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Thread: Witty vegan comebacks / one-liners

  1. #101
    RubyDuby
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote puca View Post
    Somebody said to me that veganism is a lifestyle choice and if I make it a moral one then it makes me a zealot, makes me superior and alienates people. If I subscribe to veganism because I believe that it is moral to do so then that means I am criminalising him as a meat eater and am putting myself on a pedestool.

    I didn't really know how to reply to that because I've never preached at anybody or claimed myself to be superior nor do I understand that I am acting like omnis are below me.

    How can I come back to that because I really don't see the logic in that as an intelligent argument?

    I didn't even talk about morals... I put up a link about famous veg*ns and said who were my favourites. Somebody mentioned the environment and I said that maybe environmentalism would be a better way to promote it as a lot of people don't really want to hear about animal welfare or animal rights. Which to be fair is true in my experience.

    It actually hurt me a it because he said that something I wrote on facebook had alienated a lot of people I know (who actually discusses what other people put on Facebook? And I couldn't see how it was offensive, I have even had friends saying it wasn't)... Now I wonder if some of my mates hate me, or if he's been stirring trouble.
    should u not act according to your morals because it could make others feel guilty? That seems like it's their problem, not yours. if they feel that way it's because they also hold those morals but do not yet have the strength to act on them.

    Just tell them you do what you feel is right and can't be bothered with how that makes others feel. You can only control your own actions, and prefer to feel good about yourself to being a follower.

    He's probably just trying to make it seem like he has a real point by saying others feel the same. Safety in numbers, ya know?

    The truth is veganism is positive in every direction. Of course usually its the animals that bring us to it, and now we know that meat eating is ultimately changing the earths environment so that humans will no longer be able to survive here (through global warming and wasting finite resources such as land and water). and of course veganism is much better for your health as animal fat is the number one cause of death and disability in north america.

    Acting on those truths does not make u a bad person. The person who finds fault in you acting on your sensibilities is just feeling guilty.
    Last edited by RubyDuby; Dec 27th, 2007 at 06:27 PM. Reason: quoted. etc
    Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.

  2. #102
    AR Activist Roxy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote puca View Post
    Somebody said to me that veganism is a lifestyle choice and if I make it a moral one then it makes me a zealot, makes me superior and alienates people. If I subscribe to veganism because I believe that it is moral to do so then that means I am criminalising him as a meat eater and am putting myself on a pedestool.
    I would be tempted to tell that person that the fate of the animals is far more important to you than his opinion of your "morals". (Stealing an idea that I saw on another thread).

    Either that or tell him to climb down off his cross because somebody needs the wood

  3. #103
    puca
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote Roxy View Post
    Either that or tell him to climb down off his cross because somebody needs the wood
    Hehe gonna steal that.

  4. #104

    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    haha.
    i agree though.
    by saying that you think you are above everyone else, he's just placing you on that pedestool.
    The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.

  5. #105
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    It seems to me that its him who sees you as morally superior and is angry that he dosent have the courage to go against the grain too. So instead of making the moral choice aswell he wants to drag you back down (from the pedestal he put you on) to make himself feel better about how he chooses to live. Its his issue not yours.

  6. #106
    Zero
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    If they truely believe you are living on a moral high ground then they are admitting that what they are doing feels wrong on some level, perhaps they should analyze that instead.

  7. #107
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Recently my wife mentioned to an acquaintance that we were now vegan, and as such were not eating any animal products.

    The acquaintance replied, "So you eat fish, right?"

    ;-)

  8. #108
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    If someone says you are too preachy you can always say "I guess I have a big ego, but not so big that I would eat something with a spine"


  9. #109
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote Fanfear View Post
    If someone says you are too preachy you can always say "I guess I have a big ego, but not so big that I would eat something with a spine"

    I don't tend to be preachy. My philosophy is more live and let live. I feel that everyone has the right to decide what they want to eat for themselves.

    But I do like the "no spine" line! But as Dr. Seuss might have said, "...Scallops have no spine and I chose to decline..."


  10. #110
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote GoneVegan View Post
    Recently my wife mentioned to an acquaintance that we were now vegan, and as such were not eating any animal products.

    The acquaintance replied, "So you eat fish, right?"

    ;-)
    haha...the day i first told my mother, i was standing in her kitchen and mentioned that i decided to be vegan, no meat or dairy...about 10 seconds later she offered me a turkey and cheese sandwich. ummm, hello? is the concept really that unfathomable?

  11. #111
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote veggiemaya View Post
    haha...the day i first told my mother, i was standing in her kitchen and mentioned that i decided to be vegan, no meat or dairy...about 10 seconds later she offered me a turkey and cheese sandwich. ummm, hello? is the concept really that unfathomable?



    My wife's mom continues to offer her coffee even though she knows that my wife has NEVER drank coffee. Maybe it's just a mom thing....

  12. #112
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote puca View Post
    Somebody mentioned the environment and I said that maybe environmentalism would be a better way to promote it as a lot of people don't really want to hear about animal welfare or animal rights. Which to be fair is true in my experience.
    yes i agree. most people won't even let me start to tell them anything about the way animals are being treated because its "too sad and upsetting", as they look back down at their plate of steak or chicken and continue to eat. talk about ignorance being bliss!

    Quote puca View Post
    It actually hurt me a it because he said that something I wrote on facebooks0 had alienated a lot of people I know (who actually discusses what other people put on Facebook? And I couldn't see how it was offensive, I have even had friends saying it wasn't)... Now I wonder if some of my mates hate me, or if he's been stirring trouble.
    please, don't let what that person said hurt you. deciding to be vegan is a personal choice, made because of personal values. so, maybe next time you should tell him something more along the lines of "mind your own f-ing business" it may not be witty...but let me tell you..it gets the point across!

  13. #113
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    Quote GoneVegan View Post


    My wife's mom continues to offer her coffee even though she knows that my wife has NEVER drank coffee. Maybe it's just a mom thing....
    yes, i think you may have a point there!!

  14. #114
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    Default Is rude witty?

    maybe not witty but they soon won't forget...

    my local mag's 'fashions pick' was fur trimmed red leather gloves...
    I shot back an email:

    "...if you think features are more attractive framed in fur then skip the bikini wax!"

    Also when milk arrives at the table along with my order of black coffee, I hand it back with "no thanks, I don't ingest bodily fluids from other females."

    my poor partner
    Last edited by pat sommer; Jan 29th, 2008 at 06:45 AM. Reason: mistyped
    the only animal ingredient in my food is cat hair

  15. #115
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    Default Re: Is rude witty?

    Quote pat sommer View Post

    Also when milk arrives at the table along with my order of black coffee, I hand it back with "no thanks, I don't want bodily fluids from other females."

    HYSTERICAL!

  16. #116
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    Default Re: Is rude witty?

    Quote pat sommer View Post
    "...if you think features are more attractive framed in fur then skip the bikini wax!"
    haha, that is hysterical! and by the way, that pic is beautiful!! did you take that?

  17. #117

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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    people at my school are usually pretty cool about it, but this one guy is a jerk

    Annoying: But cows die if you don't milk them
    Me: Only if you steal their kids

    Not really witty but here's one i used on a teacher who wants me to do a fetal pig disection

    " You find me a pig that lived a long life and donated in writing its body to science, or one from a piggy Planned Parenthood, and i will gladly disect it"

  18. #118
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Pat, you're hilarious!!

  19. #119
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    i could have used a witty comeback a little while ago when one of my co-workers said "but you eat plants and they are living..how do you know that plants don't feel it when they are yanked from the ground?" and to be honest, i am usually a fairly witty person...but i also get to a point where people say something so stupid just to be facetious...and it just gets me pissed. meanwhile, she ordered a hot dog for lunch (gag)...and I am the one that is eating strange foods?? i dont believe there is one single person that can tell you what exactly is in one of those things.

  20. #120
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    I hear ya, VeggieMaya -- every damn day I have to hear comments in the lunchroom. I just joke around with them and it's become very light-hearted lately, thank god!!!

    People make fun of my food and I say, "Awww, you're eating Wilbur!" (the pig from "Charlotte's Web") ... everyone laughs and that's that ... *sigh* one of these days it will sink in with them.

  21. #121
    RubyDuby
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    veggiemaya- the central nervous system= ability to feel pain argument comes in handy a lot.
    Isn't it funny how soy beans are scary, but carcass is aok... ?

    healthy- yeah, what else can we do but joke or look like crazy angry people? hopefully one of them will have a realization of some kind, but i think its easier to stay ignorant and make fun.
    Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.

  22. #122
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote RubyDuby View Post
    Isn't it funny how soy beans are scary, but carcass is aok... ?.
    REALLY!

    Other "scary" items: dried seaweed; kimchi; an entire can of chickpeas; and of course, TOFU!

  23. #123
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    Quote Healthy View Post
    I hear ya, VeggieMaya -- every damn day I have to hear comments in the lunchroom. I just joke around with them and it's become very light-hearted lately, thank god!!!

    People make fun of my food and I say, "Awww, you're eating Wilbur!" (the pig from "Charlotte's Web") ... everyone laughs and that's that ... *sigh* one of these days it will sink in with them.
    oh..you're good. i have a problem with being so passive sometimes. i get to a point where i can just feel myself getting frustrated and instead of being constructive, something like "yeah? and you're ugly!" will come out. haha, jk! oh well...something to file under "things to work on"

  24. #124
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Veggie Maya, yeah, I had those days too where I'd say shit like, "Well, look how rockin' my body is...." but I'd prefer not to go that route anymore, it creates too much animosity, especially amongst women.

    I don't blame you though ... it's so hard to deal with ignorance ... it's a constant battle.

  25. #125
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote RubyDuby View Post
    veggiemaya- the central nervous system= ability to feel pain argument comes in handy a lot.
    Isn't it funny how soy beans are scary, but carcass is aok... ?

    healthy- yeah, what else can we do but joke or look like crazy angry people? hopefully one of them will have a realization of some kind, but i think its easier to stay ignorant and make fun.
    yes, i have to remember to remain calm so that i can answer with facts instead of just getting aggravated.
    by the way, i like the quote you have about the snowflakes..may i ask how you went about getting that to show up in your posts? i tried to do that and i wasn't able to figure it out. could have been having an ADD moment but..

  26. #126
    RubyDuby
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    sure. click on 'control panel' (upper left), then 'edit signature' (left hand column, top choice) and 'save' once you've typed it in.
    Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.

  27. #127
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    ...ah I feel at home here where my inherent rude nature is appreciated!

    'bout the plants-feel-pain: who's signature was it... "not a vegan because I love animals but because I hate plants"

    Plenty of room there to remark on potatoes screaming in the microwave and lettuce heads lopped off with one blow... sometimes agreeing with idiots is the best argument!

    Wish I could use one of my sunset pics, VeggieMaya, but can't figure out resizing...
    Last edited by pat sommer; Jan 30th, 2008 at 05:26 AM. Reason: forgot something
    the only animal ingredient in my food is cat hair

  28. #128
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Sometimes they really are never gonna get it. I get asked about the AR demos I go on at weekends like, " so how was your animal thing at the weekend?" My reply is always, "yeah it was great! Thanks for asking!" Pissing them off. But then I've got to the point where 90 people a day, who see me everyday ask me the same thing everyday, "So how's Emzy today?" My reply is always and consistently in my most sarcastic voice ever, " yeah I'm fantastic!" Then I deal with their paperwork and say nothing more to them. If people could come up with something better to say to me maybe I might be more receptive. However this is probably due to the fact that 1) I hate my job 2) their anti vegan stupidness just gets my back up.
    The taste of anything in my mouth for 5 seconds does not equate to the beauty and complexity of life.

  29. #129
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Emzy, the same questions every day irk me too. It's so mechanical.

    I wish people were more like they were as children, asking "What did you dream about last night?" rather than the homogenized: "How was your weekend?" and not really caring, only waiting to share about theirs.

  30. #130
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote emzy1985 View Post
    Sometimes they really are never gonna get it. I get asked about the AR demos I go on at weekends like, " so how was your animal thing at the weekend?" My reply is always, "yeah it was great! Thanks for asking!" Pissing them off. But then I've got to the point where 90 people a day, who see me everyday ask me the same thing everyday, "So how's Emzy today?" My reply is always and consistently in my most sarcastic voice ever, " yeah I'm fantastic!" Then I deal with their paperwork and say nothing more to them. If people could come up with something better to say to me maybe I might be more receptive. However this is probably due to the fact that 1) I hate my job 2) their anti vegan stupidness just gets my back up.
    i know what you mean. i have always been so anti-fake that it may be interpreted as rude, but if i am not interested in how someone's weekend was..i won't ask. and i dont want them to ask me if they really don't care about mine. but, so goes the disingenuous nature of human beings. my problem is that i work with people that are just completely ignorant about so many things...then when they hear me talk about it, they could care less. all the while they will sit there going back and forth about the most recent exciting stories out of the Star magazine. and i also have strong views politically...oh god dont even get me started about when they bring that up with me. i have to just end it quick or it can get ugly.

  31. #131
    RubyDuby
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote veggiemaya View Post
    i know what you mean. i have always been so anti-fake that it may be interpreted as rude, but if i am not interested in how someone's weekend was..i won't ask. and i dont want them to ask me if they really don't care about mine.
    i could have written that.

    Quote veggiemaya View Post
    but, so goes the disingenuous nature of human beings. my problem is that i work with people that are just completely ignorant about so many things...then when they hear me talk about it, they could care less. all the while they will sit there going back and forth about the most recent exciting stories out of the Star magazine. and i also have strong views politically...oh god dont even get me started about when they bring that up with me. i have to just end it quick or it can get ugly.
    i actually had a short casual conversation at work today about this very thing. talking about veganism at work is just as bad of an idea as talking about politics or religion. i wont do it anymore.
    Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.

  32. #132
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote RubyDuby View Post
    i could have written that. [/font][/font]


    [font=Book Antiqua]i actually had a short casual conversation at work today about this very thing. talking about veganism at work is just as bad of an idea as talking about politics or religion. i wont do it anymore.
    I really try not to..but before you know it, someone is standing there in the room talking to someone else about something involving politics...and i can tell they are completely uninformed about what is really going on..and it just gets to me. the problem is...they can be outspoken about what they stand behind (even when they cant really explain fully what it is) just because it is "the norm"...but if i am just as outspoken about my beliefs..or lack thereof in the religious category...there i go getting labeled weird again!
    The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.~ Mahatma Ghandi

  33. #133
    Metal Head emzy1985's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Wow! I'm glad others out there get fed up with the smae questions day in day out. I just thought it was because I have quite a short fuse anyway. You know the ideal things people could say to me:

    1) Hey Em! I went to see an awesome band last night! have you heard of them? (would never happen! I'm 22 and everyone else is nearly 50/60 with occassional 40 year old slapped in there/ Not being ageist - just the music I like really doesn't appeal to older people)

    2) I read about this animal rights demo at the weekend. What do you think of it!!?

    3) Em, I know you're having a shit day so I won't bother asking how you are doing. You give the same answer everyday anyway! (Now that would get me talking lol)

    4) Or general questions like - did you see this at the weekend? What did you think? Do you like this food? What do you think it means if....? Man what a shitty day I had today....I bet you'res wan't as bad? etc etc etc

    IF I HEAR "how's Emzy today?" or " cheer up love it might never happen!" I think I'll scream!!!!
    The taste of anything in my mouth for 5 seconds does not equate to the beauty and complexity of life.

  34. #134
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    Quote emzy1985 View Post
    IF I HEAR "how's Emzy today?" or " cheer up love it might never happen!" I think I'll scream!!!!
    what does "cheer up love it might never happen" even mean? and who are they to tell you what your emotional state should be?? haha! ya know? i love when people say.."smile, its not that bad". oh ok, because you know me so well that you can make that assumption? i never could understand that. and perhaps i smile all the time...at people that i feel deserve one! don't get me wrong, i am not a total bitch..i was just never a fan of the pretentious folk.
    The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.~ Mahatma Ghandi

  35. #135
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Whoa, one time someone said, "Smile it ain't that bad" to me days after my grandmother died --- I TOTALLY went off on them.

  36. #136
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    Quote Healthy View Post
    Whoa, one time someone said, "Smile it ain't that bad" to me days after my grandmother died --- I TOTALLY went off on them.
    there ya go!! but i bet you they will think twice before ever asking anyone that question again!
    The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.~ Mahatma Ghandi

  37. #137
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Over the holidays my mother called me up to tell me all about the fact that not only were she and my sibs having a gigantic turkey for dinner, but that they were also having a gigantic chicken. She went on and on and ON about the enormity of the chicken until I said, "It's big because it's flavored with delicious human growth hormone - just the way you guys like it!". She hung up soon after that.
    Check out the Toronto Vegetarian Podcast at veg.ca/tvp !

  38. #138
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    ....cheer up Emzy! it can only get worse...... couldn't resist

    Those work colleagues are there to teach us how to get along with people we don't like. God knows I have had my lessons.

    Answer to weekend Q: thanks for asking; I hope yours was as good.

    As miserable as some of my ex-workmates were to be around, I knew that they would risk their lives to pull me from a fire or would come to the hospital everyday if I had been hit by a truck. But oh, how I had to remind myself!
    the only animal ingredient in my food is cat hair

  39. #139
    Metal Head emzy1985's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Yeh thanks for winding me up guys

    "Cheer up love, it might never happen!" - I dunno what might never happen and I keep asking and they just look at me with a blank face!
    The taste of anything in my mouth for 5 seconds does not equate to the beauty and complexity of life.

  40. #140
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    Quote emzy1985 View Post
    Yeh thanks for winding me up guys

    "Cheer up love, it might never happen!" - I dunno what might never happen and I keep asking and they just look at me with a blank face!
    I think they just look at you blank because they don't know what to say as they are not expecting a response.

    It's just one of those annoying sayings that people use. It annoys the heck out of me too.

    I was out with some friends last week and some girl told me to "Cheer up!" my response was "I am perfectly content".

    Some people just seem to think you should walk around with a big stupid smile on your face constantly.

    People have told me I look mean or intimidating at times but I think has more to do with me being 6'3" and my deep set eyes, I can hardly help that.

  41. #141
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Pat you have such a positive attitude! I'm learning a lot of that as I go along, and your words are helping me -- so thanks!

  42. #142
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    If I'm arguing with ignorance, I usually go with the old standby:

    "Uhhhh... you're going to die sooner than me from heart complications some sort of painful disease... unless of course karma catches up with you and someone rapes you, takes away your offspring to sell for someone's $25.00 entree at a 5-star restaurant, and then takes all the milk that was meant for that offspring for years and years until you're spent and are no longer able to even stand or walk, then hang you by your ankles and slit your throat causing you to bleed to death, remove your hair by burning it off, hopefully when you still have a pulse, then cut you up and package you, and then send you off to be served from the dollar menu at a fast food joint. In which case, I would wish for the heart problems."

    Usually, that does the trick for me.
    Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity; fashion will drive them to acquire any custom.

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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    "Because Tofu needs to be taught a good lesson!"

  44. #144
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    When someone asks me in a snarky tone how my meal is, I'll answer that it's good, then ask about theirs. When they say that their slab of flesh is great, I smile and say, "Glad you like it! It's the tears that make it so tasty."


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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    to "wow- this is actually good!" (the usual response when i feed my friends vegan things) I usually respond "yah, its the complete lack of guilt that goes with it."

    or when people use "god made animals for us to eat" I'll use "if god made slaughterhouses, Satanism's sounding better every day" or the more pc "then i'd hate to see Satan's version of hell"

  46. #146
    veggiemaya's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote RachelRevolting View Post
    or when people use "god made animals for us to eat" I'll use "if god made slaughterhouses, Satanism's sounding better every day" or the more pc "then i'd hate to see Satan's version of hell"
    in that situation i might have to go with "if you can prove to me there even is a god, then i may just consider that a viable thought"
    The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.~ Mahatma Ghandi

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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote veggiemaya View Post
    in that situation i might have to go with "if you can prove to me there even is a god, then i may just consider that a viable thought"
    haha yah, i'd use that too except then I'd feel the need to go into a long-winded explanation on my religious beliefs, and i'd probably end up defending those as well as my dietary choices. *sigh*

  48. #148
    veggiemaya's Avatar
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    Quote RachelRevolting View Post
    haha yah, i'd use that too except then I'd feel the need to go into a long-winded explanation on my religious beliefs, and i'd probably end up defending those as well as my dietary choices. *sigh*
    i have to admit...i love that debate almost as much. sometimes more, depending on the mood i'm in. and i find that somehow its easier to get them to the point where they can't defend their religion, than it is to get them to where they can't defend eating meat.
    The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.~ Mahatma Ghandi

  49. #149
    Mahk
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals;
    it's because I hate vegetables." -Woody Allen

  50. #150
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    Default Re: Witty Vegan Comebacks!

    ^^ haha, this one works like a charm with closed-minded omni's who are very hostile and verbally attack you about being vegan...it always shuts them up instantly.
    You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
    ~John Wooden

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