Has Having Children Restored Your Faith in the Human Race?

**monkey60613** · May 21st, 2006 02:42 PM

Do your children help you keep things in perspective? Or does it make you worry more?

My husband and I are officially "trying".

On good days I imagine looking into our newborn's eyes and seeing the good of humanity again.

On bad days, even though we will raise our child vegan as long as possible, I know we'll just be adding to it all. Especially, when on my way to work everyday, I drive by soccer fields that are right next door to a cattle ranch. Scores of eager, selfish little consumers on one side of the fence and their next meal on the other.

Your answer will not change my decision to have a child (or adopt). I just want to hear the different viewpoints.

tabitha · May 21st, 2006 02:44 PM

I have teenagers.......I longer have the will to live, let alone faith in the human race

**Maisiepaisie** · May 21st, 2006 02:52 PM

When I was carrying my first child I imagined he would be perfect and not at all like 'those other naughty kids'. Fourteen years later nothing could be further from the truth. My eldest son lives with my mum because I cannot deal with his bad behaviour anymore and was heading for a mental breakdown.

I have another son who is eleven. He's my best friend and we get on really well. I'm really proud of the way he's turned out.

My point...even if you bring up a child the best way you can thats no guarantee they will turn out the way you want them too. I'd never have any more children as I couldn't go through again what I went through with my eldest boy.

**monkey60613** · May 21st, 2006 02:58 PM

I knew I'd be hearing from you on this one Tabitha!

I've seen your posts about your kids. You seem to have a wonderful sense of humor and wisdom about parenthood and how to choose your battles with your children.

tabitha · May 21st, 2006 03:09 PM

LOL! You got me there Monkey

Im glad you know Im joking! I love my boys more than anything in the whole wide world. They are handsome, lovely human beings, although I very often want to wring their necks. Enjoy this journey you are embarking on. Make the most of every moment. I wish you luck and all the joy it has bought me. (That is my serious comment for today).

**poppy seed** · May 21st, 2006 04:50 PM

I have one brilliant, talented, and incredibly nice 20 year-old son. It is very easy to boast about him and his acomplishments, and he has brought us so much joy and fun. And I have a 16-year-old daughter. She is very sweet too, but sadly, she is very disabled - mentally and medically. She, however, is the one who has really refreshed my hope in mankind. I have met so many wonderful, caring people through her; and have come to appreciate the little things in life. (She has also brought us to the depths of despair at times.) You truly have no idea what the experience of parenthood will bring until you are in it!

tabitha · May 21st, 2006 05:37 PM

Beautifully put Poppy Seed. (((hugs to you))). Its an experience allright!

**kriz** · May 21st, 2006 05:47 PM

I'm very split on this issue as well. I worked with children for 6 years, and allthough it was fun and intresting, it was also so exhausting at times. I was completely in the children's world for 9-10 hours a day, visiting every park and activity center. It was a good learning experience, but I'm afraid I only got to see the more practical side of having children, the labor and responsibility that goes into it, not experiencing the unconditional love and happiness only a parent can feel.

So, now, when I'm thinking about having my own I only see work, work, work. I also see that many things are beyond our control and we never know how our off springs will turn out, that's just nature. Look how different siblings can be. I wonder if becoming a parent by 'accident' is a better way in some cases. That way one doesn't have to deal with such a difficult choice, worrying if the best decision is being made or not, but would have to adapt to the situation in the best manner.

**Bunny** · May 21st, 2006 07:21 PM

I have three children, two girls and a boy. My eldest is only 5 and so far it has all been wonderful. I am a single mother (scourge of the earth) and although it is hard work, it keeps me going. I honestly believe more people that care about our planet as much as we do (just by fact of being vegan) should have children, and bring them up to respect life as much as we do. THat is my aim with my children. I do not force anything, I do not make them vegan, I just explain myself and my views as gently as possible. I don't want them to feel different to their peers and unhappy, but I also want them to be strong enough to stand up for their views and not follow the crowd, if the crowd is wrong.

To see small children explain to their friends about the planet and why we should take care of it definitely restores my faith in humanity!

Kriz, it is definitely the love that helps you get through the work!

**Bunny** · May 21st, 2006 07:23 PM

When I say I don;t make them vegan, I mean that they are as vegan as possible at home, but I don't stop them having things at parties etc if that is what they want. I hope then they will make their own choices later in life.

**Tigerlily** · May 21st, 2006 07:26 PM

That's a good attitude and one I will like to adopt when/if I have kids.

I grew up being alienated and being the weirdo from the rest of the kids. It still bothers me and I still have problems because of it (depression and anxiety). I don't want my kids to feel left out or weird or whatever.

**Maisiepaisie** · May 21st, 2006 11:40 PM

Its hard to bring up kids in this non vegan world. I think no matter what you do there are always going to be situations where the vegan kid feels 'different'. It shouldn't be like that and hopefully one day it won't be anymore.

**moonshadow** · May 23rd, 2006 08:42 AM

having my daughter hasn't really changed my perspective on humanity.

people are.

there is good and there is not so good. it's always been that way, and it always will be.

all we can do is do what feels right. for me this includes being vegan, it includes raising my daughter (we tried for three years to get her), it includes being nice to people. i hope to pass on some of my sense of what feels right to my daughter. i hope to learn from her at the same time.