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Thread: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

  1. #51
    Blueshark
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Actually Kristymae they do care - just usually about themselves.

    They will find it confusing if you are secure in your eating habits. Use this. Make them feel stupid by revealing the truth.

    Rat milk etc.. is fantastic

  2. #52
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote kristymae
    They don't really care anyway, so why should I explain myself.
    this is the truth - both disheartening and freeing
    Remember, A Dragon is For Life, Not Just for Hogswatchnight
    -- Motto of The Sunshine Home for Sick Dragons in Morphic Street

  3. #53

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    Quote kristymae
    I honestly don't even bother most of the time when people question/challenge me about my eating habits. They don't really care anyway, so why should I explain myself.
    BINGO! In fact, the phrase "explain myself" shows how screwed-up the very dynamic of this kind of conversation is. We, as veg*ns, have nothing to "explain". It's about as meaningful (to me, anyway) as asking me to "explain" why I don't beat my wife.

    Folks, in the end, it's the omnis who (to quote Ricky) "got some 'splainin' to dooooo!"

  4. #54

    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    "Idiot: So, then what DO you eat?!
    Me: Anything that doesn't take a dump."

    Nice.

    Yeaaaaaa...I'm not too great at arguing. I just get loud and violent, haha. But this is what a typical argument looks like:

    Non veg(an): Why don't you eat meat?
    Me (perfectly calm): Because I don't like the way animals are treated.
    Non veg(an): Well, just because you don't eat them, doesn't mean you're helping.
    Me (getting a little argumentive): Yea it does. If I don't purchase meat, an animal doesn't have to be killed. If there are enough people, then the rate at which factory farmed animals are being slaughtered will significantly decrease.
    Non veg(an): But not everyone is going to turn vegetarian.
    Me (ready to freaking punch non veg(an)): Duh! Because there are people like you.
    Last edited by Veganne; Sep 9th, 2007 at 09:58 AM. Reason: Error.
    "Silence never encourages the tormented, only the tormentor..."

  5. #55
    Metal Head emzy1985's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote veganja View Post
    Anyone see the t-shirt that says this...

    VEGANS MAKE GREAT LOVERS

    Pity you aren't one!
    I want this t-shirt and I want it NOW!
    The taste of anything in my mouth for 5 seconds does not equate to the beauty and complexity of life.

  6. #56
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Here's a large list of various funny/snappy replies I've found on other forums:

    Omni: "But humans evolved to eat meat."
    Albert Einstein: "Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances of survival for life on earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet."

    Meater: Where do you get your protein?
    Veggie: The same place the cows and chickens get it. I just cut out the middle man.

    Q:Tofu is evil.
    A:Praise seitan.

    Q:I could never be veg*n.
    A:I could never be a meat-eater.

    HIM: But when you eat your (*roll eyes*) veggieburger, don't you also eat loads of innocent bacteria?
    ME: I didn't eat them. They got in my way. *threatening look*

    Omni: Do you know how many vegetables had to die for you
    Me: Actually they're not dead I usually eat them raw and alive, just to hear their crys for mercy.

    Me: *Accidentally steps on a spider*
    Him: Stupid vegetarians killing bugs.
    Me: Stupid "pro-lifers" eating dead animals.

    Him: Man, this is a great burger.
    Me: Don't worry man I like you still, that’s why when your in your 40s and can't get it up anymore I'll still come over to your house and make sure your wife is still satisfied.

    "I always feel guilty for eating meat, but I couldn't stop...I don't have enough willpower."
    I responded with:
    "I wonder if child molesters feel the same way about child molesting?"

    Omni: "I wouldn't survive on a vegetarian diet. it's too bland."
    Veg: "In the stores now..... they're selling this really cool thing... I don't know if you've heard of this before or not, but it's called spices and herbs... stop me if this is too advanced for you...."

    "I could NEVER give up cheese!"
    "You're saying your life is too empty for anything to fill the void brought about by an absence of cheese? Dude that's just sad. Start collecting stamps or something."

    Omni: "I could never be a vegetarian!"
    Me: "True, you aren't cool enough."

    Omni: "I have to have my meat, I could never give it up!"
    Me: "I hope your wife doesn't feel that way" (subtle impotence comment)

    Omni: "Veggie food is boring!"
    Me: "You must be right. After all, you ARE the expert on boring."

    "Being vegan isn't going to help all the animals"
    "Being a nimrod isn't going to help you at all."

    Omni: So what do you eat?
    Me: The other 6,000 foods.

    (If I'm feeling particularly snarky, I might fall back on "Plants.")

    ~~~~~~

    Omni: God meant for us to eat meat.
    Me: Guess I didn't get the memo.

    This is a good stock response to nearly any bit of misinformation or annoyance, like so:

    Omni: But meat tastes so good!
    Me: Oh? Guess my taste buds didn't get the memo.

    Omni: But meat is good for you!
    Me: Oh? Guess my colon didn't get the memo.


    Omni: God meant for us to eat meat.
    Me: God didn't mean for us to build factory farms and high-speed slaughterhouses. Those can only be the work of the Devil.

    (not that witty, but to the point.. and it sidesteps a long, tedious argument about the bible)

    ~~~~~~~~

    Omni: If you ever met a pig/cow/chicken, you'd eat it.
    (Or some variation suggesting that livestock animals aren't cute/friendly/attractive enough to have rights)

    Me: If it's a popularity contest, I know a few humans who've got a date with the meat grinder.
    (Whether you suggest with your tone & expression that the person you're talking to is one of them is up to you!)

    ~~~~~~~~

    Omni: You won't get enough protein.
    Me: Thanks, I'll be sure to remind the nuts and legumes I eat that they're low in protein. They forget sometimes.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Meater: Why don't you eat meat?
    Me: You want me to list 'em alphabeticallly, chronologically, or topographically?

    OR: Do you really want to hear the answer, or are you just saying that to be obtuse?

    OR: Why don't you eat sewage? (or is that a repeat?)


    Meat Eater: I just ate a ribeye.

    ARA: My condolences to the animal’s family and to your bowels.

    ---
    Animals were put on this earth for the use of humans. Whether that be eating them, or keeping them as pets

    God put arsenic here for our use too. Try eating that.

    ---
    I didn't eat my way to the top of the food chain so I could eat like a rabbit. If I'm on top of the food chain. I'm gonna make damn good use of it.

    I am meat do you wanna eat me?

    ---
    meat is not unhealthy a lil bit is good for you...you can live with out it...but why bother they are gunna kill the animals n e way so might as well not let them die for nothing

    Damn the USDA for promoting healthy lifestyle -what were they thinking- oh yeah, that they were educated unlike you, you sniveling cousin marrying hick.

    ---
    it's not unhealthy. you need alil meat in you.
    When you eat veggies, that vegetable used to be alive, and you killed it just to eat it. (written by a meatie)

    Same as last one.

    ---
    why would you want to save animals. what are the animals gonna do?

    What have you done? Oh no better yet what good are deformed babies lets eat them to, by that reasoning you would! You child murdering bastard!

    ---
    So what?
    Animals are here for us, we can do what we want with them

    I know you. Your parents are brother and sister.

    ---
    “The videos are full of filthy lies that serve the people who create them. Imagine that(speaking about "meet your meat")”
    -And-
    “I watched Meet your Meat once.
    It made me laugh.
    It was full of such idiocy”

    Then post a link to what really happens if you can produce such a thing I doubt you can but please try.

    ---
    “i dont care how they get killed. im just gonna eat em.”

    That is not the only reason to be veg. If you are not concerned about the animals it kills-- what about the human children a meat based diet kills from heart disease or high cholesterol, or are you a child killer too.

  7. #57
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote Seaside View Post
    I can't remember the thread its on, but to those who claim that plants feel pain, I told someone to say "Let's make a deal. If you promise to watch a video of what goes on in a slaughterhouse, I'll watch a video of a strawberry harvest." I remember a few folks liking that one.
    I was recently told that all i needed was "a good bloody steak"

    my retort was to say that if they could watch all the videos on petatv.com then they could tell me what to eat

    I havent heard another quip since

    Ali x

  8. #58
    Russ
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    my 'witty vegan comeback'

    "Go to hell"

  9. #59
    Russ
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Also i strongly feel that insulting omnis / vegetarians is seriously going to damage the movement and the chances of them ever becoming vegan

  10. #60
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote Russ View Post
    Also i strongly feel that insulting omnis / vegetarians is seriously going to damage the movement and the chances of them ever becoming vegan
    Agreed, but read the first post again.

  11. #61
    AR Activist Roxy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Meat Eater: I just ate a ribeye.

    ARA: My condolences to the animal’s family and to your bowels.
    Thanks! I'm going to use that one for sure. I go to weekly KFC demos and get so sick of the idiots that come out of there rubbing their guts going "Mmmmmmm chicken!" Now I have a witty vegan comeback

  12. #62
    Russ
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    What the hell, I don't even remember posting on this thread.

  13. #63
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote Russ View Post
    What the hell, I don't even remember posting on this thread.
    That's odd o.O do you remember saying what you said? hopefully no one hacked your account.

    Anyway here's a "witty" (albeit long winded) reply that can be used in almost all meat-eater arguments when they are ridiculing you.

    "Wow. Way to blindly pander to the unsustainable practices of the masses and mindlessly go along with the lame jokes that merely bolster weak ego which actually do nothing more than illustrate your fear of that which is unfamiliar. Yeah. You might want to think about the impacts that your decisions have on society and my environment before you go around trying to hurt peoples feelings who are just trying to do their part. It's called disassociation, and I'm just not down with it."

  14. #64
    Ineffable Me untitled's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Jeez, I'm just cracking up here. The B12 semen one... oh my!
    I also liked the "I didn't get the memo" comeback to the "god meant us to eat meat".

    I usually have to try extra hard to be nice (in most areas of social interaction, actually) because I tend to be ironic and sarcastic 100% of the time. When I get asked the "why don't you eat this or that?" question I get that nails-against-a-blackboard feeling that just makes me want to shut my ears. Even my veg-etari-an friends ask me why don't I eat gluten. But they tend to be more respectful since we're all used to the meat-eaters annoying interest in our diet.

    I did, however, get asked the "why don't you eat meat" question by a guy who became my friend recently, but he was so polite and seemed genuinely curious about it, that I answered the "by the book" answer. He then apologized and asked me if I thought it was annoying when people asked me that and I said that it was only annoying when they had that "know it all" tone and started to tell me what I should or not do.

    So I guess it comes down to the way people approach you. But since we're most likely to encounter shit-heads along the way, it's always good to have a witty vegan comeback.

  15. #65
    RubyDuby
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    Quote untitled View Post
    I did, however, get asked the "why don't you eat meat" question by a guy who became my friend recently, but he was so polite and seemed genuinely curious about it, that I answered the "by the book" answer. He then apologized and asked me if I thought it was annoying when people asked me that and I said that it was only annoying when they had that "know it all" tone and started to tell me what I should or not do.

    So I guess it comes down to the way people approach you. But since we're most likely to encounter shit-heads along the way, it's always good to have a witty vegan comeback.
    Exactly! It's all about their intention. I love giving info to people who are actually interested in knowing why, because of their love of animals or wotnot. It's the ones who think they're so clever that you need these comebacks for.
    Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.

  16. #66

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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Some of these are really good...

    i'll share this with you, completely true...

    I was at a party recently and someone was trying to make another guy do his "packie" impression, so i was naturaly clentching my masseters and glaring out the window, a "friend" saw me on my "moral high horse" and outed me to the room... "we're upestting the vegan" then the whole room turns to me...

    "your a vegan? Why?" some seemed genuinely interested and not at all judgmental, but then in a big room like that there were a few idiots... I'm quite new to this, and didn't want to fog off the couple of people who seemed inteligent enough to handle it, so i foolishly enetered dialouge...

    Omni: But veg is alive, leave a potato to long and it starts sprouting, why don't you stop eating them too?

    Me: Because they don't feel pain...

    Omni: How do you know?

    Me: They don't have a central nervouse system or the brain to register pain...

    Omni: How do you know that?

    Me: How do you not?

    Omni: Just because they don't have a brain like me and you...

    Me: what?!? Every living thing on earth abides by a similar and logical biological structure... we all come from the same stuff... You share 60% of your genes with a damn banana, there's nothing weird going on, everything works in a pretty similar way... if it hasn't got a brain it's not feeling pain...

    Omni: well what if aliens came down and they had invicible brains?

    Me: what a... what the fu... ya know what, good point... GET ME A BURGER!! What the hell?!?! Just sit down...

    This guy was seriouse, and no one laughed so they must have thought he had a good point or somthing... Maybe they were just scared as they watched the vegan freak flip out a lil...

    I swear i'm just gonna shoot it down before it all begins next time.

    why are you vegan? because i hate plants!

    that'll do me lol, thankyou Vegan Forum...

  17. #67
    Queen of Beans dreamqueen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    When I first went vegan I was asked this question a lot: "Oh, are you one of those crazy vegans?"

    At first I'd very earnestly explain that it was a very reasonable choice, blah blah blah.

    Now, when it comes up I say, "Yes, sometimes I snap and start encouraging people to eat more vegetables! BOO!"

  18. #68
    sugarmouse
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    haha. i loved that.
    The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.

  20. #70
    RubyDuby
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    me2
    Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.

  21. #71
    emoticonaddict Spud Addict's Avatar
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    Lol very good.

  22. #72
    Metal Head emzy1985's Avatar
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    Soooo classic!
    The taste of anything in my mouth for 5 seconds does not equate to the beauty and complexity of life.

  23. #73
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    When I get asked but why don't you eat eggs they have a lot of protien I respond with: "call me weird but I don't like the idea of eating another animals period!" . They stare blankly for a while working it out and when they do always the same horrified face lol I do love saying that one.

    omni: Why don't you drink milk?
    me: well apart from the fact I'm allergic the idea of becoming a 300lb hefer does not appeal to me. Oh and then there is the poor calf that dies in order for humans to have THEIR milk and the hormones, blood and pus. No thanks I'll do without it but if you want that go ahead I'm sure you'll do your arteries proud.

    omni: so what DO you eat?
    me: lentils. All day every day of corse

    omni: We are designed to eat meat though.
    me: we are? How so?
    omni: our teeth as we have incisers.
    me: they are purly for show when angry origanily. If you watch someone when they eat they have to chew side to side in the same manor as a HERBIVOUR.

    Sorry about any spelling mistakes.
    "I wouldn't eat a chicken if it dropped dead infront of me holding a up a sign that said eat me." - Ricky Williams

  24. #74
    Metal Head emzy1985's Avatar
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    Quote crazy_4_veg View Post

    omni: so what DO you eat?
    me: lentils. All day every day of corse

    .
    Haha I get that all the time from one of drivers at work.

    Phil: I like Lentils you know. My wifes from the middle east so we eat that stuff all the time.
    Emzy: Wow! Me too but I like to throw in some twigs and leaves too!
    The taste of anything in my mouth for 5 seconds does not equate to the beauty and complexity of life.

  25. #75
    puca
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    I just tend to ignore preachy omnivores most of the time...

    But on the few instances where I can be bothered having them attempt to shove their poorly researched opinion down my throat...

    Omni: But we're meant to eat meat, look around you, people have always eaten meat, it must be right!
    Me: People have always been torturing and killing each other and raping women... Sometimes rape is even used as a weapon of war. Just because a lot of people do something does not make it Ok.

    Omni: But look at our own anatomy! We're definitely meant to eat meat!
    Me: Then why can't we digest it raw?

    Omni: But we are more intelligent than animals, thus more evolved
    Me: So whether or not a creature is deserving of life depends on its intelligence? If a human being is unfortunate enough to be born less intelligent than a chimp, does that make it Ok for them to test pharmacuticals on the human like they would the chimp?

    Omni: But we are more evolved... ect ect
    Me: If we're so intellectually evolved, or if we care about continuing our genes then perhaps we should start living sustainably... And meat is NOT sustainable.

  26. #76
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote puca View Post
    Omni: But we are more intelligent than animals, thus more evolved
    Me: So whether or not a creature is deserving of life depends on its intelligence? If a human being is unfortunate enough to be born less intelligent than a chimp, does that make it Ok for them to test pharmacuticals on the human like they would the chimp?
    When they say people are more intelligent
    Me:Ah but pigs have the same inteligence as a 3 year old and can even play games consols. Are you telling me you would eat a child of this age and younger because of their lack of intelligence?
    "I wouldn't eat a chicken if it dropped dead infront of me holding a up a sign that said eat me." - Ricky Williams

  27. #77

    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    hah. thats true.

    people also say it's ok to kill animals because of their lack of inteligence.
    i reply with a: "So it would be ok to kill a less inteligent person?"


    it amuses me how ignorant people can be.
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  28. #78
    Vegan Delight Essy Strudel's Avatar
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    Quote PaintedXSkyline View Post
    hah. thats true.

    people also say it's ok to kill animals because of their lack of inteligence.
    i reply with a: "So it would be ok to kill a less inteligent person?"


    it amuses me how ignorant people can be.
    Yes that one always amuses me too! I guess they wouldn't mind if we started eating mentally retarded people then?! Like WTF!
    Live honourably by becoming what you pretend to be. - Socrates

  29. #79
    Vegan Delight Essy Strudel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Something I sometimes use when people bring up the intelligence issue is:
    “If intellectually advanced aliens came to earth and wanted to eat us, would that be ok? Surely you would fight for your life, and call them heartless bastards! What’s more you would still take that approach even if they literally needed human flesh to live…”
    Not necessarily witty, but it gets some people thinking.
    Live honourably by becoming what you pretend to be. - Socrates

  30. #80

    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Love this thread - I never say anthing witty, I only do boring and factual.
    'Spring will soon pounce [like a floppy kitten]'. Whalespace.

  31. #81
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    I recently wrote to the government about duck hunting, and suggested that ducks demonstrate considerably more intelligence than the sadistic idiots with guns who shoot them for fun, and the bureaucrats who let them do so.

    They haven't written back to me yet...

  32. #82
    cherrywisp
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    Quote dreamqueen View Post
    When I first went vegan I was asked this question a lot: "Oh, are you one of those crazy vegans?"

    At first I'd very earnestly explain that it was a very reasonable choice, blah blah blah.

    Now, when it comes up I say, "Yes, sometimes I snap and start encouraging people to eat more vegetables! BOO!"
    Hahahah! This made me laugh so hard

  33. #83
    Zero
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    Quote Essy Strudel View Post
    Something I sometimes use when people bring up the intelligence issue is:
    “If intellectually advanced aliens came to earth and wanted to eat us, would that be ok? Surely you would fight for your life, and call them heartless bastards! What’s more you would still take that approach even if they literally needed human flesh to live…”
    Not necessarily witty, but it gets some people thinking.

    I use that same point, it usually leaves meat eaters with nothing left to say but something to think about. Very effective.

    I also mention that many of the true carnivoures of our world have very low intelligence levels, a crocodile may not be able to beat you at a game of chess but he will have no problems sticking you under a rock as a snack for later.

    Therefore the intelligence theory doesn't stack up.

  34. #84
    Vegan Delight Essy Strudel's Avatar
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    Yes, I see it as proof; that they are obviously very unintelligent; for bringing it up!
    Live honourably by becoming what you pretend to be. - Socrates

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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Does anyone have any good ideas for what to say when people (as in non vegans/vegetarians) say things such as...

    "But if you were stuck on a desert island..."

    Etc. I always seem to get a bit stuck with these kinds of things. I sometimes say that surely there would be some kind of vegitation there, or ask what the chances of that happening are, but still lose out somehow...

    Anyway, witty comebacks would be ideal for this scenario if anyone has any good suggestions.

  36. #86
    Zero
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    Quote helloearth View Post
    Does anyone have any good ideas for what to say when people (as in non vegans/vegetarians) say things such as...

    "But if you were stuck on a desert island..."

    Etc. I always seem to get a bit stuck with these kinds of things. I sometimes say that surely there would be some kind of vegitation there, or ask what the chances of that happening are, but still lose out somehow...

    Anyway, witty comebacks would be ideal for this scenario if anyone has any good suggestions.
    If there was no vegetation on the island there wouldn't be any animals either.

    I suppose they could argue that they could catch fish, but how would they do it? What would they use for bait?

    You could eat seaweed I guess lol, the people trying to catch fish would probably still die before you did. Seaweed is plentyful and rich in nutrients!

  37. #87
    RubyDuby
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote helloearth View Post
    Does anyone have any good ideas for what to say when people (as in non vegans/vegetarians) say things such as...

    "But if you were stuck on a desert island..."

    Etc. I always seem to get a bit stuck with these kinds of things. I sometimes say that surely there would be some kind of vegitation there, or ask what the chances of that happening are, but still lose out somehow...

    Anyway, witty comebacks would be ideal for this scenario if anyone has any good suggestions.
    see this thread: http://www.veganforum.com/forums/sho...ghlight=animal
    Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.

  38. #88
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Ruby is so cool always directing people to the right threads and such. lol you rock Ruby!
    "i'm rejecting my reflection, cause i hate the way it judges me."

  39. #89
    RubyDuby
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    I know. I'm annoying
    Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.

  40. #90
    Healthy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    I think you can live without food. It's water and air you cannot live without.

    I'd certainly try it. I haven't had meat since 1986, if I ate it now that would kill me -- not starvation.

    EDIT -- Yes, thanks for the thread Ruby, I read a lot of it, it was great

  41. #91
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote RubyDuby View Post
    I know. I'm annoying
    No way ur not!
    "i'm rejecting my reflection, cause i hate the way it judges me."

  42. #92

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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Great, thanks.
    I need to remember the comebacks on here.

  43. #93
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote Campbell View Post
    I recently wrote to the government about duck hunting, and suggested that ducks demonstrate considerably more intelligence than the sadistic idiots with guns who shoot them for fun, and the bureaucrats who let them do so.

    They haven't written back to me yet...
    Ahahahahaaha
    you should put it on here if they do
    (tho they probably wont)

  44. #94
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    I was just talking to a meat eater about some of the snappy comebacks you guys just put on here
    pretty funny
    I love how she changes the subject at the end
    me: I just saw something really funny (I dont know if you will think its funny) but it said, idiot:why dont you eat meat vegan: probably the same reason you dont eat humans
    me: lol
    amber: Go ahead... ask my why I won't eat humans!
    me: why dont you eat humans
    amber: Because if I did... I'd be biting myself all the time!
    me: was at a works Christmas meal, when a guy at the other end of the table shouted over the top of everybody "are u sure you don't want some of my juicy steak rather than those veges"

    silence

    i replied "i hope you enjoy the heart disease that comes as a compulsory desert"

    I then raised a toast to the guy's heart disease

    fortunatley, everybody laughed with me at him

    amber: Well, I don't know... I like my heart disease. I'll probably die someday of clogged arteries
    me: good im glad you like it what do you want me to bring to your funeral
    amber: just give my family loads of money please
    me: If intellectually advanced aliens came to earth and wanted to eat us, would that be ok? Surely you would fight for your life, and call them heartless bastards! What’s more you would still take that approach even if they literally needed human flesh to live…”

    amber: oh, and be sure to keep the dogs supplied with toys for life
    me: lol
    me: i will take in the dogs
    amber: That's good
    amber: I'll be sure to put it in my will
    me: lol did you read the thing about the aliens
    amber: yeah
    amber: those things scare me
    amber: aliens i mean
    me: does it make you think
    amber: you don't want to hear my answer
    me: yes i do
    amber: It makes me think of wolves and how they need meat to live. Are vegans (or the author of that quote) calling them heartless bastards?
    me: not the point humans do not need meat to live but what would you do to the aliens if they needed human flesh to live?
    me: brb
    amber: I'd try to kill it if it were trying to kill me
    me: what if their was an uncontrollable mass of them that were putting humans into factory farms for mass slauter
    me: what does that sound like
    me: try holocaust
    Amber: Well, eating animals and the holocaust are nothing alike and PETAs analigy that it is is rediculous. In the words of Ingrid Newkirk herself, "We can debate about this all day and not come to an agreeable decision."
    me: they are alot alike
    me: just because you saw something on tv dosent make it true
    Amber: That last statement is currect but I don't want to talk about this. The PETA/Holocaust thing is my own opinion and not you or anyone else will change that. Please just change the subject. I don't want us to fight again and I know that's what this will come to. Sorry.


  45. #95
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote Kerrie View Post
    Amber: Well, eating animals and the holocaust are nothing alike and PETAs analigy that it is is rediculous. In the words of Ingrid Newkirk herself, "We can debate about this all day and not come to an agreeable decision."
    i really always saw the halocaust extremely similar to factory farming! i dont understand how you could not.

  46. #96
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote applebaby View Post
    i really always saw the halocaust extremely similar to factory farming! i dont understand how you could not.
    I know thats what I was trying to tell her
    she just dosent like to listen
    I will convince her yet

  47. #97
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    I love some of the responses people have posted here! (I'm relatively new so this is the first time I've seen this thread.) Here's one I heard when I lived in Los Angeles and I plan on using again:

    Idiot dude: You're a vegan? But WHY????
    Vegan girl: 'Cause vegan chicks do it better...but I guess you'll never know.
    (She said it with a totally straight face as she continued to munch on her carrot snack, and everyone cracked up.)

    And here's one I found for when people try to bring up the extreme diet argument. It's not that witty but it'll sure scare people into shutting the eff up, especially if you say it angrily and loud enough to draw attention to yourself:

    Idiot: Veganism is such an extreme diet, why do you eat that way?
    Vegan: Extreme diet? I eat FRUITS AND VEGETABLES, what is so "extreme" about that? You're shoving rotting animal carcass into your mouth, and you're calling ME extreme?

    I plan on using that when my brother comes home, because as much as I love him he can be quite ignorant and that's exactly the kind of comment he would make to me.

  48. #98
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote Antonia View Post
    This is one I wish I'd known at the weekend when I got a grilling from a lady working at a psychic fair.
    Lady: 'But you have to eat animals to get vitamin B12'
    Me (what I'd wish I'd known in order to say then): 'As it's present in semen, and I swallow... I'm fine!'.

    http://www.jackinworld.com/library/science/semcomp.html
    That is one of the funniest things i've ever heard. it's so vulgar and shocking & doesn't sound defensive at all.
    "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." —Margaret Mead

  49. #99
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote helloearth View Post
    Does anyone have any good ideas for what to say when people (as in non vegans/vegetarians) say things such as...

    "But if you were stuck on a desert island..."

    Etc. I always seem to get a bit stuck with these kinds of things. I sometimes say that surely there would be some kind of vegitation there, or ask what the chances of that happening are, but still lose out somehow...

    Anyway, witty comebacks would be ideal for this scenario if anyone has any good suggestions.
    but you're not stuck on a deserted island and probably never will be. we are all making REAL choices for REAL situations in a REAL world. there's no end to hypothetical arguments, putting yourself in situations that would never happen. you can't literally plan ahead for something like that anyway. if anyone were in that situation they'd have no clue how to actually cope with it. it's fantasy. it's like asking if you'd eat meatballs if you got stuck in a super mario brothers video game.
    i just say i can't be certain what i'd do any more than they can without actually being there. what if there were no plants or animals and i had to become a cannibal to survive? would i? i'd like to say no, but i'm not there, never have been & can't give an educated answer. what i am certain of is that i'm not on a deserted island now and i'm not in a position where i need to consider murdering an animal, or human, as a matter of sheer survival. so i'm making an evolved decision to put the best choice for my health, and the welfare of the environment above any emotional nonsense as well as propagating a less violent society, and doing my individual part to quell all the incidental damage that comes to humanity and the planet from factory farming.
    i'm sure you can condense the idea into some witty banter.
    "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." —Margaret Mead

  50. #100
    puca
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Somebody said to me that veganism is a lifestyle choice and if I make it a moral one then it makes me a zealot, makes me superior and alienates people. If I subscribe to veganism because I believe that it is moral to do so then that means I am criminalising him as a meat eater and am putting myself on a pedestool.

    I didn't really know how to reply to that because I've never preached at anybody or claimed myself to be superior nor do I understand that I am acting like omnis are below me.

    How can I come back to that because I really don't see the logic in that as an intelligent argument?

    I didn't even talk about morals... I put up a link about famous veg*ns and said who were my favourites. Somebody mentioned the environment and I said that maybe environmentalism would be a better way to promote it as a lot of people don't really want to hear about animal welfare or animal rights. Which to be fair is true in my experience.

    It actually hurt me a it because he said that something I wrote on facebook had alienated a lot of people I know (who actually discusses what other people put on Facebook? And I couldn't see how it was offensive, I have even had friends saying it wasn't)... Now I wonder if some of my mates hate me, or if he's been stirring trouble.

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