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Thread: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

  1. #1

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    Default If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    I'm slightly new here- finally decided to give up milk and eggs for lent, followed by other, 'hidden' animal byproducts once I have the hang of the first. Is this the ideal way to go, or should I give it all up cold turkey ? I've been a vegetarian for most of my life, I ate chicken until I was eight, then gave it up. I'm now fifteen, so meat is absolutely no issue to me.

    I have had a recurring mental question though. It involves a small scenario that requires a bit of explination so stay with me... I have a friend who owns a small farm, with hens and such running around freely and happily. He asked me a few days ago why I would give up all eggs, when he would gladly sell me some actual freerange eggs, none of that meat industry blasphemy. When I told him that the philosophy of veganism was that animals do not exist for our uses, and to not accept food that comes from them. He asked me "Well... if a monkey made you a sandwich, would you eat it?" I thought that was funny and replied that i would, in fact eat it, if it did not contain any animal products, but it made me think...

    How is eating the monkey's sandwich any more ethical than a free-range chicken's egg? If anything it's less ethical- the monkey might want that sandwich for later, while the chicken has no use for its unfertalized egg.

    Sorry for my strange question, just wanted some input.

    x

  2. #2
    fighting mouse Shells's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Did the monkey wash his hands first?
    "Happiness, not in another place, but this place, not for another hour, but this hour." ~Walt Whitman

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Shells View Post
    Did the monkey wash his hands first?
    oh ! of course ! it was a very clean monkey and he definitely did not spit in your sandwich.

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    CATWOMAN sandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    If the monkey made me the sandwich because he/she wanted to do something nice for me then I would eat it. If later the monkey was then hungry I would give him/her food to eat.............simple!
    Just to add that the point here is 'free will'...........the chicken has no control over you taking it's eggs and will continue to lay more eggs to compensate for the ones it has lost.
    I like Sandra, she keeps making me giggle. Daft little lady - Frosty

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    well the chicken would lay the egg whether I took it or not. she has no more control over her menstruation as i do

  6. #6
    VenomousX's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Lol interesting question. The point is the monkey is handing you a sandwich and the chicken is not giving you her egg, it's just there and you take it. You took something which wasn't yours, so it's stealing.

    Personally I've read about vegans that keep chickens as pets and they mix the unfertilized eggs in with their chicken's feed, providing them with a ton of extra nutrients. I thought it was kind of gross at first but after letting it sink in for a while it's actually a really clever and ethical solution to the problem.

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    Ex-admin Korn's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    I wouldn't mind eating a sandwich made by a monkey (if it was clean), but I would oppose both training a monkey to make sandwiches and any commercial use of monkeys.

    well the chicken would lay the egg whether I took it or not.
    By eating her eggs, she will start to produce more eggs than she otherwise would have done... this is the main dilemma behind the egg production: by removing the eggs, humans, and not hens control how many eggs they shall produce, to the degree than it's considered 'normal' that hens are bleeding due to their abnormal high production of eggs.

    Vegans and eggs

    Here's something I recently read about free range eggs (I'll post the link later):

    A growing number of people are looking to "free-range" as an alternative to factory farm eggs. Eggs (and poultry) may be labeled as "free-range" if they have USDA-certified access to the outdoors. No other criteria, such as environmental quality, size of the outside area, number of birds, or space per bird, are included in this term. Typically, free-range hens are debeaked at the hatchery, have only 1 to 2 square feet of floor space per bird, and -- if the hens can go outside -- must compete with many other hens for access to a small exit from the shed, leading to a muddy strip saturated with droppings. Although chickens can live up to 12 years, free-range hens are hauled to slaughter the same as battery-caged hens, after a year or two. Free-range male chicks are trashed at birth, just as they are in factory farms. Although free-range conditions may be an improvement over factory-farm conditions, they are by no means free of cruelty

  8. #8
    CATWOMAN sandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote love,lee View Post
    well the chicken would lay the egg whether I took it or not. she has no more control over her menstruation as i do
    Yes, the more you take the eggs away...........the more the chicken feels the need to lay more to replace those lost, so you are causing unnecessary stress and work for the chicken.

    Anyway, why would you want to eat a hen's period?
    I like Sandra, she keeps making me giggle. Daft little lady - Frosty

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Ask you friend what happens to the 50% of the chicks hatched that are male. There is no 'happy free-range' scenario - it's all about killing, whether it's in a factory farm or not.

  10. #10

    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    If it were freely given by a monkey who had not been trained to do it then I would share it with the monkey, possibly offering said monkey a glug or two of my London Pride afterwards. We might then go on to a light banana dessert..
    ..but what would they do with all the cows?..

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    campbell Campbell's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    This is without doubt the weirdest question I have ever come across on this forum... I like it!

    Of course I would eat it... not the monkey, that is, but the sandwich, yes

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    I love how obscure this question is.
    mmmmmmm...cupcakes

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    baffled harpy's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote love,lee View Post
    I'm slightly new here- finally decided to give up milk and eggs for lent, followed by other, 'hidden' animal byproducts once I have the hang of the first. Is this the ideal way to go, or should I give it all up cold turkey ?
    I did it gradually too, but some people do it overnight - I think you're best placed to know what will work for you. It might help your family to accept it if it's a more gradual process, if that's an issue.

    He asked me a few days ago why I would give up all eggs, when he would gladly sell me some actual freerange eggs, none of that meat industry blasphemy. When I told him that the philosophy of veganism was that animals do not exist for our uses, and to not accept food that comes from them. He asked me "Well... if a monkey made you a sandwich, would you eat it?"
    I think the operative word is "you" in "made YOU a sandwich". If the monkey intended the sandwich for you it would be rude not to eat it but of course if it intended it for itself it would be rude to eat it. Eating a hen's eggs is more like eating the sandwich the monkey made for itself, because the hen didn't lay the egg for a human to eat.

  14. #14
    Good sperm
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Hmm, it depends. Would the sandwich be cut into squares or triangles?

  15. #15

    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Would the sandwich be one suitable for a vegan?
    'Spring will soon pounce [like a floppy kitten]'. Whalespace.

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    baffled harpy's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote absentmindedfan View Post
    Hmm, it depends. Would the sandwich be cut into squares or triangles?
    Shut up and eat your crusts, AMF!

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote harpy View Post
    Shut up and eat your crusts, AMF!
    Already have, hence the curly hair

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    CATWOMAN sandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote harpy View Post

    I think the operative word is "you" in "made YOU a sandwich". If the monkey intended the sandwich for you it would be rude not to eat it but of course if it intended it for itself it would be rude to eat it. Eating a hen's eggs is more like eating the sandwich the monkey made for itself, because the hen didn't lay the egg for a human to eat.

    You have put it so perfectly harpy!
    I've been thinking all day about this question and the way you have answered it was exactly what I was thinking but couldn't put into words!
    I like Sandra, she keeps making me giggle. Daft little lady - Frosty

  19. #19
    baffled harpy's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Gosh, thanks, Sandra

    I suppose children do get encouraged to think of cows "giving" milk etc and so it's not surprising when adults think about it in that way, even though as we know it's really a question of taking rather than giving. But I can just about imagine a primate deciding to share food with a human, as I think they sometimes do share it with one another.

  20. #20
    CATWOMAN sandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Yes, it would have to be done out of free will, not because the monkey had been trained to do it.
    I found myself out shopping for groceries today with hubby, mulling this question over in my mind (as you do)...............at first it seems like a ridiculous question but then when you really think about it, it takes on so many other connotations.
    I think in the end it really does come down to free will..............if another being does something for you because they WANT to that is ok..........if they do it because they HAVE to, that is something entirely different.
    I like Sandra, she keeps making me giggle. Daft little lady - Frosty

  21. #21
    pavotrouge
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    hi love, lee welcome to the forum.

    I think your friend simply has seen Steven the Vegan on youtube and now thinks he's witty because of that.

    I don't see how questions like that- totally unlogical and senseless ones- help anybody.

    The correct question, IMHO would be: How the hell would a monkey do that?

    What if little cats from space made you a sandwich? Or the flying spaghetti monster?!

    - About going vegan, my opinion is: try it cold turkey for two weeks. My veganism started when a friend suggested to try eat only vegan things for one week. I never looked back.

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    i see what you mean
    like... since an animal can not give you his or her permission to have the milk or eggs or meat and bones, we should all assume that she doesn't want us to have it.
    so many people take it for granted that an animal cannot speak.

  23. #23
    RubyDuby
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    If another species came along, who could not understand our intellect, and decided to use us for their benefit, would it be okay as long as they didn't believe they were harming us?

    The monkey would have had to been trained (as others said) in order to know what a sandwich was or how to make one.

    I know what you mean about questions like this causing u to stop and be speechless. I'm terrible on the spot! Everybody is trying to justify what they believe the right thing to be. The internet is great that we can see all the different reasoning behind different views and decide for ourselves what we believe is right.
    Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    The monkey GAVE you the sandwich. You TOOK the egg. It's pretty obvious to me. Hope this helps.


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    VelvetDragon's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Ha ha ha! This is a great -- and very weird -- question.

    So, we've established the monkey is clean, free, and was not trained to do so.

    Well, I eat sandwiches made by other, uglier primates, so why not?

    Of course, this question is an absolutely arbitrary one and it's not going to happen. :P

  26. #26

    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    My brother looks like a monkey, and I've eaten sandwiches he's made me.

    Now that I think about it, he probably didn't wash his hands either.
    context is everything

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    Ex-admin Korn's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    My brother looks like a monkey, and I've eaten sandwiches he's made me.
    This thread is getting better and better!

  28. #28
    6th Spice Girl Cheezcake Spice's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    What if the monkey was really Tarzan in disguise?? lol. I'm sure Disney has already attempted to cover that topic in one of their many sequals.

    As long as the monkey didn't put any bugs in the sandwhich I'd eat it. Or is that gorillas that eat critter babies? Your question confuses me!!!!

  29. #29
    perfect RedWellies's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    I'll make you all a sandwich instead, how about that?
    "Do what you can with what you have where you are."
    - Theodore Roosevelt

  30. #30
    pavotrouge
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    ok. but without pickles

    what if the monkey died while he was making the sandwich?

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote harpy View Post
    ... I can just about imagine a primate deciding to share food with a human, as I think they sometimes do share it with one another.
    Quote Cheezcake Spice View Post
    ...
    As long as the monkey didn't put any bugs in the sandwhich I'd eat it. Or is that gorillas that eat critter babies? Your question confuses me!!!!
    I think gorillas just munch vegetation, and sometimes there are bugs in it.

    I read some idea about sharing food evolving from not trying to defend all of it, to throwing some to satisfy aggressive scavengers....to encouraging attendance. Pacification.

    I wouldn't mince the monkey's brothers, whether she layed me a sandwich or not.
    Eating menstrual leftovers is the thin end of a wedge, but less bad than calf trauma in my opinion.
    Problematic is waking someone whom pretends to sleep.

  32. #32
    ImVeganOUT!!!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    this is awesome..props to the girl who asked the question and i think i have to say diddo to sandra becuz she put it into words so well

  33. #33
    Russ
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    loooooooooooooooool @ thread ...

    I think possibly ... though if said monkey has successfully made a sandwich then s/he surely has A KNIFE ... I'll eat it, but I'm not turning my back on that monkey for a second ...

    In fact I can't see this having a good outcome. You guys just aren't seeing the big picture. Monkeys + knives = bloodshed and possible takeover of planet by primate forces .. and then DIS HAPPENS ...



    *falls to his knees*

    NOOOOOOOOOOOO .... THIS WAS OUR PLANET ....

  34. #34

    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    I'm glad to see you chose the original one there Russ.

  35. #35
    Russ
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    It's because I'm a huge Charlton Heston, fan, didn'tchaknow?

  36. #36

    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Anyone that can blow away mutants and quote from Woodstock, as in The Omega Man gets my vote .... um ... maybe not.

    I wonder if a mutant made you a sandwich would you eat it??

  37. #37
    Russ
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Is it a regular mutant, or a mutant monkey? Hmmm ...

    If the mutants and monkeys can both make sandwiches ... how long before they invent burning-hot soup?

    I liked how the remake of the Omega Man (that came out 28 YEARS AFTER) was presented as a new movie ...

  38. #38

    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    It's only those of us who like 70's scifi movies that would know that film factoid Russ.
    As to soup wielding mutants .... is the soup made from Soylent Green?

  39. #39

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    So can we eat Soylent Green if it's made out of vegans?

  40. #40
    Russ
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Could be ... but more importantly ..

    IT'S A COOKBOOK ...!!

    Edit: this post was fail ...

  41. #41

    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Ruby Rose View Post
    So can we eat Soylent Green if it's made out of vegans?
    Just a thought.... maybe it depends on whether the said ingredient gave their consent beforehand. It would make an interesting addition to my kidney donor card. Maybe something like: In the event of an accident in a future society faced by a food crisis and overpopulation, I give my consent to being reused as food, but only for vegans.

  42. #42
    frugivorous aubergine's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Russ View Post
    .. and then DIS HAPPENS ...
    Nice.

  43. #43
    Mahk
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Korn View Post
    I wouldn't mind eating a sandwich made by a monkey (if it was clean), but I would oppose both training a monkey to make sandwiches and any commercial use of monkeys.
    But what about keeping the monkey as a companion animal/pet? Is that okay since (some) people have been doing it for centuries?

    This thread's original question is not so original:
    [YOUTUBE]puGYYhTs4Fo[/YOUTUBE]

  44. #44

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Always makes me smile! But then, the monkey is a red herring (or some such miscegenation) - the thread's original question was about free range eggs, and why vegans didn't eat them even if they came from 'happy' hens.

  45. #45
    Russ
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    You're right ... another day, another threadjacking ...

    *hangs head in shame*

  46. #46
    Rice Dream Digital Ghost's Avatar
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    My first thought is...............Seeing as its a monkey making the sandwich the filling would probably be banana and I don't like bananas - so no I wouldn't eat it.
    The day breaks and everything is new.

  47. #47
    Good sperm
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Digital Ghost View Post
    My first thought is...............Seeing as its a monkey making the sandwich the filling would probably be banana and I don't like bananas - so no I wouldn't eat it.
    That's being predijudiced towards monkey culture. HATE CRIME!

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote Russ View Post
    You're right ... another day, another threadjacking ...

    *hangs head in shame*
    No, no - jack away, my friend! (oo-er ) Sorry to have called everyone to order.

  49. #49
    Russ
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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote absentmindedfan View Post
    That's being predijudiced towards monkey culture. HATE CRIME!
    loooooooooooooool yeah ... FIRST THEY CAME FOR THE MONKEES ... not being a monkey, I did not speak up ..

    Quote Ruby Rose
    No, no - jack away, my friend!
    I was going to wait until I'd LEFT THE FORUM in five minutes time .. but LUCKY FOR YOU I TAKE REQUESTS ...

    Sorry to have called everyone to order.
    So you should be ... I was just joining in on the trolling which I -suspect- is the whole basis of this thread ...

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    Default Re: If A Monkey Made you a Sandwich, would you eat it ?

    Quote horselesspaul View Post
    If it were freely given by a monkey who had not been trained to do it then I would share it with the monkey, possibly offering said monkey a glug or two of my London Pride afterwards. We might then go on to a light banana dessert..
    I agree with that and after the light banana dessert, followed by cheezly, biscuits and coffee, I'd ask the monkey if he or she would care to accompany me to a club or, if he/she didn't feel like dancing the night away, to see a film. The perfect night out.

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