntyre (dry wit yet also a funny delivery) so hearing it was even better than how it reads.

  24. #424
    Draíochta Blueberries's Avatar
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    Quote Peabrain View Post
    HAHA! MY TEENAGED SON IS SO DAMN COOL!!!
    Not like you'd be biased or anything
    Houmous atá ann!

  25. #425
    Pea-utiful... Peabrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Oh no! Not at all!

  26. #426
    Bad Buddhist Clueless Git's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Quote Peabrain View Post
    HAHA! MY TEENAGED SON IS SO DAMN COOL!!! To add to the various witty retorts that he already comes up with... He just told me this one:
    Lol!

    I think I'd like your son PB - He seems to have the knack of impaling those who bring dum-bassery into the fight upon their own swords ..
    All done in the best possible taste ...

  27. #427
    Pea-utiful... Peabrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    I am amazed at his maturity too. He often brings into conversation many of the arguments non-veg*ns use, and he can almost out-logic or out-wit anything, just using his common sense! I've had to learn to be headstrong, when I was his age I don't mind admitting I was a complete sheep (well maybe not completely but I def wasn't as independent as he is). The lines he comes up with are priceless!

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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    Like it was mentioned before, if someone is legitimately interested, I'm more than happy to discuss it all with them. But if someone's out to "prove" that I'm a nut or demand I justify veganism, I'll flat out tell em they're boring and not worth my time. If they ask why, I tell them they're being hostile and if they're willing to be reasonable, I'm happy to talk. If they don't shut up or calm down after that, all they get is a blank stare. Hold eye contact and dont break it until they get uncomfortable. It's very effective

    As for one liners with people just giving me sass... most of mine are really vulgar I'm almost a bit ashamed thinking of em. ALmost.

  29. #429
    pat sommer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    ...now, no fair teasing us: spit out an off color remark!
    the only animal ingredient in my food is cat hair

  30. #430

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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    You all need to read Eternal Treblinka, it's given me a lot to back up my views. I've only just began to read it, and before, I wasn't educated enough to make a good comeback other than 'I think it's cruel' and maybe describe graphically things like castration and removing the calves from the mother. But Eternal Treblinka gives historical events that you can compare. For example if someone say 'It's just a chicken'. I can say 'Which is exactly what people said about black people/ gay/ Jews/ women etc'. The most annoying is 'But we NEED meat', and this is when 'plant based diet' followers are so handy to us, as yes they are not true vegans, but they are doing for their health and have no 'agenda' like we, supposedly, do.

  31. #431
    pat sommer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

    ya, that "it's only a chicken" thing.

    "But how do you explain that to the chicken?", is an absurd answer but I haven't yet heard an intelligent response.
    the only animal ingredient in my food is cat hair

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