How does your child deal with not eating at home with you?

**Sheila** · Jun 11th, 2006 03:15 PM

My daughter has been vegan now for about 6 weeks. She's doing great and has no problem with the food choices at home. I'm starting to see a problem though outside of my house.

The last day of school was on Friday and we are facing a whole summer of a bunch of sleep overs at her friends houses. Her best friend stays over often and she goes over there as well. These people have no clue about nutrition. The available fare for breakfast is Chocolate Chip Waffles, Pop Tarts, Coco Puffs, or Fruit Loops.

When her kids come to my house they only eat vegan food and love it. The mother just really has no clue about what to feed my child even though we are very close friends and have discussed this indepth.

I have sent over all of the vegan food that she eats such as 'chicken' nuggets, organic waffles, and other convenience items so she doesn't feel like she's missing something.

The problem is she's having issues when she's around other kids that she cannot just eat what their parents give them.

She's so proud of herself for getting healthy and she sees all of the wonderful changes but I think the temptations are getting the best of her and she feels like the weird kid who's mama is a tree hugging vegan who makes her eat funky stuff.

Do any of you have any advice? It would really be appreciated.

Thank you,
Sheila

**pat sommer** · Jul 10th, 2006 10:17 AM

How are you surviving your summer so far?
I WAS that wierd kid in the seventies (no parental support) and now its my little one's turn. Hey, makes them stronger doesn't it? Hope all is going well for you and your family!

**fiamma** · Jul 10th, 2006 10:42 AM

I'm not sure I agree with the "it makes them stronger" attitude, especially where kids are concerned. We're all different, and where one person might thrive, another will not do as well. I am still getting over some of the stuff my parents put me through when I was a kid.

Sheila, I think you ultimately have to leave it up to your daughter as to how she handles herself when she's not at home. The fact that she's proud of how she's changed on a vegan diet is a positive sign. I say make her vegan food the best possible when she's away from home, that way she'll be less inclined to pick at non-vegan food and the others will be envious of all those vegan goodies! You say the other kids love her vegan food, so it doesn't seem like they're making fun of her or anything. It's a really tough situation and I don't envy you, but it sounds like your daughter is motivated and I'm sure she'll find her own way.

**annabanana** · Jul 10th, 2006 11:26 AM

I think you should leave it up to her - is has worked so far with my daughter, at home she eats what I give her and I told her it is her choice what she does with her friends.Just don't make a big deal of it or she may get tempted to rebel

Ultimately it will be her choice anyway what she eats, but she sounds like she is really smart and things will work out once the newness of the situation has worn off a little.

**moonshadow** · Jul 11th, 2006 04:37 PM

i was raised vegetarian, as was my sister. when we went to other places, i'd refuse to eat things that weren't vegetarian, but my sister jumped at the chance.

you really do have to just leave it up to her. you can talk about why you make the decisions you do, and let her know that she is able to make her own decisions outside of home, and that every opportunity to choose is a seperate choice-- if she's chosen to eat something animally once, and she changes her mind later on, she doesn't have to make that choice again later on.

i wound up vegan, and my sister's an omni now. it's a tough spot, and i don't look forward to it with xylia, but i'm sure the discussions are not far away (the first time we were offered meat by a neighbour my sister was just over two years old!)

**Sheila** · Jul 29th, 2006 08:24 PM

Thanks everyone for the responses. We came to a solution that saved my sanity. At home during this summer she is vegan. When she goes to her friends or Grandparents she is veggie, but not to be abused. Such as no grilled cheese or drinking a glass of milk. We had a long talk and 'she decided' that she would make the best choice possible out of the available options. Under no circumstance was she to eat meat though.

The funny thing about this all is that school has been out for about 6 weeks and I can see that she is not as vibrant as she was being only vegan. She actually told me she doesn't feel as good being a veggie. Maybe it's a lesson she needs to learn for herself.

Thanks again,
Sheila